I am not Ms. Spontaneity. I’m not even her sister.
My husband, on the other hand, was born with extra spontaneous genes. He lives for adventure, the more spontaneous the better.
Yesterday I talked about making room for those priorities that are important to your spouse. When I say that we tend to think of more tangible things, but it can also mean the less tangible. My husband needs a certain amount of adventure to be happy. I’m an introvert, so I need alone time to feel balanced. We both need a fair amount of creative expression (for me it’s Zentangle and crocheting).
Be sure to consider your sweetie’s less tangible needs and priorities.
Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you become a student of your spouse.
♥ Hot, Holy & Humorous: Pursuing 4-Dimensional Intimacy A great guest post about the many kinds of intimacy. Congrats, Tom and Debi on your new book! :)
♥ Life of Joy: Improving Your Marriage A bit of wisdom from a fellow Zentangler.
I have priorities. My husband has priorities.
This year I really need to get in some gardening. Emotionally I need to play in the dirt and see things grow. It doesn’t have to be much, but I need to see something green.
My husband is the practical sort and he wants to see our RV home set up well with the utilities done right. There is a sense of security and wellness about that for him.
We have other priorities as well, some big, some small. Some of our priorities are important to the practical functioning of our lives and some have more to do with emotional well being (which in the long run winds up being pretty important).
My point is that if you know your spouse’s priorities, the things that matter to them, you can be helpful and encouraging. If it matters to them, let it matter to you.
It’s one more way to be generous and say “I love you” in their language.
Many of us spend more time on the C’s of life than on the A’s of life. Don’t allow trivial things to crowd out the important ones. Merrill Douglass
♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you and your husband value each other’s priorities.
♥ Home Storage Solutions 101: How to Never Run Out of Household Items and Grocery Staples Practical tips for keeping needed items on hand.
♥ Marc & Angel Hack Life: 9 Mindful Ways to Remain Calm When Others Are Angry For when people don’t meet your expectations.
Recently Paul and I have had some talks about defensiveness.
We’ve seen the fallout of defensiveness in a few struggling marriages of late and we are trying to be quick to notice and stall out any personal defensiveness of our own.
Yes, it’s hard to listen when someone says you are doing something wrong or hurtful, but really how are we going to grow in our marriages if we are not willing to listen to those hard messages?
Listening doesn’t mean you agree. It just means you are willing to examine the situation. Talk about the dynamics of the situation and brainstorm how each of you could act differently. (Sometimes neither of you is right or wrong, sometimes you are just dealing with differences. It never hurts to find helpful workarounds.)
Ask your husband to help you build a relationship where you can talk about the difficult things and tenderly effect a solution.
I am persuaded that love and humility are the highest attainments in the school of Christ and the brightest evidences that He is indeed our Master. John Newton
♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you and your husband deal graciously with faults, mistakes, and differences.
Do you have a list of things your husband has done wrong? You have a rough day or you find socks on the floor and out comes your go-to list of things that irritate you.
Why not replace it with a list of things he does right or well?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t address things that need to change. I’m saying it’s better for your sanity and your marriage if your go-to list is positive.
Pause right now and list three things your husband does that blesses you. Now go write them down. It’s the start of your new go-to list.
If you think well of others, you will also speak well of others and to others. From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. If your heart is full of love, you will speak of love. Mother Teresa
♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you have a positive go-to list.
♥ The Forgiven Wife: Be a Groupie We need the encouragement and counsel of other believers.
♥ Life Of Joy: My Bullet Journal is Helping Me Be More Productive A window into one woman’s use of a bujo.
Do you and your husband know each other’s passwords?
Give your spouse access to all you do on your phone and online. It’s a safeguard and a trust builder.
Honesty is the highest form of intimacy. Author Unknown
♥ Prayer Prompt: Ask God to help you and your husband be open about your tech use.
♥ Intimacy in Marriage: Sexual Playfulness in Your Marriage: 3 Rules to Live By Add a little playfulness.
♥ The Generous Husband: How Our Stuff Steals our Time Have less, live more.