A Prayer Dare

July 16, 2015

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

My husband had an interesting post that I want to pass on to y’all. He made the challenge to the guys and I have made the gender changes necessary for this list.

Pray this if you dare:

Lord, make me the wife my husband needs.

If you are particularity crazy – or desperate – add:

And do whatever it takes to make it happen.

What a challenging and needed prayer.

God’s favorite three-word prayer: “Change me, Lord.”  Stormie Omartian

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Prayer Prompt Pray, “Lord, make me the wife my husband needs.”

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Happy Home Fairy: A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes… Fund the fairy!!! (I’ve been following this blogger for years. She has a sweet heart and a wonderful writing gift. It would be a good investment of your dollars.)

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The XY Code: Hovering is Bad for Kids and Marriages Helicoptering is hard on marriages too!

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His Sexuality

July 15, 2015

in the generous life

A man’s sexuality is an integral part of who he is. When his sexuality is appreciated and satisfied, he feels genuinely loved and deeply satisfied.  Lori Byerly

I wrote that a few years back in a series of posts about what men need from their wife. I had asked men following The Generous Husband to give me a peek into their world. Their words were so gracious and helpful. I thought I would reshare some of the recurring themes in their comments about sexuality. (The rest of the series is here ~ What Men Want)

 desire me sexually / please initiate sex 
validate my sexuality as normal and good
appreciate my sexuality and sexual ability
be bold, be specific (we often miss those subtle hints)
surprise me!
flirt with me, dress up for me, be confident in your sexuality
please don’t tease me and then not follow through
when you need to say no, say no kindly
please be willing to be creative in the bedroom (this was everything from “please don’t think I’m into porn because I want to try something new,” to desiring creativity to deal with physical problems and limitations), for many men creativity is a normal, good part of sex, not a comment about dissatisfaction

Read through the list of sexual perspectives and think back to what your husband has asked for in the past. Plan a little something for this weekend.

How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming!  Song of Songs 1:16a  NIV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you how to affirm your husband’s masculinity and sexuality.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: When Sex Seems Like a Chore Great guest post from a man with gently crafted words. 

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Encourage Your Spouse: Who is the ideal person to encourage your spouse? Hint: that would be you!

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Paul and I now share a bathroom sink area the size of a postage stamp.

Thankfully neither of us have a mess of bathroom stuff, but we still need to be considerate and creative about how we use our space.

We bought some cabinet organizers (you have to contain everything in an RV because of the movement). Paul has his containers and I have mine. Only the daily and weekly items go there. Back up items or infrequently used items get stored in “less important” storage areas.

It’s not a bad idea to clean up in the bathroom and make sure that it is workable for you and your husband and all your bathroom stuff. You might need to cut back on your bathroom stuff (get rid of or pack away your less used items) or get an organizer or two.

This is true of many areas of a household. You share living space with your husband (and sometimes kidlets and extended family). How do you deal with all the needs and differences?

Not a bad topic to discuss for a giveaway.

 What do you do to make an area of your home more “husband friendly?”
 How do you adjust to different needs and preferences?
 How do you deal with the clutter of two or more people?
 Any other thoughts about shared living space?

Please share your thoughts as a comment to this post and I will pick a random number on July 25th. The poster in that spot will win a copy of Simplify by Joshua Becker (or the book of their choice from the Marriage Book Library).

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you view your home through your husband’s needs and preferences.

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Messy Marriage: 10 of My Favorite Posts A smorgasbord of great posts. Which one speaks to you?

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The Forgiven Wife: Stop the Power Struggle Deep and thoughtful post.

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How much time did you spend with your husband yesterday? The day before?

Do you remember when you first fell in love? You looked for time to spend with him. You probably did some outrageous things or sacrificed here and there just to spend a few minutes with him.

I know there are responsibilities. Life changes.

But has it changed so much that you can’t look for time to spend with your husband? Maybe be a bit outrageous or sacrifice a bit here and there.

He’s the love of your life. Spend time with him and build the marriage you dreamed of.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.  Michael Altshuler

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you look at your time use and make time for your man.

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(in)courage: What to Do When You Don’t Have an Answer Ask yourself some curious questions (hubby too).

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Storyline: Why Complaining Doesn’t Get You What You Want And What Will Breaking the complaint habit.

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Rest or Play

July 12, 2015

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

Invite your husband to “rest” or “play” with you today.

That might look like going for a walk, taking a nap, having conversation over coffee, making love, or playing backgammon (to name a few options).

Take the time to connect and enjoy the day.

Sundays, quiet islands on the tossing seas of life.  S.W. Duffield

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband to set down the busyness of life so you can rest or play.

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Fundraiser ending July 17th: We’ve made 92% of our $15,000 goal. Total donors 308. Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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What do you and your husband do well? Can you use those talents to bless your neighbors and friends?

Maybe you’re great gardeners. Help a struggling neighbor or volunteer in the community garden. Perhaps you are both musical. Join the worship team. Can you offer up some hospitality? Adopt a single or a grandparent or two.

Loving and serving together is one way to build intimacy in your marriage. It’s also a great way of being Christ’s hands and feet.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another …  Peter 4:10a  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you where you and your husband can serve with your gifts.

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Refine Us: The One Thing Missing In Many Marriages I would have said grace, but gentleness will certainly do.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Stretching Our Romantic Muscles – A 21 Day Challenge Get out of your rut with romance!

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Smart Money

July 10, 2015

in the generous life

How are your finances? Is your bank account balanced? Do you need to take a bite out of debt? Who is handling the paperwork, bills, and budgeting?

This is typically a tough subject in most marriages and it can take a number of tries to figure out how to best go about handling all the details.

I encourage you to take action, however. Letting life rumble along without addressing the numbers just means a bigger problem down the road. Have a sit down with your man and talk through anything that’s not working or not being addressed.

Helpful tools:

Youneedabudget.com is a phone app for budgeting and keeping track of your spending.
Financial Peace University has helped bazillions of people gain control of their finances and get out of debt.
Wave is online financial ware. It’s free and it will let you keep track of your money (personal accounts, business, etc.).

Do you know of any financial helps? (Please leave as a comment.) What works for you and your husband?

A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.  Dave Ramsey

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for financial wisdom.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Where Do You Need to Say “No” to Say “Yes” to Your Marriage? Preach it, girl! (and then preach it some more)

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: On Respecting Yourself and Your Husband: Fight the Frump! It’s one way to show a little self-respect.

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