Awhile back I spoke to a gentleman who felt rather overwhelmed by his wife’s honey-do list. It was a very long list and when he worked on her requests she added more. It was a never ending list that had him drowning in tasks.

How Long is Your Honey Do List? - Let's be reasonable and thoughtful about what we ask for.

I can see how that would feel quite overwhelming. It’s nice to be able to finish tasks and have a sense of accomplishment.

I had to think about that myself? How do I handle it when I need my husband’s help?

Am I considerate of his time and energy? Do I ask for a reasonable amount of his help? Are there things I can do myself? Do I acknowledge and encourage down time for him or do I always have something for him to do?

I know most of our guys are happy to help where they are needed. Let’s just be reasonable and thoughtful about what we ask for and how we approach them with our needs. Be sure to say thank you and appreciate his efforts.

Could you put me on your honey do list?  :)   Author Unknown


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you keep a reasonable honey-do list.


Marriage Gems: Monthly Date Night May be Marriage-Saving Research supports the importance of couple time with your man.


The Generous Husband: Did You Know Socks Are Sexy? Wear socks for better sex!


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Past Sexual Sin?

October 3, 2016

in the generous life

You know God forgives, right?

Have you forgiven yourself?

Many women struggle with guilt over past sexual sins (and it continues to impact their marriage). Perhaps it’s sex before marriage (with hubby or someone else) or you regularly looked at porn. Maybe you were attracted to another man or you had an actual physical affair.

Past Sexual Sin? - Don't let it hang on and ruin your current sexual life with your husband.

Please don’t continue to walk in ongoing guilt and self-condemnation.

Grab your hubby or a good friend and talk/pray through your sexual history. Don’t let it hang on and ruin your current sexual life with your husband.

You are forgiven.

Jesus stood up and said to her (a woman caught in adultery), “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”  She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”  John 8:10-11  ESV (parenthesis mine)


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you come clean about sexual sin, receive forgiveness, and build a healthy, happy sexual life with your husband.


The Forgiven Wife: As Bad as Porn? Must read post about sexually explicit romance novels.


Messy Marriage: Encourage Conversation with a Disengaged Spouse Let your husband enter into the relationship in his own way and time.


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Prayer Meet Up

October 2, 2016

in the generous life

It’s the first Sunday of the month and time for a cyber prayer meeting!

Prayer Meet Up - Join us for a cyber prayer meeting.

Please pause right now and pray for all the gals represented by The Generous Wife list (feel free to add in the marriages of family and friends too!). Pray for blessing, wisdom, and protection. As you pray, please also pray specifically for each couple’s holiday plans and their couple time.

If you have any personal prayer requests, feel free to leave them as a comment to this post (this is a public forum, so be discreet and kind).

We tend to use prayer as a last resort, but God wants it to be our first line of defense.  Oswald Chambers


Prayer Prompt Please pray for all the marriages represented by The Generous Wife list.


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I was reading through the comments from the previous giveaway and was delighted with the variety of answers. Generous wives everywhere shared about the activities they enjoy with their husbands. It’s a pretty impressive list.

So I decided to compile all the ideas in one place for everyone’s benefit.

Y’all are an active bunch …

walking, hiking
running (marathons)
bike riding
going to a trampoline park 
working out together
target shooting
playing tennis
riding motorcycles
rock climbing

And playful too …

Pokemon Go
video games
watching cartoons/anime
fantasy football
board games, card games
jigsaw puzzles

Ideas for Building Friendship from Generous Wives Everywhere

You’re creative …

sewing, crafts
working on antique cars
home improvement projects
going to yard sales, flea markets, thrift stores
cooking together
DIY projects
renovation projects
organizing a room together
sharing household chores and yard work

Out and about …

driving around
shopping, window shopping
running errands together
escape rooms
live theater
dining out (restaurants, coffee shops, ice cream shops)
looking at houses to see what you like, don’t like
visiting local attractions
shared music experience (concerts, musicals, live theater, singing in the church choir)
shared art experience (painting together)
wine tasting
volunteering together (children’s ministry, food pantry, Bible studies)
service projects and hospitality ministries
taking a class together (yoga, first aid, disaster preparedness)

At home …

reading together
pursuing shared interests (like architecture)
watching YouTube for educational videos and preaching
watch a TV series (make out during commercials)
watch movies
watch baseball games
watch football games
pray together
using conversation prompts for discussion
hanging out with friends and family

A bit of advice for those who can’t find common hobbies …

do your individual hobbies in the same room
share about individual hobbies, what you’re reading, what you learn online

Look through the list and see if there are a couple of things you might like to try with your hubby.


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find several activities you can do regularly with your husband.


The Romantic Vineyard: Make The Most Of Ordinary Days Plan a little fun.


To Love, Honor & Vacuum: 8 Things We Learned Getting Rid of Half Our Stuff Keep the stuff you love and use.


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{ 1 comment }

firstfightI’m always looking for good books to share. I look for books that relate to the different areas of marriage hoping to find resources that will encourage us all.

Recently a publicist sent me a new devotional. I like it because it consists of 52 small chapters. That means you get to soak in a marriage concept for a whole week. It also seemed to be “guy friendly” and the questions in each chapter are good questions (not fluffy).

Love at First Fight by Carey and Dena Dyer

Here’s what they have to say about it.

In Love at First Fight, the Dyers share 52 meditations, each one featuring “He Said, She Said” stories from their own marriage, Scripture, a prayer, action ideas called “Take off the Gloves,” and inspirational quotes from other married couples. They cover myriad of topics related to marriage including how to support the others interests, what to do when you’re in a rough patch, what it really means to stick together “in sickness and in health,” how to deal with background differences, what spiritual leadership looks like, sexual issues, getting older, and many more.

