Practical Prep

February 24, 2015

in the generous life

What do you and your husband enjoy doing together? Cooking? Watching movies? Geocaching?

Be prepared so you are ready to play at a moment’s notice. Think through options and possibilities. What gear do you need? What kind of preparation?

Paul and I enjoy playing cards (and other games). I keep everything we need in a spot in our dining area. I can easily grab a deck of cards and paper and pen for score keeping. I don’t spend time digging through my purse for a pen or wondering where I put those silly cards. 

Think it through and be prepared so you can grab those moments of play.

It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. Whitney Young Jr

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you grow your organizing skills.

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One Flesh Marriage: Day 7- Forget the Housework Brad and Kate are writing encouraging posts through their 10 Day Sex Challenge. I like this day’s perspective.

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Ashley Willis: The BIG Lie that Leads to a Lonely Marriage Be supportive and interdependent instead.

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One of the best things I ever did for my marriage was tossing my score card. When you keep track of who does what and who has given more or less, you gum up your ability to love and give freely. Your behavior is, in effect, owned by another’s behavior. You can only give as much as you get (and others give only as much as they get, and everything grinds to a very miserable halt).

And, when you think about it, you and your husband are different people with different gifts and abilities. You’ll live through different seasons and have different needs and wants. There really is no fair or even division of give and take. So just take the whole thing off the table.

Instead be who God calls you to be and love generously because that is the work God is doing in you.

It’s amazing the kind of freedom there is. You give and God gives back (in and through others and life’s circumstances). You walk generously and God uses it to change your heart and the heart of others too. (I have yet to be able to out give God. I have been trying, just as an exercise in getting to know Him, and I’ve been seriously out-generous-ed. You should try. Perhaps you will have better luck at it.)

So toss that score card and enjoy your sweetie!

God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.  Philippians 2:13 NLT

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about generosity (and especially how to be generous to your husband).

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The Generous Husband: What if Gatekeepers Are Victims? Understanding culture’s impact on our sexuality.

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Cracking the Marriage Code: 7 Questions Every Married Couple Should Ask Each Other To Improve Their Marriage Y’all know how much I like questions. Here are 7 great ones to share with your man.

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Good Moments

February 22, 2015

in the generous life

Think back over this last week. What moments in your marriage were sweet? 

Here are a few from my week:

1. Watching Paul deconstruct a cabinet where our standing desks will go in the RV (nothing says happiness like a guy taking something apart).
2. Playing gin rummy with Paul while the dog played at our feet with his new bone.
3. Paul and I sharing coffee with our son, daughter-in-law, and new grandson. It doesn’t get much better than that.

This might be a good journaling project from week to week. It’s a good habit to hold on to those sweet memories and they help build a sense of gratitude.

Memories are timeless treasures of the heart.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you be present and engaged with your husband (a first step in building happy memories).

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We have received 10.2% of our $20,000 goal in the Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee fundraiser (from 79 donors). Thanks for your generous support.  :)

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
From The Generous Wife archive:

I have a plate that says “You are special today” around the rim.  We actually use it quite a bit.  You’re supposed to pull it out on birthdays and special days, but I find that folks need to know they are special more often than that. 

If someone has had a rough day, they are likely to find it at their place setting.  Guests are pretty special as well.  And, of course, there is the “just because” reason.

I highly recommend getting a “special” plate, but you could get creative and make your own or just buy an outrageously pretty plate and make that your family’s special plate.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Margaret Cousins

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you how to encourage your husband with moments of special attention.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy.: I Need Your Help for 2 Minutes, and I Have a Free Mini-ebook for You Take a mini-survey and download 24 Quick and Healthy Real Food Meals.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: My Heart for The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex Sheila shares her story and what she hopes her book will do for you.

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Weekly Check In

February 20, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
I love questions. Here are a couple that you might want to ask weekly.

What did I do or say this last week that blessed you or made you feel loved?
What did I do or say this last week that caused you to feel disrespected or unimportant?

Give your husband a safe place to share answers to these questions. Learn from his perspectives. (If he asks to hear your answers, be sure to share with kind words.)

An open ear is the only believable sign of an open heart.  David Augsburger

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you learn to speak your husband’s language of love and respect.

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Michael Hyatt: How to Become Your Spouse’s Best Friend Great podcast discussing healthy relationship concepts.

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I’m an Organizing Junkie: 5 Things to Declutter Today to Make Your Bedroom a Haven Five quick steps to bringing order to the room you share with your sweetie.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
From time to time I remind y’all to keep your bedrooms clean and pretty. I read something the other day that would be a good addition to the bedroom check up. How does technology play into your bedroom and private time with your husband?

Phones? Computers? TV? Do these add to or detract from your time together? How do you want your bedroom to feel?

I have no problem with electronics, but, like anything else, you need to make wise choices about what to have in your bedroom. Do you enjoy watching TV together on occasion or does it become a distraction? A waste of time? Is your phone a help or a hindrance (I use my phone as an alarm clock)? Computer work area? Yes, sometimes it’s needed, but perhaps a standing screen can be used to cover it so that it’s less distracting.

Give some thought to these items and make sure they are a plus not a minus.

Technology is a useful servant but a dangerous master.  Christian Lous Lange

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom in how to set up your bedroom for connection and intimacy.

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Please consider giving a few dollars to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee.

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The Forgiven Wife: Waves of Healing Healing happens piece by piece, layer by layer.

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Don’t Hide It

February 18, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
What you don’t know won’t hurt you. Author Unknown

I’ve heard this a number of times in my life and I still don’t believe it, especially where marriage is concerned.

Are you withholding information from your husband? Maybe you know he’ll be upset or disappointed. Yup, I hate that too, but you compound the problem by not sharing information he may need to know (like how you overspent when you went shopping or how you are struggling with an attraction to someone else).

Yes, there are better ways and times to communicate (I’m all for being wise and kind), but the communicating does need to happen. Pick a good time, choose your words carefully, and ‘fess up.

On the flip side, be willing to listen, ask questions, and treat your man with grace when he has to share something difficult.

In confession… we open our lives to healing, reconciling, restoring, uplifting grace of Him who loves us in spite of what we are.  Louis Cassels

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband create a safe place to share those difficult confessions.

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For Better – Or What?: Does Your Spouse Make Mistakes? Turn mistakes into creative fun.

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Intimacy in Marriage: 3 Things to Do NOW If You Don’t Like Sex Do you love everything about your marriage… except the sex?

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