The next time your husband starts up a conversation, stop what you’re doing and give him your full attention.

Conversation for Two

Look at him, listen well, and engage without distraction (as much as possible). He’s worth it.

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.  M. Scott Peck

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stay present in conversation with your husband.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Picking Your Priorities (Sex Should Be One of Them) Priorities, priorities, priorities!

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Ashley Willis: 4 Things that Wear Down Your Marriage Think through your lifestyle choices.

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What little treat can you get for your husband the next time you are out shopping? Or perhaps there is some practical item that he needs or has run out of.

A Little Something

Pick up a little something that will let him know you’ve thought about him and want to bless him in some small way.

Sometimes when I consider what tremendous consequences come from little things. I am tempted to think there are no little things.  Bruce Barton

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you small ways to bless your man.

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Life of Joy: Do Something Special Plan to bless your man.

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Unveiled Wife: How Do You Measure If Your Day Is Successful? Get a new perspective.

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LIFT THE LATCH
(originally posted April 19, 2013)

My sweetie, The Generous Husband, just did a great post on Gatekeeping

Gatekeeping is when you have a position of power over a given area in a relationship or situation and you are the one who chooses what will or will not be done. The term is usually used in a negative sense ~ a gatekeeper stops something that needs to be done so that others will recognize their position of power.

Thursday Throwback - Lift the Latch

The thing about all this is, if you act generously from your position of power, you can do an amazing amount of good. It’s incredibly healing to others when you meet them at their point of need, especially if you are the only one who can do so.

When you are talking about sex, you are your husband’s only legitimate sexual partner. When you are available you are an incredible blessing to him. It’s an act of acceptance and care that is particularly generous and healing.

Why not take a look at your marriage relationship and find those areas where you are potentially a gatekeeper. What areas of your relationship rely on your choice? Then choose to be a blessing and give generously.

Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.  Henri-Frederic Amiel

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you bless your husband at his point of need.

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The XY Code: He IS Sicker Than You Are! Women have the health advantage.

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The Forgiven Wife: 3 Ways a Vibrator Can Help Marital Intimacy A few pros and cons.

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Paul and I were able to attend Dan Allender’s Intimate Mystery conference (I highly, highly, highly recommend it).

I’m still processing everything (it was a bit like trying to drink from a fire hose), but I wanted to share something that stood out to me.

Dan spoke about a “contempt free marriage.” 

We tend to cover our fears, vulnerability, and shame with contempt as a cover maneuver. Our words get harsh or sarcastic. Or there’s an edge of a sneer in our voice.

Contempt Free Marriage

Dan and his wife take a time out whenever they hear contempt creep into their voices. Not a bad plan. Over the next few days, listen to yourself. When you start hearing contempt, take a small time out to snuggle up with God. Then step out with a gracious voice, rich with blessing.

Every marriage moves either toward enhancing one another’s glory or toward degrading each other.  Dan B. Allender

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband build a contempt free marriage.

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Darling Magazine: Why It’s OK If Your Passion Isn’t Your Full-Time Thing Right Now Deep creativity is born in the margin.

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The XY Code: Yes, That Was an Orgasm When the physical pleasure is absent.

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Hangry

April 19, 2016

in the generous life

The other day Paul and I skipped breakfast because we planned a fairly early lunch and we were running a bit late as it was. (It’s not something I usually do because I need a good breakfast to start out my day.)

Well, the errands took longer than normal, lunch was pushed off, and I found myself getting … grumpy.

Paul turned to me and said, “Are you hangry? (anger based on hunger = hangry) Should we stop and get you a little something?”

Hangry

By that time it was just easier to muddle through one more errand and get to the restaurant, but it helped me to realize that most of my struggle was about being hungry (and I should probably choose not to have any life altering discussions until after lunch).

Yesterday I wrote about being a whole person and a part of that is taking care of  yourself. Sometimes it can be as simple as knowing yourself and doing those little things that keep you sane and balanced. (I’m going to buy some granola bars to keep on hand for those “hangry” times.)

Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.  Christopher Germer

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you understand what you need to be healthy and whole.

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Safe At Home: Three Key Non-negotiables In A Healthy Marriage So your marriage can flourish!

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The Generous Husband: Emergency Meal Fund For those times when you just need a break.

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Yesterday when I was looking for a prayer quote by Stormie Omartian, I ran across this one.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.  Stormie Omaritan

Paul and I spend a fair amount of time discussing (and learning to apply to ourselves) those things that can help us grow up and be a whole person.

Be a Whole Person

Self care is important because it gives you the energy to be a person. Maturing in your attitudes and values makes it easier to learn to relate in a healthy reasonable way to others.  (helpful books)

What a gift to your man and the others in your life. What a gift to yourself!

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you how to take care of yourself, to be a whole and healthy person.

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Gary Thomas: Dysfunction is a Choice Just because you come from a dysfunctional home doesn’t mean you have to build one.

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Unveiled Wife: 25 Creative & Awesome Ideas To Celebrate My Husband’s Birthday Great anytime celebration ideas!

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A friend recently gave my husband a copy of The Power of a Praying Husband. I like this guy. :)

He’s not only a friend of my husband’s (and now mine), he is also a friend of our marriage. Good man.

prayinghusband     prayingwife

Why not pick up a copy for your man and get The Power of a Praying Wife for yourself.

Talking to God should be part of every aspect of life, in times of peace as well as in every battle. Stormie Omaritan

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Prayer Prompt Ask God to help you stay faithful in prayer for your husband.

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