Weekly Check In

February 20, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
I love questions. Here are a couple that you might want to ask weekly.

What did I do or say this last week that blessed you or made you feel loved?
What did I do or say this last week that caused you to feel disrespected or unimportant?

Give your husband a safe place to share answers to these questions. Learn from his perspectives. (If he asks to hear your answers, be sure to share with kind words.)

An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart.  David Augsburger

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you learn to speak your husband’s language of love and respect.

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Michael Hyatt: How to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend Great podcast discussing healthy relationship concepts.

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I’m an Organizing Junkie: 5 Things to Declutter Today to Make Your Bedroom a Haven Five quick steps to bringing order to the room you share with your sweetie.

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Image credit © WavebreakmediaMicro / DollarPhotoClub
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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
From time to time I remind y’all to keep your bedrooms clean and pretty. I read something the other day that would be a good addition to the bedroom check up. How does technology play into your bedroom and private time with your husband?

Phones? Computers? TV? Do these add to or detract from your time together? How do you want your bedroom to feel?

I have no problem with electronics, but, like anything else, you need to make wise choices about what to have in your bedroom. Do you enjoy watching TV together on occasion or does it become a distraction? A waste of time? Is your phone a help or a hindrance (I use my phone as an alarm clock)? Computer work area? Yes, sometimes it’s needed, but perhaps a standing screen can be used to cover it so that it’s less distracting.

Give some thought to these items and make sure they are a plus not a minus.

Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.  Christian Lous Lange

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom in how to set up your bedroom for connection and intimacy.

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Please consider giving a few dollars to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee.

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The Forgiven Wife: Waves of Healing Healing happens piece by piece, layer by layer.

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Don’t Hide It

February 18, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Author Unknown

I’ve heard this a number of times in my life and I still don’t believe it, especially where marriage is concerned.

Are you withholding information from your husband? Maybe you know he’ll be upset or disappointed. Yup, I hate that too, but you compound the problem by not sharing information he may need to know (like how you overspent when you went shopping or how you are struggling with an attraction to someone else).

Yes, there are better ways and times to communicate (I’m all for being wise and kind), but the communicating does need to happen. Pick a good time, choose your words carefully, and ‘fess up.

On the flip side, be willing to listen, ask questions, and treat your man with grace when he has to share something difficult.

In confession… we open our lives to healing, reconciling, restoring, uplifting grace of Him who loves us in spite of what we are.  Louis Cassels

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband create a safe place to share those difficult confessions.

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For Better – Or What?: Does Your Spouse Make Mistakes? Turn mistakes into creative fun.

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Intimacy in Marriage: 3 Things to Do NOW If You Don’t Like Sex Do you love everything about your marriage… except the sex?

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
Y’all … a bit of happy news and a fundraiser.

About a year ago, Paul and I started talking about getting an RV and traveling full time doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. In an update last June, Paul said “There is no way we can make this happen, it will have to be God.” 

God’s funny (and so very good).

A couple of weeks ago while we were kicking tires at the local dealer, we found a used trailer we really liked. We thought we could fairly easily convert it to what we need, but there was a problem – we hadn’t done a fundraiser yet. We had good reason to think our bank would give us a loan, however, the morning we were going into town to talk to the bank, Paul just didn’t have any peace about. So we prayed and set it aside. 

Within two hours he received an email offering a FREE RV. It was sitting at a park managed by a friend at church. The Christian couple living in it were moving for work and did not want to take it across the country. They asked our friend to find someone who would be blessed to receive it as a gift! 

Our new home © Paul H. Byerly

Last Friday it became ours! It’s a 34-foot fifth wheel with two pop-outs. It even has a few extras we wanted to add when we had the money – things like a washer and dryer (happy dance), and it has solar panels, extra batteries, and an inverter with clean enough power for our computers.

We spent most of Saturday checking it out and thinking through how to modify it for our needs (we need room for two standing desks). It needs a bit of work, and we don’t have a tow vehicle yet. This is where we ask you for help. We want this to be a true crowd funding thing, with donations from $2 to $5. As that is about what a coffee costs at Starbucks, we are calling our fundraiser “Send us out with a cup of coffee.”

