From The Generous Wife archive:

Take a peak at your husband’s clothes.

Does he need new socks? A couple of new shirts? Perhaps something needs a bit of mending. Shoes need shining?

It’s a practical service, but guy’s like to look spiffy too!

If I stitch fast enough, does it count as aerobic exercise?  Author Unknown

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The Art of Simple: Why I argue in front of my kids (sometimes) Learn conflict skills that you can pass down to your kids.

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(in)courage: Friendship: A Piece of Cake Pursuit speaks love and care. (It’s an interesting idea to apply to your marriage.)

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Paul and I are donation supported. If you feel led to help, you can give to our support through The Marriage Bed, Inc. (tax deductible giving for US folks). Please mention “Paul & Lori” when donating through Paypal and JustGive. Thanks so much for your prayers and support.

Razoo   Paypal   JustGive

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At the end of each month I share what I’ve been reading (it so didn’t happen yesterday because I had a totally overwhelming week) and I’m a day late. But here they are …

This seemed to be a month of reading about women and women’s issues.

The Black Swan Effect by Felicity Dale and a host of others

Felicity has a heart to speak out about a number of issues, including women’s roles in the body of Christ. Her new book will be out in a couple of days and I snagged a preview copy. It’s a collection of articles by a group of folks (many of whom I know or have had the chance to talk to over the years at conferences) and a fair amount written by Felicity as well. So this book is fun for me. It’s like sitting in a room full of friends and listening to them share from their hearts.

The book is subtitled A Response to Gender Hierarchy in the Church. Whether you agree with the perspectives presented in the book or not, I think this is an important book. It reflects a movement in the church to better understand what the Bible says about women and their role in the body of Christ. The writers ask hard questions and make points that our usual pat answers about women don’t adequately answer. As we mature in our skills of studying the Bible and as we learn more about the culture and times in which it was written, we too need to examine what we believe and why.

Women and the Genesis of Christianity by Ben Witherington III

I will own up front that I loved this book. Sometimes I feel like a nut when it comes to my beliefs about women (I have areas of agreement and disagreement with egalitarians and complimentarians), so it was a real treat to read something that is closer to my own theology.

Witherington goes through the relationships Jesus has with various women and looks at how others addressed women in NT writings. It is a college text, so it’s a slow read, but it reveals the touching story of the love God has for His daughters.

When Others Shuddered: Eight Women Who Refused to Give Up by Jamie Janosz

A publisher sent this book to me and I was happy to read it. I am concerned that we don’t have enough models of strength and integrity for women. It was so encouraging to read about women who have done daring and hard things for the Lord. My only complaint about the book was that most of these women had messed up marriages. I don’t think women have to throw away their marriages to serve the Lord (the same is true for men).  If you love biographies, you will like the book, just don’t buy into their attitudes toward marriage.

The Principle of the Path by Andy Stanley

I really, really, really liked this book. It seems pretty simple on the surface, but the more I applied his general truth (direction – not intention – determines our destination) the more I realized there were areas in my life where I was just wishing and not really moving in the direction I wanted to go. It was a wake up call. I think this is one of those “everyone should read it” books.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

I read the Narnian Chronicles to my kids when they were younger and enjoyed the adventures. Though the stories were written for children, they are among my favorites and they make me hungry to spend time with “Aslan.” I will probably read The Horse and His Boy next (my favorite).

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero

I’m still reading and discussing this book with my weekly group. Two thumbs up. (my review) I’m also using his small devotional Daily Office. I like it because it keeps me focused (and he asks really good questions). I’ll probably go through it a couple of times and then look for similar books to work through in my quiet time.

What are y’all reading? I’d love to hear. Please feel free to share in the comments.

A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  Edward P. Morgan

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The Art of Simple: On Gratitude New and shiny doesn’t always equal happy.

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The Generous Husband: Marriage Destroyer: Separate Lives Developing two separate lives is the default in our culture.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Getting Comfortable Being Naked with Your Husband How to deal with your attitude and approach.

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Rub a Dub Love

March 31, 2014

in the generous life

All last week my left shoulder was killing me. I’m not sure what caused it, but, several pain patches and a number of shoulder rubs later, I’m back to normal (no jokes here). Gotta love my man. He took very good care of me.

