When you go to bed, try slipping in on your husband’s side of the bed.

My Side, Your Side

You don’t have to stay there all night, you’re just doing something a little different to spark change and interest.

Be sure to wear a smile too.

My side! Your side! My side! Your side!  Stark from Farscape

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you look for small ways to shake up the usual.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: If the Sex is So Great, Why Aren’t You Satisfied? Build all parts of your marriage.

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Becoming Minimalist: A Simple Guide to Start Saving Money Start small and do-able.

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Stop It Before It Starts
(originally posted June 17, 2014)

So your husband says something that doesn’t make sense or borders on rude or insensitive.

You may have heard him correctly … or not. He may also just not have communicated well.

Stop It Before It Starts

Why not take a deep breath, calm yourself and ask a few questions. Listen and ask a few more questions. It’s amazing how many fights spin off a moment of poor communication.

Be proactive and stop these fights before they start.

Communication works for those who work at it. John Powell

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you use your pause button and give your man another chance.

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Unveiled Wife: An Open Letter To Friends Who Care More About My Marriage Than Our Friendship Be that friend.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Hidden Fears That Haunted Me Team up with your spouse to put the smack down on the enemy!

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When Paul and I speak to various groups we usually have some Q&A time. When we can, we like to split up by gender. Paul talks to the guys, I talk to the gals. After awhile Paul and I swap rooms and we give folks a chance to talk to someone of the same gender as their spouse.

We get a lot of “Why does my husband do this?” or “Why doesn’t my wife understand that?” It’s an interesting time of trying to understand gender differences.

One thing I hear over and over from the guys, and it bears repeating here, is that men want to be believed by their spouse when they say “You’re so beautiful.” I wish y’all could see the faces of these men and how they yearn to be heard and believed.

His Voice Counts

I got to thinkin’ about my own personal journey. I used to struggle big time. I never felt I met the cultural standards of beauty, therefore I was not beautiful.

I do remember receiving Paul’s compliments more gracefully when we were dating and first married. His voice was new, appreciated, and louder than cultural standards. 

When did his voice fade? When did the voices of my culture get louder and have more impact over what I believe? More importantly why in the world would I give more importance to a messed up culture and less to a person I love and trust?

I’m doing better, but there is still the pull to say something like, “When was your last eye exam?” instead of “Thank you. You’re looking pretty spiffy yourself!”

I encourage y’all to grow in this area also. Say thank you when your sweetie compliments you. Give his voice more weight. Care more about his words than the messages of our culture.

Beauty is what we see in the people we love and value.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you believe your husband’s words.

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Of the Hearth: Getting Time with Your Spouse When You Have No Babysitter for the Kids Practical ideas for that challenging season.

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Marc & Angel Hack Life: 5 Signs it’s Time to Do Less Busyness is an illness.

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What things has your husband talked about in the past that he no longer mentions?

Perhaps he had a dream and the busyness of life has pushed it off his plate. Perhaps he wanted something from you and after asking a few times gave up trying. Perhaps he’s facing a long term problem and he doesn’t want to worry you.

Not All Silence is Golden

Just because your man goes silent doesn’t mean the problem has been fixed, the desire has gone away, or the dream is no longer relevant.

Today is the day to reopen conversation. Ask gently. Be willing to apologize as needed. Encourage him to share.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.  Proverbs 13:12  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you hear and encourage the desires of your husband’s heart.

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The Forgiven Wife: A Perfectly Ordinary Moment What do those close to you see in your marriage?

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Life Of Joy: Introvert-Extrovert Couple Learning how to deal with your differences.

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Have you picked up any habits lately?

Helpful or Hurtful?

Do they help or hurt your marriage?

Lean into the helpful ones and nix the hurtful ones.

Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.  William James

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you grow marriage-helpful habits.

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Encourage Your Spouse: Being Approachable and Available in Marriage Let your spouse know how much you respect and value him.

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Life Of Joy: Personality Differences Know thyself.

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Life Verses

June 5, 2016

in the generous life

I was talking to a generous wife (thanks, L!) and she shared how her daughter-in-law (a very talented, creative gal) was going to paint her life verse for her on an old door as a decoration for her home.

I got to thinking about how lovely it is to have a life verse from the Word to encourage you.

Life Verses

Do you and your husband have verses that really speak to you? If so, why not print them up and frame there where you will see them often … or you could paint them on an old door.

My favorite verse: “… with God all things are possible.”  Matthew 19:26b  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to speak to you from His Word.

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When you have something tough to discuss with your man, it’s important to sound calm.

I realize tough discussions call up tough emotions, but the more worked up you get, the harder it is to communicate what’s on your mind or hear his response.

Calm Conversations

One trick is to go someplace that puts you in a calm space (a lovely park) or a place where you are more likely to stay calm (a private corner of a coffee shop).

Think through what you need to stay calm and work that around your tough conversations.

Calm is a super power.  AuthorUnknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about staying calm when conversations turn tough.

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Journey to Surrender: Change the Climate of Your Marriage: Time Together Be intentional. Don’t put your marriage on auto-pilot.

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Are you shopping online this week? Please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won’t change your purchase price, but I will receive a small commission.

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