While the meditations can be read in any order, the Dyers designed the book to follow the trajectory of their marriage, from issues they encountered before they got married to the naive newlywed years, the ups and downs of building a family, through a period of despondency and desperation, to the joy and renewed commitment they enjoy today.

What that means is you can pick up a copy today and you don’t have to wait for January first to start reading it. It’s a jump in and go devotional. 

Here’s the giveaway part …

A few days ago a generous wife posted, “Hey everyone, This year I am in charge of our 3rd year anniversary on October 12th, and I would love some ideas for a treasure hunt for him.”

What a great idea to use in a giveaway!

Please share your treasure hunt ideas as a comment to this post and on October 7th I’ll randomly pick a number and the poster in that spot will win a copy of Love at First Fight.


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find books and other resources that can help you grow in your marriage skills.


Encourage Your Spouse: Ideas Lift Conversations Make your conversations more interesting and meaningful.


Hot, Holy & Humorous: It Takes As Long As It Takes We are all unique. Offer grace.


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(originally posted September 6, 2013)

Holidays are a mixed blessing.

Celebrating can be so sweet. The memories build so much good in our sense of family and belonging, but then there are also the difficult memories (that embarrassing Thanksgiving fight) and painful loses (this will be the first Christmas without grandma).

The Good and Bad of Holidays - Be aware of those days and seasons that are difficult for you and your husband.

As the holidays approach, be aware of those days and seasons that are difficult for you and your husband. Talk about how you can navigate the difficulties and pray for healing. Don’t be afraid to adjust or say no to certain situations and generally simplify your holidays (both involvements and projects). Do what is good for the health of your marriage and family.

I’m reminding y’all of this early so that you can get a jump on this. Think it through and have a game plan in place before you get the invitations and deal with others’ expectations.

(One of my favorite traditions is to create a “we remember you” ornament for those loved ones who are now gone. Harvard Homemaker: 17 Ways Your Ornaments Can Bring Meaning to Your Tree)


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you where there are tender spots to be guarded.


Encourage Your Spouse: Happy Friday – Start a new tradition! What are you thankful for this week?


Gary Thomas: What Your Husband May Never Tell You (and one thing every husband needs to do accordingly) His sexual temptations and struggles are fundamentally different than yours. Yes, it’s true.


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I have a treat for you today. Sharon (from Marriage Essentials) is our guest author today. Thanks, Sharon, for your words of encouragement.

I was reflecting back to a question I hear quite often, when someone learns Kevin and I have been married for over 39 years, “How do you stay married to one person that long?”

Sharon and Kevin

I laugh in my heart as I think, one person? Was not that the way it was designed? You mean I could have walked away at any point, when things were tough?  :)  The answer always goes back to commitment… and don’t believe your own reviews, because nobody is perfect and we all have faults.

Always know that the grass is NOT greener on the other side. It just appears that way because you are standing afar off. When you begin to walk on it, it is then when you’ll see spots.

Marriage is an investment. Not just with funds, but time. Take what we have and work with it. Just like a house. We don’t move out because we have a leak in the roof.

You've Been Married How Many Years?! - Marriage is a lifelong investment.

It’s called maintenance. Generally speaking, when something is broken in the house we fix it. If it’s more than you can handle you call in the experts. In our home Kevin always calls in the professionals, he doesn’t try to repair anything himself, and I appreciate him knowing his limits.

Now contrasting that to our actual house, when Kevin and my marriage had been broken, we would try very hard to fix it and often we were successful. However, there has been time when we had to call in the professionals.

I say to anyone, on that special day that is so very beautiful, your wedding day, go into it as you are making an everlasting home for the two of you. Pay close attention to the vows.

We must consciously plan to make it last till death do us part. Work hard at it, just as we would our education, jobs and the other valuable entities of our lives. There will come a day when it will be just you two sitting around the fireplace, reminiscing.

Make plenty of great, joyful memories, work hard to overcome trials, just as one would continue to move the logs around in the fireplace, so the flames don’t die, tender the time you spend together, so your marriage can continue to blaze and not sit as ashes as you reminisce on what could have been.

First, love, then commitment, and last, but not least work, work and work a bit more, never giving in and never giving up… and then the day will come for you when someone will ask,” How in the world do you stay married to one person that long?”

Sharon Verrett, who’s originally from New Orleans, Louisiana, now residing in Charleston SC., is a firm believer in “re-inventing yourself” and the fact of, “anything you, truly, strive to do can be accomplished,” including a successful marriage.

Sharon Verrett of Marriage EssentialsSharon was a Surgical Technologist, for twenty years, today she’s a Cosmetologist, part-time, a writer having written her first book on friends and relationships, Just Between Friends, and a blogger.

Sharon’s central base is God. She and her husband have spent plenty of time over the years in church marriage seminars and fellowships. Now, after over thirty-nine years of marriage, she’s decided to try to help others overcome some of the bumps and view the good in marriage, through writing her recent blog, Marriage Essentials. Sharon wants to help others learn the difficult task of respecting other’s positions, as she has learned to do over the years.

When she’s not worshiping, spending time with her husband, working, and writing, she’s relaxing, enjoying time with her children and grandchildren. Sharon also loves eating out and traveling.

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.  Proverbs 24:3-4 ESV


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you and your husband a stick-to-it attitude in your marriage.


The Romantic Vineyard: The Healing Balm of Humility in Marriage Read about this powerful acrostic.


To Love, Honor and Vacuum: My Husband Spends More Time with Friends Than with Me! Practical suggestions for a difficult situation.


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