I got to thinkin’ about massage as an expression of love and care.

Where does your husband hold tension? Has he strained any muscles? Is he worn out from his day?

Why not massage out the tension and rub in the love.

Touch was never meant to be a luxury. It is a basic human need. Irene Smith

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Life Your Way: 10 Ways to Choose Joy at the Start of Every Day Ever have one of those days?

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Leadership Couples: 10 Ways to Support Your Spouse When You’re the Co-Pilot Are you married to a leader, entrepreneur, or whirlwind (I have experience with this, can you tell?).

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Chris Brogan: Decisions are Dominos What decisions are you making without much thought? 

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Rest or Play

March 30, 2014

in the generous life

Invite your husband to “rest” or “play” with you today.

That might look like going for a walk, taking a nap, having conversation over coffee, making love or playing backgammon (to name a few options).

Take the time to connect and enjoy the day.

Sundays, quiet islands on the tossing seas of life.  S.W. Duffield

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One thing I commonly hear from guys is how absolutely blessed they are when their wives initiate lovemaking.

I try to remind wives to do that more often. I do understand it can be uncomfortable. It can feel awkward or scary and most of us don’t have a lot of practice doing it.

Bottom line ~ practice is the only way you get better at something and the better you get at it, the easier and more fun it gets.

If your husband routinely enjoys sex with you, asking him to have sex is going to be a delight for him. If your husband struggles with sex (for whatever reason), you may want to have a couple of conversations about it and discuss what are the best ways for you to ask for sex. Never be afraid to get professional help (have a doctor check out his health, talk to a counselor, etc.).

Be considerate about when you ask for sex. Is he extremely tired or hungry? Is he really short on time or inconvenienced by it in some way? (I know some men enjoy a quickie, just be sure he can get to work on time.)

Use simple words. Try, “Is this a good time for a little lovemaking?” Or you could leave a note in his lunchbag asking him to “meet you in the bedroom at 9pm for a little bedroom fun.” Hints or obscure ways of communicating are usually not a good choice.

You could also use an item or action as a signal that you are interested in sex. I’ve seen pillows with the word “Tonight!” on them. Everyday items work too, depending on where you put them (just make sure he understands the gesture, perhaps leave a note with it the first time or two).

Start simple and be very clear about what you want. Now go put a smile on your man’s face.

Love is the greatest gift when given. It is the highest honor when received. Fawn Weaver

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(in)courage: The Difference Your Words Make Look for opportunities to say kind words.

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The XY Code: Sacrifice in the Marriage Bed Invest now so your marriage is not sexually bankrupt when you are older.

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The Forgiven Wife: Crying Over Milk Toast Serve up deep comfort (love the last paragraph).

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What does your husband like to drink? Rich, hot coffee? Ginger ale? An ice-cold beer? A peppermint milkshake?

My husband and I are exploring flavored iced teas.

We are heading into warmer weather and we want to continue our tea adventure. Our first attempt is using flavored syrups (we know a restaurant supply store were you can get them on the cheap). I’ll let you know how that goes.

At any rate, it’s nice to have your husband’s favorite drinks handy. Be sure to make them a regular on your shopping list.

You can’t get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.  C.S. Lewis

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We are THAT Family: Take a 3 Day Marriage Challenge Reconnect with your man.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy: Real Food Strategy – Go Ahead and Make a Big Mess! Oh so practical and do-able.

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Unveiled Wife: How My Husband Found Out About My Secret Affair Healing can happen in the presence of truth.

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Seasonal Fun

March 27, 2014

in the generous life

As the seasons change (we’re moving into Spring, woohoo!), what new opportunities do you have for couple time with your husband?

For me, it’s working in the garden, going for walks and enjoying the evening by a recreational fire. I’m looking forward to those things.

Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”  Robin Williams

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Love and Respect: You Can Be Right, But Wrong… How you say it is important too.

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Holley Gerth: Remember Who You Really Are Sometimes we just need to be reminded.

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The Forgiven Wife: I’m Changing, but My Husband Doesn’t Seem to Notice Understanding his side of the healing journey.

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