I can’t over emphasize the importance of little times of fun and silliness. The tiniest, simplest and often least expensive things can make for moments of real intimacy. Here’s a tip from a generous wife that gives you a glimpse into what I mean. (thanks, Jennifer!)
This week our date night was a game night, and I started the day off by inviting him to play hangman with me on our bathroom mirror. I used a dry erase maker to leave blank spots that would become a love message. We had a blast going back and forth throughout the day – I’d walk by and see he had guessed a new letter and I would fill in the blank or continue to draw my “hangman.” (My stick figure drawing became something less lethal and way more fun.) By the end of the night, he had guessed his message and we got to go do what the stick couple on the mirror was doing. The next morning, he had initiated a new game. Fun!
(If you want to share your date night ideas, please comment here.)
Be generous! Lori <><
I’m going to share another hubby tip. What can I say, he’s good. This concept is so important. Our culture teaches us to let things slide and look for the easy route. A good marriage can take real work, but it’s one of the best investments you’ll every make.
I had cause recently to go mucking about in my spam folder – all the stuff I never see because software dumps it for me. As I ran through it looking for one e-mail, I found an interesting common thread in much of what was there … I saw get a degree without any studying, lose weight without exercise or diet, and even “make money in sleep”. In other words, a lot of spam is offering to give us something for nothing – or at least something without doing any real work for it.
If this is a hallmark of our culture, then do we look for the same thing in our marriages? Do we want the easy fix, the no work solution, or maybe the “throw money at it to fix it” method? The reality is a good marriage takes work, and a great marriage takes a lot of work. And not just work, but ongoing work – without maintenance you lose ground, and growth always takes additional effort.
I can assure you that the rewards of the effort can be great. The joy of a good marriage is deep and profound. Don’t let the something for nothing attitude that is so common today rob you of what you could have.
My husband had a very nice tip last night that I want to pass on to y’all. Here it is with gender changes.
It seems to me that forgiveness sometimes takes a number of times to get all the way down inside. I’m not talking about the choice we make to forgive, but the feelings that so often don’t immediately follow that choice. Sometimes it seems like forgiving the same thing several times is needed, with each time moving me farther down the road to feeling what I think I should feel – or maybe more accurately not feeling what I know I should no longer feel. It just seems, sometimes, that it takes several times to dig down through the various layers and deal with all of the hurt, resentment, and so on.
The other side of this is feeling forgiven. I might be fully forgiven, really, totally, and yet not feel I am, or should be. This is probably because I have not forgiven myself for what I did; but whatever the reason, there [are] things I have asked my husband to forgive me for that I had to ask a number of times before I felt it was really dead and buried.
If any of this seems valid in your marriage, then I suggest you and your husband discuss it and decide if it’s okay to ask more than once for forgiveness, or offer forgiveness more than once.
Be generous! Lori <><
My husband likes “sparkly” things. I am not a “sparkly” kind of gal. I like scrumptious dark colors and simple, clean decorating, so you can imagine that the plasma ball and fiber optic glowing thingie are not my favorite decorative items. That said, my husband likes them and our home is his home too. It’s a respect thing to make room for his likes as well as my own. They’re not bad items, they’re just … sparkly.
I encourage y’all to take your husband’s likes and interests into account when decorating your home. Yes, the moose head is a bit much, but surely there is a part of the house that is more masculine where the hairy critter can be incorporated (think twinkle lights at Christmas time). ;-) It’s about making your home a place where he feels welcomed and valued.
It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own (as well as others’) special light. Mary Dunbar (parenthetical comment mine)
Be generous! Lori <><