Another thing I’ve learned more about in the RV adventure is … patience.

Yes, at times it’s an expensive lesson, but I see myself stretching and growing as God works in the midst of the mess (both in the RV transformation and in my own). I’m learning that my time table isn’t necessarily God’s time table (hint: God’s is better).

My hurry/lack of patience is usually about meeting my own needs or trying to live up to some standard (where do we get those?). If I will only stop and listen to Him, life gets much simpler.

Are you feeling frustrated? Pause. Ask God to help you rest in His timetable.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about being patient with your husband, your marriage and your life. (Yes, I am aware this is a somewhat dangerous prayer.)

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howsyourlovelife: Benefit of the Doubt Believe in him. Believe in “us.”

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The XY Code: How Often Does Your Marriage Need _____? What does your marriage need to be happy and healthy?

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Yesterday one of the things I mentioned was cleaning your bedroom first (as a way of showing preference in your marriage).

Paul and I are revamping a fifth wheel and we started with the bedroom because it needed the least work and it enabled us to move in faster.

Because RVs have limited space you have to be good about putting everything in its place or you quickly get chaos. I start each day by making the bed and making the room neat and tidy. This is a normal habit for me, but I’m a little stricter about it now because of the smaller space.

It’s been interesting to see the changes that this one simple focus has made. Our bedroom has a welcoming feel. Our conversations are calmer and more intimate. We’ve noticed we are feeling closer physically (though that may be because we downsized to a queen sized bed). smile Some of it I can’t figure out how to put in words, but it’s definitely positive.

So, yeah, take the time to make your bedroom special and keep it maintained. Your marriage will benefit from it.

Marriage is getting to have a sleepover with your best friend every night of the week.  Christie Cook

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to bless your bedroom with a sense of welcome and intimacy.

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Holley Gerth: An Invitation for You Only He knows the words our hearts need most.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: His Past Porn Habit Makes It Hard to Know What’s Okay Great advice in her summer series of Q&A.

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It’s easy in the day-to-day familiarity of life to let certain courtesies and kindnesses slip between you and your husband.

Your marriage needs your best time and your best attitudes. This doesn’t have to feel too overwhelming. Start with little things like a few

 Clean your bedroom first on cleaning day (it will change your attitudes, believe me).
 Say “thank you” and “please.”
 Do his least favorite chore for him when you know he is tired.
 Share a few thoughtful words and a smile as your husband comes in the door (or maybe a kiss he can feel down to his toes).

It’s those little day-to-day kindnesses that build intimacy and love. Stay faithful in doing those things that speak kindness and respect.

Marriage is a mosaic you build with your spouse. Millions of tiny moments that create your love story. Jennifer Smith

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you creative ideas for small ways to bless your husband.

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rebelauthentic: Validation: Willing to Try I love his two test questions. Where does your value come from?

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Authentic Intimacy: How to Prioritize Your Husband For when life tries to run over your marriage.

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gracesmCongratulations, Jill! You are the 6th poster in the How Do You Celebrate? Giveaway. You have won a copy of Grace Filled Marriage (or the book of your choice from the Marriage Book Library). I’ll contact you by email shortly.

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What are you feeling toward your husband right now?

How can you communicate that in a kiss?

Welcome home. I missed you.
I need the comfort of your arms.
I’m sorry.
I’m feeling playful and silly.
I’ve very available.

Speak your heart with your lips.

Is not a kiss the very autograph of love? Henry Finck

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you show your delight in your husband.

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The Forgiven Wife: How Do You Initiate Sex? Nice perspectives and many do-able ideas.

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My Beloved Is Mine!: Gamer or Husband? This post is addressed to husbands who are gamers, but anyone can learn from it in dealing with those things that eat up our time (Pinterest, Facebook, etc.).

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Forgiveness

June 21, 2015

in the generous life

I can’t remember who said this (I think I read it somewhere), but [whoever it was] likened forgiveness to taking your hands away from a offender’s throat. That person has done you wrong and you’re releasing them from the penalty of your anger and the need to punishment them for what they’ve done wrong toward you.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that they haven’t done anything wrong (quite the opposite actually, you don’t forgive a lack of offense). It doesn’t mean there won’t be any natural consequences to their wrong doing. It doesn’t mean that everything is OK and things will go on like normal.

It does mean that you are stepping back and letting God help you deal with your anger and hurt. It means you are cancelling the personal “debt” of the “offender” and letting God step into the situation and deal with it in His timing and wisdom.

Do you need to forgive your husband?
Do you need to ask for forgiveness?

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:32 ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband work through any offenses between the two of you.

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We’ve made 72% of our $15,000 goal. Total donors 257. Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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Making Time

June 20, 2015

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

Busy work week? Do you and your husband run in all directions with little time during the week for each other?

Certainly take advantage of any small moments during the week, but be aware and use your days off as a time to connect with your man.

“Quality time” happens in surprising moments during “quantity time.” If you want to build intimacy of all kinds in your marriage, you have to spend time with each other. There really is no substitute.

Be intentional about couple time.

This is my beloved and this is my friend …   Song of Songs 5:16b  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband make time for each other.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy.: 29 Fun Things to Do with Your Spouse this Summer I love practical, do-able lists.

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Encourage Your Spouse: I Love You Encouragement is really pretty simple. You can do it! (Love the videos.)

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If your sexual life is a reflection of the health of your marriage, how are you doing?

Now I know a marriage is about more than just sex, but sex is an integral part of marriage and your bedroom life will often show cracks before other parts of your marriage.

It’s actually a pretty good warning flag. When your bedroom life begins to falter, take some time to get your level of physical intimacy back to optimal health. 

What do you need to do to make sex enjoyable for you both? What changes need to be made (think time, energy, focus)? How can you help each other?

Heart pounding, body sweating, hair soaked… Going for a morning run does that but leaves me a little tired. Staying in the bed with my husband a little longer yields the same result – but is a whole lot more fun.  Fawn Weaver

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband give sex all the attention it needs.

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The Forgiven Wife: The Laundry Chute: Getting Unstuck Getting unstuck is far more important than placing blame.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Q&A: Will Frequent Yeses Turn My Husband into a Sex Maniac? Give your husband the green light for frequent sex.

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