Time to Talk

March 8, 2015

in the generous life

Have you been meaning to talk to your husband about something? Don’t put it off too long. Make room for that discussion in the next couple of days.

It’s going to be a tough discussion? Try word pictures.

Think of something he knows and understands well (like basketball or Minecraft). Using concepts from what he does understand, share about your thoughts (like how you need to pretty up the basement or how you are struggling at church).

Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you communicate well, especially when it comes to the tough stuff.

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We have received 32% of our $15,000 goal in the Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee fundraiser (from 155 donors). Thanks, y’all,  for your generous support. 

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Play Time

March 7, 2015

in the generous life

What kind of interests and hobbies does your husband have?

How can you encourage and support him in his play?

You don’t have to join him (but you could). Encourage him to take a class. Perhaps learn the lingo. Is there something he needs or wants? Buy it for the next holiday or “just because.”

Hobbies and all forms of play tend materially to renew our vitality.  Joseph Pilates

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for ideas in supporting your husband’s play (yours too!)

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Gary Thomas Answers Your Questions About A Lifelong Love Wisdom shared from the author.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: 5 Ways to Unlock Your Libido Guest author Bonny (of Bonny’s OysterBed7) shares some great perspectives about low libido.

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Checkpoints

March 6, 2015

in the generous life

Over time, I have created a few checkpoints that allow me to watch out for trouble in my marriage.

when I haven’t said “I love you” in a couple of days
when I’ve missed more that a meal or two with my sweetie
when I look for an excuse to say no to sex
when I’m more interested in Facebook than his face

Sometimes it’s just about busyness. The occasional season of this is OK (if I’m aware of it and intentionally move back to normal afterwards), but if it’s a drift thing, I know I need to make a plan to change what I’m doing and connect with my sweetie.

Mentally walk through your week. What signs in your marriage point to drift? What can you plan over the next few days to turn toward intimacy?

The quality of your commitments will determine the course of your life.  Ralph Marston

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find some checkpoints to keep you intimacy minded.

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(in)courage: Still Life This is one of the most encouraging pieces I’ve read in some time. You still have something to give.

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Refine Us: Four Choices That Will Improve Any Marriage Pick one or two to practice.

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Just One More

March 5, 2015

in the generous life

It’s easy to think you know your husband well. You’ve been together awhile, shared so many thoughts, shared so many miles. The problem with this is, it’s natural to start acting and speaking on assumptions (which can be messy, confusing, and even hurtful).

Truth is, we are all growing and changing. It takes a certain amount of effort to stay current. 

May I encourage y’all to look for opportunities to ask questions in conversation and then … ask just one more.

It’s that one extra question that can draw out something new, something you didn’t know. Maybe even something he didn’t know because he hadn’t taken the time to frame it with words.

The important thing is not to stop questioning.  Albert Einstein

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stay aware and open to changes in your husband.

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howsyourlovelife: Every Thing positive actions = positive benefits

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The Generous Husband: Routine Marriage Maintenance Get a regular check up.

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Always Right?

March 4, 2015

in the generous life

Do you need to be right all the time? Do you need to have all the answers? Is your way the right or best way at all times?

I’ve fallen into these traps a time or two. Trust me, they’ll wear you to a frazzle and put a dink in your relationships.

It’s OK to say, “I like your idea,” “I don’t know,” or “My preference would be …”.

Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?  (attributed to various authors, don’t know who said it first)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you relax in your humanity, listen to others, and love on them.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Top 10 Things I’d Say About Sex if I Had No Filter Another blogger takes up the challenge.

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Life Your Way: What are you waiting for? Use the good stuff today!

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I just finished reading The Unveiled Wife by Jennifer Smith (which is out today!). The book pulled me in very quickly (you can read the first chapter here). Jennifer shares her story with gracious transparency and I felt her pain and sense of helplessness. (The whole time I’m reading the book I kept shouting in my head, “Get help! Go for help!”) The joy of the story is watching her personal transformation, seeing their marriage turn the corner, and cheering when they find a solution to a significant sexual problem.

This is what Jennifer has to say about her book:

The Unveiled Wife Book came from the hardships I faced as a young wife. I felt isolated in my struggles, unsure of whether I could safely talk to anyone about the challenges of marriage. I sank deeper into isolation, away from God and my husband. Over the course of four years, my husband and I experienced a rollercoaster of a relationship which almost ended in divorce. But God saved us! 

The Unveiled Wife is about drawing closer to God and your husband despite circumstance. It is about unveiling the real you, letting down your walls so that intimacy can thrive in your most sacred relationships. I am confident wives will gain a deeper understanding of marriage and God’s desire for their hearts from diving into my life and the relatable message I share in this book.

Another major strength to this book is each chapter ends with overview thoughts and a number of amazing questions to work through. I would recommend this book literally to any wife (or wife-to-be), but especially those that are struggling.

 facebook   twitter   pinterest   instagram   youtube   google+

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And because I like the book so much, I’m offering a copy as the prize in this month’s giveaway.

Please leave a comment to this post with a bit of marriage advice. What has helped you as you walk through life with your husband?

I will pick a random number on March the 10th and the poster in that spot will win a copy of The Unveiled Wife (or the choice of a book from the Marriage Book Library).

I’m looking forward to reading all the marriage advice goodies.  :)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you sources of help and encouragement for your marriage.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 7 Ways to Feel More Attractive Let’s break this cycle of running ourselves down and start embracing and enjoying the way we look.

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Happy Wives Club: Top 35 Cheap & Creative ‘Just Because’ Gift Ideas For Him Ideas for a little “just because” lovin’.

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From The Generous Wife archive:

Many husbands work outside of the home.  They are accountable to a business and a boss or two.  Be aware of their responsibilities and stresses.  If you have to call them at work, try to call during break or lunch time and keep it relatively short and kind.

If your husband works at home, realize that it’s even more of a challenge to stay focused (yes, you are a lovely interruption, but he still has to get the work done).  Ask him what he needs from you and be intentional about giving him work space and time.

(As an afterthought, texting is far less intrusive than a phone call. He can take your message when it’s convenient for him. Do be careful about content, perhaps use code words if you are getting a bit sexy.)

The average American worker has fifty interruptions a day, of which seventy percent have nothing to do with work.  W. Edwards Deming

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you how to be supportive of your husband in his work day world.

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Modern Mrs. Darcy: 7 ways I’m minimizing decision fatigue in my daily life. Very smart.

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Ashley Willis: When a Husband and Wife Don’t See Eye to Eye How do you handle disagreements?

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We found a marvelous deal on a truck to pull our 5th wheel, so we are reducing what we need for our fundraiser to $15,000. With that in mind, we have received 25% of our goal in the Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee fundraiser (from 131 donors). Thanks for your generous support.

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