How Many Kisses?

October 9, 2014

in the generous life

When your husband is busy (but not with anything terribly important), give him a little kiss. A couple of minutes later give him another kiss. Wait a couple of minutes for another little kiss. 


See how many kisses it takes before he figures out you want more.

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.  Mistinguett


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you how to bless your husband sexually.


Refine Us: The Secret Sauce to a Great Marriage You don’t have to wait for a crisis before pursuing the marriage you desire.


Happy Wives Club: 7 Easy & Fun Date Ideas You Should Do This Weekend More ideas to put on your date night to-try list.


Image credit © Gabriel Blaj |


What kind of lighting do you have in your bedroom?


Basic lighting is good (you don’t want to run into things), but there are so many lighting options that can give you a little romantic ambiance.

twinkle lights
paper lanterns
a dimmer on your nightstand light
(mirrors to reflect light)

What lighting options do you find fun or romantic?

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.  Aaron Rose


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you how to make your bedroom a special place for you and your husband.


Here are a few bloggers who have taken on the CMBA challenge ~ marriage wisdom from family.

Stupendous Marriage: Lessons From 40 Years of Marriage
The Forgiven Wife: Louder Than Words
The Generous Husband: Words and Wisdom: Family


Holly Gerth: You’re Already Accepted “Real friends tell you when you have something in your teeth.”


Image courtesy of foto76 /


Fancy That

October 7, 2014

in the generous life

Going out for a cheeseburger? Take a few moments to pretty up or go all out and dress up to make the outing special.

Hubby can dress up and join in, or not. It’s mostly about having some fun and giving your husband a little eye candy. 

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.  James H. Boren


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you inject a little fun and romance into everyday life.


(in)courage: When You Feel Like Damaged Goods “Other’s preferences and decisions to choose or reject us, don’t define our worth ~ Jesus does. And He chooses us every time.”


Encourage Your Spouse: My Husband Told Me To Get Out Very interesting post. I’m going to have to ruminate about how it applies to me. Yes, very interesting.


Image credit © Graphic79 |


Goodness, I missed the first Sunday of the month cyber prayer meeting!

Let’s take a moment to pray for all the marriages represented by The Generous Wife blog.

Gals follow by email, RSS feed, Twitter, and Facebook. Posts are shared by friends, in church bulletins and more. There are a lot of us the world over. Different nations, cultures, ages, life seasons, but we are all women looking to see our marriages grow stronger and more lovely.

Please pray for those who are struggling with infidelity, for those facing an empty nest, and for those who are in financial difficulty. Ask for grace, growing intimacy, and creative date nights. Pray for help over every stress and ask for every blessing you can think of. I figure if we all pray, we’re likely to cover all the possibilities.

Every time I have had a breakthrough in my life, it has been because of Prayer.  John Maxwell


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to bless the marriages of generous wives everywhere. (It’s OK to add the marriages of your friends too!)


Intimacy in Marriage: Marriage is Easy. Said No One Ever. Three things to ponder.


The Forgiven Wife: When There’s a Chipmunk in Your Marriage (Must read cuteness.) Remember to tend your marriage.


Image credit © Anett Kneifel |



I’m a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Assoc. and during the month of October there is a weekly blogging challenge. This week we’re being asked to write about “words and wisdom that we have received from family members.”

This is a difficult challenge for me. My family didn’t talk much about marriage, relationships or sex (and I rarely saw extended family). My parents ended up divorcing my first year of college and their marriage was marked by significant tensions.

I think the one thing I can point to is something my father did ~ he exhibited genuine grace.

(I’m the little one on the right. Gee, I wonder where my love of books came from.)

I watched him try to love us all where we were (regardless of how great or messy we were being at the moment). I knew that I was loved and that love was more than a few cheap words. He modeled a Christ-like love and grace that has impacted my life and eventually my marriage.

Offering that tenderness, forgiveness and thoughtfulness that comes with real grace may not save every marriage, but it is a necessary building block for those that survive and thrive.

If you are looking for something to encourage you in this area, you may wish to read Grace Filled Marriage by Dr. Time Kimmel.


Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, and patience, forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love …  Colossians 3:12-14a  ESV


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about His kind of grace and how it can impact your marriage.


Image credit © Lori Byerly


My husband just wrote a post ~ “Who is this Paul guy?” (Sometimes it helps to know a bit about the blogger you’re following.)