We figure we need about $20,000 to get on the road. As Paul and I each reach tens of thousands of people, achieving the goal on donations of no more than $5 should be do-able. You can help us out in either of two ways:

1. Fold a piece of paper around a few dollar bills, toss it in an envelope, and send it to:

Coffee cups and change © Paul H. ByerlyPaul & Lori Byerly
PO Box 2166
Deer Park, WA, 99006-2166

2. Hit PayPal.

All donations will go through The Marriage Bed (our non-profit). If there is no name and address in the envelope it will be considered an anonymous cash donation. If you include your name and address (cash or check made out to The Marriage Bed), you may claim it as a donation (due to the number of small donations we are expecting, we will not be acknowledging them individually for this fundraiser only).

We will keep you updated on the number of you who send something, and the total donated. If you wish to give more, please use our normal donation page.

We are excited about what God has done and look forward to being able to travel and meet many of you. We have created The Generous Journey for those who want to follow the story more closely (the page is pretty basic because we just got the URL).  :)

Not all those who wander are lost. J.R.R. Tolkien (though I expect that will happen now and then)

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Prayer Prompt Please pray for Paul and me as we follow our dream.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: 8 Things I’d Say about Sex If I Had NO Filter (Heaven Help Us All) Totally loved this.

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The Generous Husband: 5 Signs You Need a Marriage Counselor Nice guest post from Marriage Rescue Associates.

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Image credit © Paul Byerly
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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
I’ve been chin deep in bookkeeping for the last couple of weeks. I finished off the non-profit books and giving letters in January and then in February, I set up all my books on Wave. It allows me to do my personal, business and non-profit books in one place (and it’s free). A lot of the information downloads from my bank and Paypal and I can scan all my receipts with a nifty phone app. It’s a pretty amazing system (that drove me crazy at first because it wasn’t like my old system of bookkeeping, but now I like it).

Why am I babbling about bookkeeping? It’s a sad fact of life that you need to keep track of your finances and keep relatively decent records for budgeting, taxes, etc. Finance is one fairly common area of friction in a marriage and I thought I’d pass on a helpful tool.

Other helpful tools:

Youneedabudget.com has been helpful to several of my friends. It’s a phone app for budgeting and keeping track of your spending.
Financial Peace University has helped bazillions of people gain control of their finances and get out of debt.

What financial tips and ideas work for you? What financial software or apps do you use?

You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.  Dave Ramsey

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom and direction with your finances.

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One Flesh Marriage: Day 1 – 10 Day Sex Challenge 2015 I know this is a day late, but pick any ol’ 10 days and bless your man.

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Bonny’s OysterBed7: 50 Shades of Uncertainty A quick fix that will leave you flat. Chose the better way … His way.

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Keep Going

February 15, 2015

in the generous life

♥ ♥ ♥ It’s the day after Valentine’s Day! ♥ ♥ ♥

Romance on special days is wonderful. It tells your man he is special too. However, if you don’t romance him on other days, holidays can begin to feel a bit hollow (as can those other days).

So please do continue to romance your man. As a reminder, this week’s challenge is to find a little way to romance your man every day. It doesn’t have to be much ~ a hug, a note, or his favorite dessert. Just keep it going.

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
(Be sure to look through the after Valentine’s Day sales for goodies like candles, heart stickers, red lingerie, and such. Tuck them away for future moments of romance. You might also want to create a Pinterest board for romantic ideas. That way when you feel romance challenged you have a place to get a little inspiration.)

The difference between an ordinary marriage and an extraordinary marriage is in giving just a little ‘extra’ every day, as often as possible, for as long as we both shall live.  Fawn Weaver

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you learn what speaks romance to your husband.

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A Few Words

February 14, 2015

in the generous life

♥ ♥ ♥ Today is Valentine’s Day! ♥ ♥ ♥

As a last minute idea, may I suggest a love note or a list of things you love about your husband?

Let your man know he is loved and desired.

The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter…  Mark Twain

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband make today a great day of connection and intimacy.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: How I Win Every Argument with My Spouse Great guest post from Daniel Robertson of God’s Help for Marriage.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Everyday Romance – How Sweet It Is Leave him a cute candy bar love note.

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