A Sip or Two

April 7, 2015

in the generous life

Well, this is a first. :) Our winner for the Date Ideas giveaway is a generous husband. Congratulations, James! You are the 7th poster and winner of Mr. and Mrs. coffee mugs (or choice of book from the Marriage Book Library).

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From The Generous Wife archive:

What does your husband like to drink? Rich, hot coffee? Ginger ale? An ice-cold beer? A peppermint milkshake?

My husband and I are exploring flavored iced teas.

We are heading into warmer weather and we want to continue our tea adventure. Our first attempt is using flavored syrups (we know a restaurant supply store were you can get them on the cheap). I’ll let you know how that goes.

At any rate, it’s nice to have your husband’s favorite drinks handy. Be sure to make them a regular on your shopping list.

You can’t get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me.  C.S. Lewis

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you be aware of your husband’s favorites.

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The Forgiven Wife: Are you Traveling, Together or living side by side?

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Feel Beautiful: Dust Off Your Exercise Shoes! A practical encouragement.

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Life Happens

April 6, 2015

in the generous life

How do you handle unexpected change? Inconvenient events?

Your husband is going to be late because his boss gave him an extra project at the end of the day. Your son forgot his backpack at a friend’s house and needs the homework it contains. Your friend won’t be able to meet your for coffee this morning because she had a fender bender.

You can be cranky about it (I’ve done that more than a few times) or you can handle it graciously and kindly. Some things are out of folks’ control and some stuff happens because of carelessness or ignorance. Either way, it’s a reality you have to deal with. It’s a disappointment or an inconvenience to face.

I’m all for addressing problems (especially those reoccurring ones), but, as much as possible, try handling life’s happenings with a smile and a few kind words.

Persuade thyself that imperfection and inconvenience are the natural lot of mortals, and there will be no room for discontent, neither for despair.  Ieyasu Tokugawa

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help your face change and inconvenience with kindness.

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The Forgiven Wife: When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain Great list of helpful ideas.

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(in)courage: 5 Ways to Love the Home You Have It’s the little things that make a home more beautiful!

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It’s the first Sunday of the month and time for a cyber prayer meeting.

God wants us to talk to him about our needs. So please take a moment to pray about your marriage needs and then pray for the needs of other wives represented by this list.

As an interesting aside, I’ve started a prayer journal, writing down all the things I pray for and leaving room to write down how God responds.

It started with the book about George Müller I mentioned in the recent What I’m Reading and More post. That book has had a profound impact on my talks with God. 

George Müller took on the orphans of Bristol, England in the 1800’s and saw many miracles. He kept a detailed list of everything he prayed for as well as a detailed list of God’s provision for the needs of the orphanages he ran.

By journaling my prayers and His answers I am reminding myself of His faithfulness. Always a good thing.

I invite y’all to share your marriage needs as a comment to this post, but please also share your answered prayer. We have an amazing God. Let’s share the prayer needs and the good news.

I hope in God, I pray on, and look yet for the answer.  George Müller

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see His answer to your prayers.

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Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (donations of $2 to $5 dollars). We have received 46% of our $15,000 goal (from 205 donors). Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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Believe Him

April 4, 2015

in the generous life

When your husband compliments you in some way, believe him and say thank you.

When he says he appreciates something you’ve done, believe him and plan to do it again sometime.

In our culture, we women tend to minimize who we are and what we do. In our Christian culture we tend to think that humility involves turning down compliments and downplaying accomplishments (though I think biblically it’s having a right understanding of who you are and who God is).

What happens practically is we don’t own who we are and we squash our husband’s desire to express love and appreciation. That’s sad.

Let’s know ourselves and receive graciously our husband’s words.

Denial and deflection insults the giver … you’re saying that they don’t have good judgment, discernment, or taste, or that they’re insincere … you’re returning their kind words with an insult.  Brett and Kate McKay

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you have a right understanding of who He designed you to be and to receive your husband’s compliments well.

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Becoming Minimalist: What We Consume Determines The Lives We Live I love what this concept can do for your marriage. Bring about positive changes by the choices you make.

