A Change of Plans

August 25, 2015

in other

Paul and I planned a small jaunt around Washington to exercise our RVing skills. Just a couple of days at a retreat campground and a couple of days in Sequim (pronounced “skwim”) to visit with family and friends.

When it was time to go to our home base, we got a text from our son. They were being evacuated because of a nearby fire. They bundled up everyone and their important stuff and drove off to a small cabin out of harms way.

OK, then.

Change of plans.

We’re now sitting at an RV park on the coast. (I can hear the sympathetic groans.) We’ll stay on the coast until the fire gets sorted out (at this point about 15 percent contained but it’s looking like their place will be OK).

I mention this because, though it’s a lovely change of plans in some ways, it’s still a change of plans and unsettling. We had to rearrange our finances, work hours, and more (plus the concern for our kids).

Life is full of stops, starts, and curves (and sometimes a few drop offs!).

How do you handle change?

Do you fuss? Complain? Do you and your husband team up and make a plan or fight about options?

As a perspective, staying calm and thinking creatively can be a big help. I know it’s a difficult when things are whirling around you, but a small break and a prayer can make a huge difference on how you approach and deal with change.

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.  Denis Waitley

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom, calm, and creative ideas when life throws you a curve.

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(in)courage: How to Make a Marriage Flourish Marriage is a team sport.

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Unclutterer: Getting organized doesn’t happen overnight Three basic approaches for taking control of clutter:

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I was reading Keelie’s 3 Bible Verses You Can Apply To Your Marriage and enjoyed her perspectives on applying scriptures that are not typically applied to marriage.

9thoughtsMarriage doesn’t happen in a bubble and much of scripture can be applied to marriage even if it doesn’t have a “use this in your marriage” directive.

So the next time a scripture stands out to you, ask God how it can be applied to your marriage.

And it’s time for a giveaway, so I’m going to ask y’all to share your favorite Bible verses and any marriage application you can think of. Or perhaps there’s a scripture that you hold onto for your marriage or one that God seems to be holding out for you to consider.

Please leave your thoughts as a comment to this post and I will pick a random number on August 31st. The poster in that spot will win a copy of Sheila’s new book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage (or the book of their choice from the Marriage Book Library).

Apply yourself wholly to the Scriptures, and apply the Scriptures wholly to yourself (and marriage).  Johann A. Bengel (parenthesis mine)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to speak to you about your marriage through His Word.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage Today “The effect of doing them regularly will add up over time.” Love this perspective. 

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Family Life: One Simple Habit That Will Transform Your Marriage Take the challenge!

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A Place of Rest

August 23, 2015

in the generous life

A while back I wrote about a busy season in my life and the grumpiness I was fighting. I am now, more than ever, convinced I need regular rest and refreshment. I’m more able to do a good job of life (and marriage) when I have those little breaks and sometimes larger breaks.

One of the first places we went on our RV adventure is this retreat center. A friend of ours is a part of the team that runs it. We pulled in for a couple of days of rest and writing.

Here is a picture of the view from outside my front door. I just about melted when we got there. Serene. Quiet.

In what ways can you take small breaks? Larger breaks? How do you and your husband get away for a little R&R? Take care of yourselves so you have the energy and inner calm to build a healthy, happy marriage.

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer’s day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the blue sky, is by no means waste of time.  John Lubbock

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you make time for rest and play.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
take time to be present with your husband.

 
As an exercise, grab a pen and paper and write down all the things you were “told” about sex as you grew up (by words, silence, attitudes, movies, books, etc.). How much of it was positive? Negative? How much do those messages affect your sexuality today?

If you want to change or improve your sexual attitudes, try changing the messages you “hear” on a regular basis.

Pick friends that are marriage and sex friendly. Get rid of those magazines on your coffee table and stop watching that sitcom. Follow a couple of good marriage blogs.

Replace the bad messages with good messages.

Get around people who have something of value to share with you. Their impact will continue to have a significant effect on your life long they have departed.  Jim Rohn

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you add more marriage and sex positive voices to your life.

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howsyourlovelife: The Last 10% The hard words are hard, but, oh, so necessary.

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Love Hope Adventure: How I Made My Room Feel Romantic On A Budget Creating a mood doesn’t have to be expensive.

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Privacy Settings

August 21, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
take time to be present with your husband.

 
Have you had that talk with your husband? The one about which things are private and which are not?

Intimacy requires a certain amount of privacy, things you only share with each other.

Take the time to discuss where the line is between public and private. And, honestly, there will likely be some difference of opinion. This is one place where you’ll probably want to give in and honor your spouse’s need for privacy* even if you don’t quite understand it or agree with it.

The sense of intimacy in your marriage is a tender plant and needs to be guarded.

(*I’m not talking about abuse and such. When you have serious problems, the need for help trumps the need for privacy.)

Once you’ve lost your privacy, you realize you’ve lost an extremely valuable thing.  Billy Graham

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and our your spouse set healthy privacy standards.

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(in)courage: Meeting God at the Post Office “Kind words matter. Simple gestures are better than grand flourishes.”

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Unclutterer: Organizing now to save time in the future How organized do you need to be?

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
take time to be present with your husband.

 
Yesterday I shared a point about not comparing your marriage to other marriages. In a similar vein, I’d like to encourage you not to buy all of society’s standards. Everything from keeping up with the Jones’ (which generally means stressed finances), to busyness, to personal and marriage goals, and more.

Remember, you are building a marriage and a life that needs to serve you and your husband well. It doesn’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) look like everyone else’s marriage and life.

Spend time in prayer and talking with your man. Dream a bit. Make plans. Live your lives (instead of someone else’s).

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.   Flora Whittemore

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find life and marriage standards that work for you and your man.

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Ferguson Values: No Respect. No Respect. Typically you get what you give.

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Life Of Joy: Set a Guard Over Your Mouth Watch out for those little birdies!

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
take time to be present with your husband.

 
I’m a member of The Christian Marriage Bloggers Association. It’s a gathering place for bloggers for friendship, prayer, encouragement, and more.

cmbaloveThis month we have a challenge to promote another marriage blogger. I picked Marriage 4:29 because they are new bloggers and, in looking at my marriage feeds this morning, their post stood out to me.

3 Ways to Stop Comparing Your Marriage

I love their dependence on prayer and common sense approach to life. Do take the time to read the whole article and wander around their site for more goodies.

… and I’m going to add a 4th point to the discussion (see now you have to click on the link to read the other three).   smile

Your marriage shouldn’t look like other marriages. OK, there will be similarities, but you and your husband are different people, in a different season of life, with different callings, and so forth. How you build your marriage should be unique to the two of you. If you compare your marriage to others, you are comparing yourself to the wrong standard. God has something planned especially for you.

When you focus on what God has for you both, then it is easier to see other successful marriages without envy or bitterness. Those other folks are just having a good season in their marriage and you can cheer them on to more success. Having others with healthy marriages is good for you (buddy up) and an encouragement to the world that good marriages do exist and that God’s plan is amazingly sweet!

Comparison is the thief of joy.  Theodore Roosevelt

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you and your husband what he wants for your marriage.

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Of the Hearth: Which Documents to Keep and Which to Toss I love this simple printable. Not only do you trim down your paperwork, but you can more easily find what you need with fewer papers around.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Considering This Question Could Change Your Marriage–What Identifies You? You and your husband are deeply loved by Christ.

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