The Sexual Revolution Redux

August 17, 2013

Published on Transformed Magazine (no longer available on site)
by Lori Byerly

The Sexual Revolution Redux

I’m deeply tired of seeing women messed over by the current sexual attitudes of our culture.

Single folks have all the fun.  Married sex is dull and infrequent.  The media tells us to be good (and preferably kinky) lovers.  Mom tells us sex is dirty.  We’re supposed to put out when we’re dating and be a virgin on our wedding night.  We’re surrounded by images of half naked women (you must be young, thin and perfectly beautiful to be sexy!) and after three kids we have stretch marks, love handles and saggy boobs (does this mean we are no longer sexy?). 

It’s so not fair.  It’s so not sane.

I think it’s time to stage a coup.  Let’s stand against the current “government of thought” and radically change the way we view and live out our sexuality.  Let’s make some waves in our culture, our families and our churches. 

How to begin?

OK, so we are sitting in the trenches, what do we do?  I think it starts with us.  Let’s begin to speak the truth to ourselves.  Let’s give ourselves permission to toss the lies and embrace the truth.

  • God created you as a sexual being.  Whether you are old or young, shapely or skinny, whatever, you are inherently sexual.  God gave women a natural grace and beauty.  Love the skin (shape) you are in.
  • God designed sex for marriage.  Embrace that knowledge.  If you have past sexual sin, ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself.  Enjoy the marriage you are in.
  • Sex is good.  God created our sexual organs (and the rest of our magnificent bodies) and God’s creation of man and woman was “very good.”  Sex is fun, comforting, intimate, exciting and (let’s be downright honest) it feels really, really good.
  • God wants you to enjoy sex.  Yes, really He does.  He delights when you enjoy the good He has created.   How sad when we don’t enjoy a beautiful sunset, the sound of a sweet melody or the wonderful sensuality of sex.  God created it all.  Enjoy His gifts.
  • You can learn to be a great lover.  (I used to think this was a shocking thought.  If sex was dirty then being good at something dirty must be really bad.)  Read good books about sex and marriage (sex doesn’t happen in a vacuum).  Talk and share, ask questions, experiment, practice and then practice some more (most husbands don’t mind this at all).  

Growing in Strength, Making Waves

Going it alone is never a wise thing.  While it starts with us, we need to open up our efforts to the larger community of our families, churches and culture.  We can find strength and encouragement in relationship with others as well as benefit from the lovely synergy of ideas and effort that comes from groups.

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