Make Spaghetti for Your Husband

You hear the stories about the mother-in-law that is a terrific cook, whose spaghetti is her son’s favorite meal and absolutely a-m-a-z-i-n-g. The new wife loses her mind because she won’t be able to give her husband the meals he is used to. The comparison feels overwhelming and she is certainly not ever, ever, ever going to make spaghetti!

Make Spaghetti for Your Husband - Who will win? Your fears or your desire to enjoy life fully with your man?

I get it, I do. But here’s the thing. Your husband still needs to eat and you can learn to be a good cook. Sharing meals with you is more than just food to him, it’s about building a life with the woman he loves. I doubt most husbands are as bothered by the comparison and can understand that you are learning to cook.

When you walk away from something because you are afraid of the comparison, you are letting that other person or situation own your options and you are cheating yourself and/or your husband out of some very good things. And your husband will learn that your fears have more power over you than your desire to give him what he enjoys.

Now here comes the hard part. What are you avoiding because you’re afraid you will disappoint your husband or look bad/silly in the process? What are you and your husband going without because of that fear of comparison?

Are you afraid to try an activity your husband keeps inviting you to (you might look stupid, you might not do it “right”)? Are you afraid to try his favorite position in bed (because he did that with an old girl friend) or dress more feminine (you don’t want to be compared to other women)?

I realize I am asking something terribly difficult of you, but I want you to see clearly how much you and your husband are missing out on because you’re afraid of comparison, failure, or looking silly.

Who will win? Your fears or your desire to enjoy life fully with your man?

Make spaghetti for your husband.

We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.  Bob Goff

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Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you grow in courage and work on those areas where you have been afraid of comparison.

This Month’s Marriage Challenge: Look for ways to team up with your husband in plans, actions, and attitudes.

 I am an Organizing Junkie: 5 Tips for an Organized Tea and Coffee Station Make coffee with your mate an easy thing to do.

Gary Thomas: How (and Why) to Stop Asking God to Change Your Spouse Sweet must read post.

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4 Comments on “Make Spaghetti for Your Husband

  1. I love this!!! I used to be the upset because I couldn’t cook as good as mil wife. But I decided one day (after subsisting on lots of canned/frozen foods), to up my game, because why couldn’t hubby and kids love my food just as much. After 8 years of research, learning, tweaking, and creating (cook books, cooking shows, cooking magazines, online recipe sites) I’ve become his most favorite cook. And a lot of recipes I’ve been given by both sides of our families have been elevated to something better. He would now rather eat at home vs anywhere else. (And my spaghetti sauce recipe is asked for often, especially when transformed into chicken parmigiana, his second favorite dish). It is possible to become better at most everything in life. Even if it’s not broke, you can always make it more awesome. Sure, it takes planning and gumption, but it’s worth it.. Especially when your husband goes back to his sweet mother and brags about you!!!! Competition is good. And you might even convince hubby to buy you that nice new skillet or kitchen accessory if he knows you’ll be sending out heaven from the kitchen. ;)

      • I’m always happy to share recipes when asked, but don’t have a blog. I’ve found running my house, homeschooling, and cooking :) don’t leave me with much time left (except recharging/relaxing time). Although my kids do bug me about writing a cookbook.

        • That would be a great idea. In your spare time create a cook book. One and done ~ an ongoing stream of income and you’ve shared your gifting.

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