Yesterday I talked about saying “yes” more often to your husband.

I get that saying “no” feels powerful.

But think about it for a minute. The choice to say “no” and the choice to say “yes” really have the same amount of power. It is the power of your choice. You get to choose.

Don’t let the momentary need to feel in charge run over the possibilities and opportunities both to bless and enjoy your sweetie. Before you choose, consider what will be the fruit of “yes” and what will be the fruit of “no”? 

Sometimes you legitimately need to say “no.” We have limits of time and energy. But many times our “no” is a knee jerk reaction to others and our need to have some control in our lives.

Slow down, think it through, and let the power of “yes” be a huge blessing to your husband (and to you too!)

Enjoy the adventure of generosity.  Judah Smith

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you explore the beauty of “yes.”

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The XY Code: When We Understand Share your reality to avoid misunderstandings.

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Assume Love: How to Get Your Husband to Do Something Nice perspectives.

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Say Yes!

July 6, 2015

in the generous life

The next time your husband suggests something … say yes!*

Sounds a bit risky? Think about the consequences of saying no.

Say yes to adventure.  Author Unknown

(* I’m not talking about things that are obviously sinful. Always say no to sin.)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you grow more flexible and adventurous with your husband.

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howsyourlovelife: Crazy About You Let him know how special he is. (Love this story.)

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Do Not Disturb: Guest Post: The Benefits of Pay For Sex With a title like that, you have to click on it. smile

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Two for One

July 5, 2015

in the generous life

Can you list a few things that trouble you about your marriage?

May I suggest a challenge? For every problem you list, find two things that are good about your husband or your marriage.

Yes, deal with the problems, but allow yourself to focus more on the good than the bad.

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.  Winston Churchill

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you build a large list of husband and marriage positives.

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Fundraiser ending July 17th: We’ve made 78% of our $15,000 goal. Total donors 282. Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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Lovely

July 4, 2015

in the generous life

The next time you are in a department store, check out the fragrances.

Buy a scent you like that you think hubby might like as well.

The fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.  Song of Songs 4:11b  NIV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see yourself as feminine and lovely.

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(in)courage: What Are You Missing I need to pay more attention to those care packages from God.

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The XY Code: What Sexual Generosity Means to a Man Being sexually generous can change a heart, can change a life, can change a marriage.

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From The Generous Wife archive:

Life has a way of shaping our perspectives and that colors how we see our husbands (like colored glasses). We color what they say or do with our understanding of who we believe them to be.

That’s pretty normal, but we need to be careful not to color them wrongly or keep them so tied to our perspectives that there is no room for change.

Here are a few phrases I’ve heard over the years.

He’ll never amount to much.
My husband will take care of that.
All he wants is sex.
He never listens to me.
The best men are like my father.

Some of the lenses may seem a little good, but be careful because they may play out poorly in real life (your husband can be a really great guy even if he is nothing like your father).

The clearly destructive lenses are … well, destructive. They cause us to push our sweeties into a box that is not theirs (he really does want you for more than sex). And when the lenses are true, even then we may need to set them down and free our spouses to change (he can learn to listen).

What thoughts run through your head when you think about your husband? Have any of these thoughts become lenses that color how you see your husband? Do you need to set any of them down?

Do not expect the world (or husbands!) to look bright, if you habitually wear gray-brown glasses.  Charles William Eliot (parenthesis mine)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see your husband the way He sees him.

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The Generous Husband: Discuss Actions, Not Character Something to discuss with hubby.

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Love Hope Adventure: How to Develop a Bedroom Language And Why You Should Just one more kind of intimacy for husband and wife.

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You know how most libraries have story hour? Usually it’s for the kiddos, but there are book groups for adults as well.

Why not create a story time of your own for you and hubby once or twice a week? Take turns reading or let the the most comfortable reader run with it. Read fiction or non-fiction about something that interests you both.

A book is a device to ignite the imagination.  Alan Bennett

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband find interesting books to share.

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howsyourlovelife: Get Off the Monkey Bars Toss busyness and be engaged in the present.

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The XY Code: Get A Joint Hobby Most men are more comfortable talking while doing something.

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Many Thanks

July 1, 2015

in the generous life

For the past few months, Paul and I have been running a fundraiser to help us get on the road traveling the US in an RV.

We were given a fifth wheel and a friend helped us get a very good deal on a truck. Since then we have been working on them both getting them road worthy and setting up house.

This is a picture of us when we picked up the fifth wheel. We have used the funds to fix and build this new home. We bought a new awning, built drawers in the bed frame, and made a standing desk unit where our computers live. Paul has spent hours on top of and under the RV going over all the household systems. The truck has been cared for and given new tires (the old ones were a bit scary).

We have the very basics for what we need and will be able to make our deadline for heading out September 20th (though we hope to take a couple of small trips over the summer to practice a bit).

Y’all have given generously and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for your donations, prayers, and encouraging words (I love all the little notes that came with the donations). I hope to meet many of you over coffee as we travel (though I could be talked into tea with chocolate cake).

We will be ending our fundraiser on July 17th. If you’d like to help us finish up our wish list, please click here for giving info. We will post our travel route on The Generous Journey.

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!  1 Chronicles 16:34  ESV

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Prayer Prompt Please pray for Paul and me as we set out on our God adventure.

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Journey to Surrender: Faith, Hope & Love Part 5 – The Greatest is Love Build a marriage that sustains love.

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Intimacy in Marriage: Are Friends Destroying Sex in Your Marriage? Marriage positive friends are a blessing.

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