I’ve been aware of (and impressed by) XXXchurch.org for some time. They’re doing great work helping those struggling with porn and/or a sex addiction. Additionally they’ve developed a package that works on all your devices (computer, phone, etc.) to help with accountability for your online viewing.

X3 Watch ~ If you or your husband are looking for accountability, this is a great solution. Click on the link and check out the features available. Just one more tool to help you keep your marriage healthy and strong.

The only way out, at least for me, was through accountability. I had to call stuff what it was, and I had to let someone else in on my story.  Adam Palmer

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you wisdom about what you watch, listen to and read.

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Life Of Joy: Your Husband is NOT a Mind Reader! I made this concept my 2014 personal challenge. It really makes a difference!

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Let’s Talk Time Wasters: Video Games, Netflix, Internet Take a look at these quadrants, and ask yourself, “Where am I spending my time?”

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Image courtesy of X3 Watch
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burtsbeesCongratulations, Loretta Smucker! You were the 2nd poster and winner of a Burt’s Bees Hand Repair Kit (or the book of your choice from the Marriage Book Library) in the How Do You Take Care of Yourself? Giveaway. (I’ll contact you by email shortly.)

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Stop right where you are!

Settle in and look over the history of your marriage for happy moments. List at least three of them.

When you did that you gave yourself a positive stance for facing today and you set yourself up for more goodness in your marriage. It’s all about shaping your attitudes.

Way to start the day!

I love those random memories that make me smile no matter what going on in my life right now.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you remember and embrace those happy marriage memories.

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Fierce Marriage: God’s Word: A Light In Our Darkness We need to be reminded of His amazing love.

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The Forgiven Wife: Are You in the Mood for Sex? Learning to ask the right questions.

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Motives

May 13, 2015

in the generous life

When I started practicing generosity, it took a couple of weeks for my husband to catch on (I didn’t tell him what I was up to). I wanted time to work on being generous without being noticed, but at the same time I wanted him to notice and appreciate that I was changing. I know, silly.

I finally had to settle on doing what I was doing and let him notice or not. I needed the change to be about me and my choices, not about whether he noticed and appreciated. I wanted to be inner-value driven, not just trying to gain my husband’s approval.

I kept practicing and eventually he started noticing, but by then I was fairly grounded in my choices and being appreciated was a great perk. I was being generous because that’s the kind of person I wanted to be and I was starting to reap the fruit of that lifestyle choice.

I just wanted to throw that out there because sometimes the source of motivation matters. Life and relationships go better when they are value driven. It’s one thing to chose generosity and please your husband because you love him. It’s another thing entirely to be driven by the need to be appreciated.

It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.  Roy Disney

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about generosity.

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Darby Dugger: Creating A Sanctuary Make your bedroom inviting and satisfying for you and your husband.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Are You Spontaneous? Say “yes” to the unexpected.

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Paul and I have been working on our RV. It’s been an exercise in creativity and in serving each other.

We both have needs and preferences. The trick is in communicating those and making room for them as often as possible.

Paul likes yellow. While it’s a pretty color, I don’t think I can live with bright yellow in my face in the small confines of an RV. We now have a lovely soft butter yellow bedroom. I also found fabric that coordinates with the yellow walls, white ceiling, and our brown bedding. Get this … it has sock monkeys on it. My husband needs whimsy too and we are always talking about playing by sock monkey rules (living outside of the box). I also did some serious room darkening behind the curtains because Paul needs dark to sleep.

While Paul has been gracious to let me play in the decorating department (because he knows I need “pretty” and “order”), it’s his home too and I need to make room for his preferences and needs as well. And, honestly, I think there is room for both of us if we will take the time to pray, think, and get creative.

Is there an area where you and your husband bump heads? Ask your hubby man to pray and explore options with you. Try a few possible solutions and then discuss ways to fine tune your choices.

The quote in the picture is:

We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we quit playing.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you believe there are creative options that will serve you and your husband both. Then ask Him to help you find them.

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Marriage Gems: Are Society’s Standards Hurting Your Marriage? Think through your choices to have the life and marriage you want.

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Intimacy in Marriage: 5 Costs of Sexually Refusing Your Spouse Address sexual distance now before the price goes up.

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From The Generous Wife archive:

A generous wife (thanks, Naomi!) shared an idea that I would like to pass on to y’all.  She is seeing a real change in her marriage because of one habit.

It’s simply the habit of appreciation. Every night before bed we need to tell our partner something about them that we appreciate–something specific related to a characteristic they exhibited in something they did that day.

Now that we both feel appreciated, we are so much more willing to be inconvenienced and sacrificial with each other. The things that would be points of contention before are less bothersome and don’t turn into major blow-outs when we are both assured that we are appreciated by our partner.

How simple is that and what a great tool to building intimacy and love.

You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world’s happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation …  Dale Carnegie

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see all the good things your husband is and does.

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Ashley Willis: 4 BIG DOs and DON’Ts When Arguing With Your Spouse How do you handle disagreements?

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy: Time is the Currency of Relationships A timely reminder.

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From The Generous Wife archive:

My husband and I were talking to a couple of friends and one of them mentioned boundaries in ministry. She has boundaries that she guards. If someone tries to get her to change or tries to do something that effects what she thinks God wants her to do, she will put her foot down and guard that boundary. (She is not a lone ranger and does have people who can speak into her life, this is just about guarding where she has clear direction.)

My husband and I jumped on the idea as a marriage concept. Couples need to have boundaries around their marriage that keep their marriage healthy and on track. When someone or something threatens to break through the boundaries you need to put your foot down. So when your friend keeps trying to interfere with scheduled date nights or your kids keep trying to turn your bedroom into a playroom, it’s time to put your foot down. I’m not saying you can’t be flexible, just that you need to watch that people are not frequently running over needed boundaries, making intimacy tough for the two of you. Discuss with your sweetie what you think you need for a happy, healthy marriage and then hold that line.

Boundaries are to protect life, not to limit pleasures.  Ed Cole

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband set healthy boundaries for your marriage.

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Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). We have received 59% of our $15,000 goal (from 229 donors). Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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What speaks love to your husband?

Don’t go for the simple answer. Think about it awhile. Think about the little things. What does he really enjoy? How can you bless him in those small ways that mean so much to him.

Invite your husband for a walk. Make his favorite waffles. Snuggle up for morning sex. Go geocaching with him. Take care of that chore he hates.

Your husband is a unique person. Love him in those unique ways that speak to his heart.

There really is no such thing as normal. Everybody’s different, and that is the essence of their beauty. Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you as you become a student of your spouse.

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Faith Barista: Toxic Mom? 7 Ways to Find Healing When Mother’s Day is a struggle for you.

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Confessions of a Terrible Husband: Are Your Habits Helping or Hurting Your Marriage? Podcast interview of Gretchen Rubin, author of Better Than Before: Mastering the Habits of Our Everyday Lives. (I am so going to read this book. The interview is really good too!)

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