We find what we look for.
If you think your husband is having a moment of selfishness, you are likely to fuss about it (in your head or out loud) and begin to see more of that. You can even begin to see the good he does as really an expression of selfishness. It’s like developing selfishness-colored glasses.
When something like this begins to happen (over anything negative or destructive), push back.
No, don’t lie about reality. If there’s a problem talk about it (graciously) and work for a solution, but do begin to intentionally balance the difficulties with good self talk. Don’t let the negativity run away with you and color everything he does. He is more than just his moment of thoughtlessness or selfishness.
Dwelling on negative thoughts is like fertilizing weeds.Norman Vincent Peale