Should

August 12, 2014

in the generous life

In thinking about yesterday’s post about making room for each other’s differences, it reminded me to warn y’all about the word “should.”

When you use that word you are adopting a standard and expecting someone else to meet that standard (as in “you should like the Broncos”). If it’s not an ultimate truth (like “we should speak the truth in love”), you are talking about values and preferences that may or may not work for your husband.

Keep an eye on your words and look for the word “should.” Do you mean “should” or do you really mean “I would like for you to [whatever]“?

Remember … it’s OK to be different. It doesn’t make one of you right and the other wrong.

Vive la différence!  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt Pray for the grace to allow your husband to be different.

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The Forgiven Wife: He Only Wants Me for Sex Act on what you know to be true.

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Calm Healthy Sexy: 12 Ways to Add Some Adventure to Your Marriage We all need a little adventure.

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There’s the tendency to think that the way we do things is “right” and that leads to,”If I am right … you must be wrong.” Talking that up with your man leads to arguments and ends in a lot of hard feelings.

On the flip side, there is also the self protective stance we take when our spouses emphatically declare their views are right (does that make us wrong?).

People are different. They have different perspectives, life experience and preferences. For the most part it’s not about right and wrong (though there are some absolute truths), it’s about what works for each of us.

Make room for your differences and your hubbie’s differences and try not see them as bad or wrong, but something to be accommodated when possible. So what if you don’t like tomatoes and your husband is a Seahawks fan. Serve him up the tomatoes and cheer for your favorite team.

Not wrong, just different.  Emerson Eggerich

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Prayer Prompt Pray for patience as you and your husband navigate your differences.

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Refine Us: 11 Signs You’re Settling for an Ordinary Marriage Watch out for marital drift!

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: 5 Tips for Choosing Summer Sleepwear–for Moms Great guidelines for picking nighttime wear (there are pictures of real women modeling modest nightwear, very tasteful).

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Image courtesy of pakorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Create Margin

August 10, 2014

in the generous life

The last couple of weeks have been pretty crazy for us. Paul is developing a site for a friend, our extended family had a garage sale in our driveway and TWO major storms swooped through our area and TWICE left us in the dark for many hours.

We’re both a little tired, but because we have created a fair amount of margin in our lives, we actually survived it all without too much fuss (we already had several blog posted cued and ready to go, so we didn’t panic when the lights went out). We enjoyed helping a friend, hanging with family and generally relaxing into the unusual events (I love watching storms).

I can’t recommend “margin” enough.

Simplifying your life a bit, planning ahead, and generally giving yourself time to get the important stuff done is an amazing way to live. It makes it possible to survive the twists and turns and bumps of life with a certain amount of calm. It’s makes relationships kinder and more gracious.

What can you do to simplify your life? What can you get done today that will make tomorrow easier?

Here are a couple of my favorite “margin” resources.

Margin is the opposite of overload.  Richard Swenson

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you set sane limits on work and make time for the important people and things in your life.

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Image credit © Kennosuke | Dreamstime.com

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Ask your husband what parts of your home are his favorite places.

It’s a good investment to keep those spots hubby friendly. Perhaps ask him how you can make them even better.

The light is what guides you home, the warmth is what keeps you there.  Ellie Rodriguez

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Prayer Prompt Pray for a sense of peace and comfort in your home.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: I Think My Sister’s Husband is Controlling / Abusive Practical wisdom for a difficult situation.

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Too Darn Happy: Are you living like you are dying? The life you have left is a gift.

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My Sweet

August 8, 2014

in the generous life

What do you call your husband? Sweetie? My love? 

I’ve heard folks call their spouse by unflattering nicknames. Not a good plan. 

Try out a few new names and make sure they are positive. Words really do have significant impact and you want you spouse to feel loved and special. (If your guy has a great sense of humor, it’s OK to have funny nicknames, just keep them positive.)

Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body. Proverbs 16:24 ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Pray that your husband would hear love and respect in your choice of words.

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(in)courage: Why You Don’t Have To Win Do you really need to win that argument?

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Are you shopping online this week? Please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won’t change your purchase price, but I will receive a small commission.

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Love’s Color

August 7, 2014

in the generous life

From the Generous Wife archive:

What’s your husband’s favorite color?

Buy or make something in that color as a little gift for him. (I picked yellow flowers (the ones my husband likes) from my garden and put them on the kitchen table.)

Everybody needs a little color.  Mark Herman

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for ideas on how to add color and beauty to your home.

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The Generous Husband: Care of Aging Parents Keep your marriage strong during this difficult season.

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Stupendous Marriage: How Remembering Can Improve Your Marriage Visualize past successes.

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Image credit © Lori Byerly

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It’s amazing what we communicate with our body language. Crossing your arms can mean withdrawal, turning away may mean disinterest and so on.

When you are spending time with your husband, be sure to communicate openness and interest.

Turn toward him when you talk. Lean in now and then. Watch those crossed arms! Let him know that he is appreciated and wanted.

As the tongue speaketh to the ear so the gesture speaketh to the eye.  King James I

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you remain soft and open toward your husband.

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The Forgiven Wife: Date Night, Anywhere If they can do date night, surely we can too!

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1-Minute Bible Love Notes: The Only Opinion Shades of Grey and discerning right from wrong.

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Image courtesy of Vichaya Kiatying-Angsulee / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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