Well, I thought I might do something similar. I’m using his headings, plus one.

Location, location location: I live in Washington state in a small town (thankfully near a big city where they have a Michaels’s and Hobby Lobby). The countryside is beautiful, tall trees, majestic mountains and (lots of) snow in the winters (here’s a view from my kitchen window).

Marriage: Yes, I am. I’ve been married to Paul for coming up on 30 years (our anniversary is in January). We started out pretty rocky, but we are both fairly stubborn so we kept at it until we had addressed our more serious issues and learned to live well with each other. This is at the heart of our desire to serve others in the area of marriage. We know the hurt, the struggle and the fragile hopes for something better. (Yes, I squint when I smile. I’m also very talented in the “eyes closed” category. I could win awards.)

History with God: I grew up in a border-line cult (they had the Gospel, but a fair amount of other questionable doctrine). Thankfully, as a child, I just caught the Gospel message and grew up knowing about Jesus. In my teen years I went exploring. I looked into just about every religion out there, but God loved me, caught me and drew me back to Himself. My husband and I have served in many ways – singles ministry, marriage ministry, music ministry, facilitating/teaching, landscaping, and more. We’ve done a stint in house church (love, love, love small groups) and are now a part of a number of expressions of church (from our local community church to study groups to small accountability groups). We figure we gather with other believers and He shows up. It’s all good.

Christian: My husband had this section because he gets fussy over the term. So many people call themselves “Christian,” but don’t really know Jesus or live as His disciple. I’m OK with being called a “Christian”, but I’m OK with “follower of Jesus” too.

Offspring: I have a daughter from my previous marriage and a son. Both are parents (my son’s first child is due in November), so I’m reveling in the role of grandma.  :) 

Employment: I’ve done a bit of this and a bit of that. Bookkeeping, secretarial work, conference work, writing, website and graphic design and more. In most of my jobs, I’ve just figured out a way to get done what needs doing. Presently I’m a marriage blogger/educator/coach and bookkeeper (and whatever else needs getting done).

What I do for fun: I love gardening and anything creative (crocheting, cross stitch, Zentangle). I enjoy hanging out with friends and traveling.

What I read: Most of my time gets spent on marriage books and books about spiritual concepts, though the occasional mystery novel finds its way to my house.

What I eat: There is an amazingly good Thai restaurant in our little town. I also enjoy seafood and Mexican and … well, I’m just not that picky. Chocolate, of course, is a favorite.

Pets:  We currently have a Rhodesian Ridgeback named Widget. He’s adorable (and somewhat spoiled) and makes our life interesting (he thinks we are a pack). This picture was taken after a particularly bad storm. We had a few limbs down, but thankfully no real damage.

Why “The Generous Wife”?: Generosity was a theme that God wove into my life at a time when my marriage was getting stronger. I was growing in my ability to trust God and being generous created a jump into greater intimacy for Paul and me. I’d love for other couples to have the same jump in their marriage.


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband know each other better.


Intimacy in Marriage: Emotionally Destructive Marriages and What You Need to Know Must read post. Please take the time to watch to the video (if not for yourself, to become educated for your friend in need).


(in)courage: Thought Loops and How Security Changes You Focus on the One who keeps you safe.


Image credit © Lori Byerly


From The Generous Wife archive:

I don’t know about y’all, but I am daily inundated with information. Most of it is good stuff, really, but there is just so much of it.

What I’ve done to counteract the overload, is to pick one thing and practice it for a week. That way I’m not just reading ideas and tucking them on an already overloaded shelf in my mind. I’m actually thinking it through and learning to incorporate the idea into my life.

Whether it’s something as simple as saying “I love you” a few times in my day or something more complex as working kindness or generosity into my life, it helps to focus, slow the process and intentionally work it into my daily living.

I would encourage y’all to take a daily tip (or something from the links I share) and make it a practice for a week. See what changes it makes in your marriage relationship.

Some ideas are worth keeping for a lifetime.

Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice.  Anton Chekhov


Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you slow down and practice a needed change.


Managing Your Blessings: 3 Things Your Husband Feels About Sex – That You Might Not Know or Believe Great guest post from “J” of Hot, Holy & Humorous. I found it very encouraging.


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Image courtesy of phanlop88 /