From The Generous Wife archive: 

Last night a storm moved over our town. My husband and I pulled back the curtains and watched lightning streak across the sky. We enjoyed the booms of thunder (not so much our dog).

It was so beautiful that we talked about it this morning and it reminded me of how important it is to share little moments of wonder and beauty with your spouse. It creates a bond of common experience that is positive. 

Look for the beauty around you and invite your husband to share the moment. An amazing sunset. Newborn puppies. Garden plants pushing up through the soil. Children playing in the sprinklers.

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.  Author Unknown

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you be aware of the beauty around you and make opportunity to share with your husband.

line

To Love, Honor and Vacuum: What My Two-Year-Old Taught Me About Marriage Build Mommy-Daddy time into your day.

line

The XY Code: Why Does My Husband Want Me to Initiate Sex? Initiating sex says a number of things he needs to hear.

line

Image courtesy of Jennifer Ellison / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 1 comment }

Imperfect

April 19, 2015

in the generous life

Has your husband ever done anything that annoyed or hurt you? (I know, dumb question.)

My reason for asking is to point out that we need to be careful not to let those moments overshadow all the good things our husbands do. One bad moment doesn’t make him all bad. It makes him human and flawed (same as you and me).

Remember he is a mix of things, including all those lovely things he does ~ the shoulder rubs, picking up the kids, mowing the lawn, that sexy kiss, and the compliment he paid you in front of your friends.

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.  Sam Keen

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you remember the good things and respond with grace in those tough moments.

line

Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (donations of $2 to $5 dollars). We have received 57% of our $15,000 goal (from 218 donors). Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

line

Image credit © pathdoc / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 0 comments }

Yesterday I talked about the importance of keeping your mind in gear so you’ll know when to walk away from a blog or a book.

Today I’d like to share a bit more about how I process things and where I draw the line. Some background concepts …

I don’t expect everyone to have the same standards I have. (We are all individuals with different life experience, different preferences, different beliefs, etc..)

I don’t think I’m all right all the time. (I like my current standards, but I know I’ve still got learning and growing to do. I am a work in progress. I’m not tentative about my beliefs, but nobody died and made me God.)

God has some standards that are spelled out pretty plainly (most of these things we probably agree on). Yet on other things He’s silent and over some subjects there may be what seems to be conflicting words (so there are bound to be some disagreements there). I’m open to disagreeing graciously over non-essentials and I think discussion can help us grow and learn.

I try not to stick my nose into God’s business when it comes to another person’s walk. I’m more than happy to share what I believe, but I respect folks’ right to choose and the Holy Spirit’s job in growing us up (in His way and in His timing). Definitely His job, not mine.

That said, I tend to lump resources into four categories.

1) Good and safe. There are a few authors that I have confidence in. Yes, I know they are human and can make mistakes, but they routinely turn out good material within biblically sound boundaries (as I understand them). I can link to them safely and read their stuff to my benefit. I look forward to reading their blogs and books.

2) Good material with the occasional huh? These folks write encouraging and insightful posts. I pick and choose. Sometimes I disagree with them, but it’s within a reasonable margin. I can write it off to a difference in perspective or preference. They’re not promoting blatant sin. If I send a thinking person to their site (that would be y’all), I don’t worry that it will have detrimental effects. Lots of meat, very few bones.

3) Material that I read because I’m looking for a specific bit of information. I don’t pass it on to the blog because it has too many bones. This would include sources like secular articles and research. (This is something of a reflection of calling. God has placed a desire to serve in the area of marriage and sexuality. He gives ability and grace in those places where He calls you to serve.)

4) Stuff that I don’t read or pass on. If someone recommends porn use, they’re off my to read list. There is too much good stuff out there to waste my time trying to find a few bits of meat on their site. I don’t go for blatant sin and I don’t want to put others in harm’s way. I don’t promote sites that routinely talk about practices that are potentially destructive or that teach beliefs that I believe are harmful to marriage or life. I realize that’s a list that is about me and my standards/beliefs, but it’s my personal blog, so I have to live with what I put out there. (For example, I don’t recommend most romance novels. For me and too many of my readers it’s a big problem. You may be able to read them without ill effect, but you won’t read about them on my blog.)

Basically I’ve created a playground surrounded by the fence of my beliefs and choices. Sometimes I talk to people over the fence and reconsider my fence, but I’m very careful about changing my fence.

We need to learn the difference between, “This is different
and I am free to agree or disagree, perhaps learn something.”
and, “This is flat out harmful and I need to walk away.”

 
I would encourage you to build a reading playground (though it may look slightly different from mine). You might want to discuss this with your husband or a few good friends. Sound out what is good and bad for you. Set clear boundaries and then stand on them when you run into something questionable.

Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse.  Philippians 4:8  MSGV

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you create healthy boundaries where your reading material is concerned.

line

One Flesh Marriage: 5 reasons we can’t handle marriage anymore – A Rebuttal Thoughts on a recent article by Anthony D’Ambrosio.

line

The Forgiven Wife: Moving from Resentment to Forgiveness What do you need to do to more toward forgiveness?

line

Images courtesy of anankkml / FreeDigitalPhotos.net and alexskopje / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 4 comments }

Most days I share links to articles at the bottom of my post. I keep an eye on a number of blogs, read books, and I pass on the goodies to y’all. In effect, I act as a filter, passing on articles and blog posts that I think will be of interest to you and/or help you build your marriage.

Here’s where the caution comes in …

I am an imperfect filter. I do my best to bring you the best, but occasionally I’m going to miss something. Please keep your brains in gear and make wise choices about what you read and where you go online.

Recently a generous wife followed a link and then followed a link and bought a book on that author’s recommendation. Turned out, not such a good thing. We’ve all been there. We trust in someone’s recommendation and wind up with a book or product that doesn’t live up to its reviews, doesn’t work for you personally, or is even harmful to you.

I will do my best to send you to safe places, but please be willing to shut a screen, toss a book, or unsubscribe from a blog. Know yourself and build a set of standards that will help you guard your mind, heart and marriage. 

“All things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful,” but not all things build up.  1 Corinthians 10:23  ESV

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you a little check in your heart when you are about to go somewhere online that isn’t good for you.

line

RELEVANT Magazine: Kids Aren’t the Priority. Marriage Is. Keep growing as friends and lovers.

line

The Art of Simple: Waking up for my life (not to my life) What one woman did to change the focus of her life (and save her sanity).

line

Image credit © Scott Hancock / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 2 comments }

Lover

April 16, 2015

in the generous life

I have a little exercise for y’all.

Take a moment and envision yourself as your husband’s lover (I know, it can be a bit difficult, but take a positive perspective if you can).

What could you wear that you would feel comfortable in, but is a little pretty or sexy? What could you say to invite him into intimacy? What could you do that would show you want him and that he is special to you?

He is your lover and you are his. Why not enjoy it and make sex something special in your marriage?

I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine …  Song of Songs 6:3a  ESV

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see yourself as your husband’s beloved.

line

Assume Love: Marriage Doesn’t Work Anymore? Bunk! Balderdash! You can enjoy being married today!

line

The Generous Husband: Reality… What a Concept! If you’re not dealing with reality, you can’t change reality.

line

Image credit karelnoppe / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 0 comments }

From The Generous Wife archive:

This friend of mine amazes me. The other night at a gathering, she was heading for the house to get something (we were hanging around outside by a fire pit) and a kid (not even her own) said, “Can I come with you?” (I would have said no. I would have made an excuse and made the errand quickly by myself.)

Her answer? “Yes! Of course you can.” And her tone of voice said how welcome he was and how she would enjoy his company.

I felt like poo. My answer would have made the kid feel small and unwelcome.

I wonder how often, for the sake of time or convenience or whatever, I say no, when saying yes would mean a good deal of difference to someone. And in thinking about husbands, how often do we say no with little thought (like our default setting is “no”)? Perhaps we need to reconsider and change our default to “yes.”

… saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow.  Stephen Colbert

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you say “yes” more often to your husband.

line

Seth’s Blog: A practical definition of reputation What kind of reputation do you have with your husband?

line

rebelauthentic: Time Management and Relaxed Laughter What do you focus on?

line

Image credit © igor / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 4 comments }

Just Do It

April 14, 2015

in the generous life

Another thought on the “marriage building habit” theme …

 

The importance is in the actual doing. Do it and keep doing it.

Thinking about it is good. You are giving yourself direction and inspiration, but you can’t stop there. Move on to the actual doing.

Put it at the top of your to-do list. (If it seems too overwhelming to do, make it even smaller.) Choose to do it first thing in your day. Reward yourself for doing it. Leave sticky note reminders. Enlist the help of a friend. Whatever it takes …

… just do it.

Then do it again tomorrow. You, your husband, and your marriage are worth it.

Thinking without follow through amounts to nothing, just like love without works is dead.  Lori Byerly (yup, I said that the other day)

line

Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you with the day to day building of your marriage habits.

line

Intimacy in Marriage: The Sexiest Thing You Can Do for Your Husband You want to know, so just click the link.

line

Cheri Gregory: 12 Ways Perfectionism is a Lot Like My Dog Cute list, but oh so true.

line

Image credit © enterlinedesign / DollarPhotoClub
Shop & Support TGW Thanks!
We’re Donation Supported

{ 0 comments }