What can you do to make your husband’s breakfast time a bit special?

Breakfast Special

Fix his favorite breakfast food.
Leave a love note next to his plate.
Buy his favorite brand of coffee or coffee creamer.
 Join him for breakfast (if he’s a morning person).
Clean off the table the night before and set things out for the morning (for those of you who are still snuggled under the covers when you hubby heads out to work).

It doesn’t take much ~ just a little something that says you are thinking about him and want to please him.

What a nice way to start the day!

The critical period in matrimony is breakfast time.  Sir Alan Patrick Herbert

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for ideas on ways to bless your man first thing in the morning.

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The Confident Mom: Steps to Implementing a Sabbath Because you need the rest.

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Stupendous Marriage: Do you Have Friends who are Marriage Positive? We need each other.

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Top Needs

May 16, 2016

in the generous life

I find if I do certain things for/with my husband, he is on top of the world.

I can burn dinner, turn up late, or forget to turn on the AC and it doesn’t bother him … as long as those few significant needs have been met.

And, really, we are all a bit like that. There are just some things that are more important to us than others. We feel more balanced when certain needs are being met. We feel loved and appreciated.

What are your husband’s top needs/wants?

Top Needs

Give it some thought and find ways to meet those needs as you walk through your week. Keep it up and watch your husband thrive.

(As an aside, do you know your own top needs? Can you communicate them graciously to your husband?)

We change the world when we simply meet the needs of another.  Kristen Welch

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you keep your husband’s needs on your heart.

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Becoming Minimalist: Becoming Minimalist A minimalist family is born!

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Stupendous Marriage: Are Running Errands Together a Love Language? He knows what makes his wife happy. Good man.

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I live in an RV. There is only so much space, so a “one in, one out” rule works well.

One In, One Out

If I buy new shoes, I get rid of an older worn pair. If I buy a new paperback book, I give away another (thank God for Kindle, which allows me to have a library of books in the space of one book).

The interesting thing is, I have found this rule works well in all kinds of areas.

I have 24 hours in my day. I only have so much space or personal energy.

If I take on a new project, it’s best if I finish off an older project first. If I give up an old habit (that’s not particularly helpful), I need to make a new one (that will help me deal with those moments when I want to revert to my old habit).

When you’re dealing with changes in your marriage, keep that rule in mind too.

If you’re going to make time for your husband in the evening, some other activity has to go or reduce. If you and your husband are going to save for a yearly vacation together, you’ll have to rearrange the budget to make that happen. If you want to stop speaking sharply with your husband, you need to fill your words with appreciation and gratitude.

One in. One out.

One in, one out: whenever something enters your home, give another item the boot.  Stephanie Cisco

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find good things to replace the old-need-to-go things.

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Do you shop on Amazon, Ebay, or other online stores?

If you start on this page, your purchases will help support The Generous Wife blog. We get a small affiliate fee from these companies for sending you to their door. It’s a painless way to give because it does not effect your purchase price. You shop as usual and we benefit.

Shop & Support The Generous Wife

There is a link to the shopping page at the bottom of every Generous Wife email.

Thanks so much.

Donors don’t give to institutions. They invest in ideas and people in whom they believe.  G.T. Smith

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Prayer Prompt  Please pray over the financial support for The Generous Wife.

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Unclutterer: Updating your legal documents Be kind to the ones you love by having all your paperwork in order.

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The Generous Husband: Friday Flashback: Massage as Therapy True for guys too. Bless your man.

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Over the last few months I’ve heard a number of women share about their struggle with the needs of their husband and children. It feels like they are being asked to choose one over the other in the busyness of life.

Two points.

1. Cut back on your responsibilities (you’re too busy).

2. I think it helps to understand the nature of the relationships.

 You have a covenant relationship with your husband ~ you chose to be one with him for life.
You have a love and release relationship with your children ~ your job is to prepare them for life (they will eventually grow up, leave, and cleave to their own sweetie).

Hubby vs. Kids?

There is often an immediacy with children (they need your help now). They are dependent on you and hubby for many things in many seasons of their childhood and adolescence.

Your husband is an adult and “can wait” momentarily when there is an immediate need with the kids, but understand your relationship with him is ongoing and for life. He cannot wait for weeks or months and still feel loved.

What that means practically is you need to build a different relationship with husband and kids. Your marriage relationship is foundational and needs to have great importance (routinely make time for hubby). Because your husband is an adult he can understand the moment (kid throwing up) or season (baby time) when you have less time and energy for him.

The important thing is to always return to a marriage focus when the moment is past and find small ways to connect during busy seasons (perhaps even team up with hubby to help each other through the season).

All the people you love are important. Kids are an amazing blessing, but please understand the nature and importance of your marriage relationship. Be intentional about keeping it strong.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  Genesis 2:24  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you build your marriage relationship all life long.

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Storyline: Is Busy-ness a Drug? A drug and a defense.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: An Introvert’s Guide to Having Energy for Sex Fuel up for intimacy.

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movesmCongratulations, FarAboveRubies! You are the 18th poster and winner of a copy of Lori’s new book Moving Past Procrastination to a Great Marriage in the Busyness as an Excuse giveaway. (I’ll contact you by email shortly.)

If you didn’t win the giveaway, I encourage y’all to pick up a copy for yourself (and a good friend too!). It would be a great choice for a read and discuss group as well.

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SELF-DISCIPLINE AND MATCHING SOCKS
(originally posted May 22, 2013)

Over the last few months I’ve been more self-disciplined with the laundry.

I’ve never been really great at it (folding and putting away clothes … well, slow at best), but one day I realized how tough it was on my sweetie (and the rest of my family over the years) when I didn’t get clothes back in the closet and drawers in a timely way.

Self-Discipline and Matching Socks

I sat down and diagrammed out my clothing system and then asked myself where the hang up was. No surprise that it was the “put away” part.

So I just made a rule for myself that when each load was done, I would hang things up, fold the rest and put everything away right then. I’ve done a pretty good job of it, it’s made our lives a bit smoother, and there is less clutter in the bedroom and laundry room (although I have a pretty impressive collection of lonely socks).

A little self-discipline can be a good thing. Is there some part of your life or household that is not working? Think it through and brainstorm some solutions to try. Your sweetie and family will thank you.

We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit.  Aristotle

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you sort through a personal or household difficulty.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Ten 30-Minute Dates To Help You Connect And Unwind Take a mini-date!

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For Better – Or What?: Qualities of a Happy Marriage?  It’s what the heart hungers for. Build these into your marriage.

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Set a Limit

May 11, 2016

in the generous life

Another reason folks tend to shy away from a “trial and error” approach is the fear the choice will become permanent and you don’t want to be stuck with it (especially if you’re not sure you will like it).

A good tool: set a limit.

Set a Limit

 Let’s go to a Financial Peace University class and try the budget for three months.
 I’d like to try this position in the bedroom. Can we try it three different times, so we can see if it’s something we can learn to do comfortably?
 Would you take on Friday dinners for the next month? Let’s see what a difference it makes in our schedule.

When you set a limit, your change is not set in stone. You’ve set an end to your experiment so you can discuss it and decide if it works for you both or if it needs fine tuning.

I play better tennis because the court is there.  Robert Frost

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband set reasonable limits.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Red Lights, Green Lights, And Smoke Screens Wear a no vacancy sign!

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Gary Thomas: What Are You Willing to Kill So that Your Marriage Can Truly Live? Don’t let anything compete with the intimate oneness of your marriage.

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