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Michael Hyatt: How Entrepreneurs Can Succeed at Work Without Blowing Up Their Marriages This post is written to couples where one of them is entrepreneurial, but many of the items on his list are good for every couple. Read and pick out the ones that speak to you.

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I have a treat for you today. Cassie of True Agape has written a post about respect. In our culture this is a challenging concept, but, lived out, it can have a powerful impact on our marriages.

Although it can be hard for us to do at times, we understand we should give love unconditionally to our husband. God unconditionally loves us and we are to do the same.

However, when we think about respect we often think about it being something that is earned. We might put conditions on showing respect. “Once he does ______ I will respect him.” Or “If he would just _____ I could respect him more.” Instead we are called to respect our man unconditionally just as we are called to love unconditionally.

In Ephesians 5:33 Paul states, “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

I believe it is stated in this way because Paul knew that the top needs for men and women are different. For women we need to be cared for and feel loved, but for men they need to feel respected.

This verse should challenge us to not only love our guys unconditionally, but to show them respect daily without conditions attached.

Thanks, Cassie, for encouraging us to learn about respect and grow in this area.

Gals, if this feels particularly challenging to you, ask your husband to talk with you about respect. What does respect look like to him? What feels respectful? Disrespectful?

Cassie Celestain is a wife, mom, runner and a marriage and family blogger at True Agape. She believes respect, trust, understanding and willingness creates happy marriages and families. She strives to keep those things the main focus in her daily life and wants to challenge others to do the same.

You can get her free 6 page “The Secret to Making your Husband Feel Loved” when you sign up for True Agape’s monthly newsletter.

She also has a special running this month on 20 at Home Dates. These are date plans that play into the different love languages and are designed to cultivate communication, intimacy and growth.

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find ways to show respect to your husband.

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Don’t forget to comment in the Date Ideas for Your City giveaway to enter to win Mr. and Mrs. coffee mugs (or the book of your choice from the Marriage Book Library). I’ll announce a winner on Monday April 6th.

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Intimacy in Marriage: Online Christian SEX Conference at GREAT PRICE Julie will be a part of an online conference (looks like an exciting line up of speakers). I love this use of technology!

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Hot Buttons

April 2, 2015

in the generous life

Years ago when I started posting on bulletin boards, I quickly learned there are just some words you don’t use unless you want people to fuss at you. I started calling those words and topics “hot buttons” and, from time to time, I would ask Paul to read something before posting just to make sure I wasn’t going to set people off (FYI: don’t ever bring up Hitler).

It’s important to speak the truth, but if you make people mad with careless words, they are not likely to hear you past their anger.

Husbands have “hot buttons” too. Maybe it’s mentioning his old girlfriend or the way he avoids his cousin. Perhaps it’s just a word he dislikes or being reminded of a time he failed.

Speak the truth gently and, certainly, address problems that need solutions. Just be aware there are better and worse choices of words. If you want to be heard and you want to encourage your husband, choose wisely.

Good words are worth much, and cost little.  George Herbert

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you to choose helpful and kind words.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Leave and Cleave: How Do You Leave and Cleave If He Won’t Leave? How to set boundaries with the in-laws.

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The Generous Husband: The Negative Side of Permission Reject those destructive permissions!

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One at a Time

April 1, 2015

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

When you have hard discussions with your husband, do you bring up “other stuff”? You know, the time he didn’t stand up for you with his mother and how he always leaves the toilet seat up?

May I propose a perspective?

Bringing up multiple issues tends to cloud the discussion.

Stay with one topic until you have understood each other and worked through to a plan of action. (If some of that “other stuff” really does bother you, treat each topic as a single issue and work through them one at time.)

One thing at a time (with lots of patience and grace).

Be like a postage stamp— stick to one thing until you get there.  Josh Billings

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stay focused and work through tough discussions.

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Encourage Your Spouse: What do you see when you look at your husband or wife? Your spouse is a gift – for you – from God.

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Intentionally Pursuing: Unlock Your Libido Bonny of OysterBed7 guest authors and has a giveaway of her new book Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation.

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