When Paul and I speak to various groups we usually have some Q&A time. When we can, we like to split up by gender. Paul talks to the guys, I talk to the gals. After awhile Paul and I swap rooms and we give folks a chance to talk to someone of the same gender as their spouse.
We get a lot of “Why does my husband do this?” or “Why doesn’t my wife understand that?” It’s an interesting time of trying to understand gender differences.
One thing I hear over and over from the guys, and it bears repeating here, is that men want to be believed by their spouse when they say “You’re so beautiful.” I wish y’all could see the faces of these men and how they yearn to be heard and believed.
I got to thinkin’ about my own personal journey. I used to struggle big time. I never felt I met the cultural standards of beauty, therefore I was not beautiful.
I do remember receiving Paul’s compliments more gracefully when we were dating and first married. His voice was new, appreciated, and louder than cultural standards.
When did his voice fade? When did the voices of my culture get louder and have more impact over what I believe? More importantly why in the world would I give more importance to a messed up culture and less to a person I love and trust?
I’m doing better, but there is still the pull to say something like, “When was your last eye exam?” instead of “Thank you. You’re looking pretty spiffy yourself!”
I encourage y’all to grow in this area also. Say thank you when your sweetie compliments you. Give his voice more weight. Care more about his words than the messages of our culture.
Beauty is what we see in the people we love and value. Author Unknown
Prayer Prompt ♥ Ask God to help you believe your husband’s words.
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