As a kindness, let your husband know where you are, what you’re planning, when you’ll be home, etc..

It’s an everyday kindness that makes life less worrisome for him and, practically speaking, makes his day easier because he knows what’s going on.

Not knowing these kinds of details can waste time and cause miscommunication and/or general loss of sanity. Be kind and keep him informed.

The less people know, the more they yell.  Seth Godin

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you be courteous and communicate well about your everyday plans.

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(in)courage: 5 Ways to Create a More Peaceful Home Easy steps to a little home sanity.

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Love Hope Adventure: 9 Surprising Things My Mom Taught Me About Marriage Smart mom.

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I don’t know why it is that praying with your spouse can feel awkward. Perhaps it’s just the intimacy of it. Perhaps it’s about worrying we will sound stupid or say the wrong thing. 

Regardless, I’d like to encourage you to find ways to connect with your husband and pray together. Here are some ideas that may make this easier.

 Don’t feel like you have to pray out loud. Just hug each other and pray.

 Pray short – just a sentence or two about each subject. It’s not that hard to say what’s on your mind when you can state it simply.

 If one of you is comfortable praying out loud and the other not, that’s fine. Each pray in your own way.

 If you’re stuck for prayer material, why not get a book of prayers and personalize them?

 As to finding time, just grab each other for a moment when something comes up. “Hon, will you pray a moment with me about Ben. He’s got an important test this morning.” I think bedtime is great because you are already snuggled up together. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with falling asleep during prayer. (I always wonder if we look sweet to the Lord when we are sleeping in the same our sleeping children look sweet to us.)

 Read a book about prayer together (read privately or take turns reading to each other) and talk about how you can practically do what you read.

Just one more place to learn to stand together.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:12b  NIV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you build the habit of regularly praying with your husband.

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WooHoo! We’ve made 61% of $15,000 goal received. Total donors 232. Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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My husband and I are moving to life in a fifth wheel. In preparation, we’ve planned little mini-trips to get some experience.

Well, we just took our first little trip and to make it more interesting we decided to try geocaching (sort of like an outdoorsy treasure hunt). We’ve been reading about it and wanted to give it a try.

I tangled on small rocks to have a few trinkets to share (some geocaches are large enough for items of exchange) and away we went. We found six geocaches just north of us. That’s pretty good for a couple of newbies in rural Washington.

We had a bit of fun, saw a lot of beautiful countryside, and tested out our on-the-road RV skills (no animals, people, or vehicles were harmed in the course of our mini-trip).

I share all this because:

 I like sharing about cool  stuff. Geocaching is actually pretty fun.
 I want to encourage y’all to plan little adventures with your man.

It’s creates great couple time and guys typically enjoy the adventure part.

A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies and adopting new viewpoints.  Wilferd Peterson

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband to find a few fun adventures.

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Cracking the Marriage Code: Two Secret Techniques to Stimulate your Marriage Be the teacher and the student.

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howsyourlovelife: Clean It Out Lovely analogy for keeping your marriage clean and strong.

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I’ve been aware of (and impressed by) XXXchurch.org for some time. They’re doing great work helping those struggling with porn and/or a sex addiction. Additionally they’ve developed a package that works on all your devices (computer, phone, etc.) to help with accountability for your online viewing.

X3 Watch ~ If you or your husband are looking for accountability, this is a great solution. Click on the link and check out the features available. Just one more tool to help you keep your marriage healthy and strong.

The only way out, at least for me, was through accountability. I had to call stuff what it was, and I had to let someone else in on my story.  Adam Palmer

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you wisdom about what you watch, listen to and read.

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Life Of Joy: Your Husband is NOT a Mind Reader! I made this concept my 2014 personal challenge. It really makes a difference!

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Let’s Talk Time Wasters: Video Games, Netflix, Internet Take a look at these quadrants, and ask yourself, “Where am I spending my time?”

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burtsbeesCongratulations, Loretta Smucker! You were the 2nd poster and winner of a Burt’s Bees Hand Repair Kit (or the book of your choice from the Marriage Book Library) in the How Do You Take Care of Yourself? Giveaway. (I’ll contact you by email shortly.)

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Stop right where you are!

Settle in and look over the history of your marriage for happy moments. List at least three of them.

When you did that you gave yourself a positive stance for facing today and you set yourself up for more goodness in your marriage. It’s all about shaping your attitudes.

Way to start the day!

I love those random memories that make me smile no matter what going on in my life right now.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you remember and embrace those happy marriage memories.

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Fierce Marriage: God’s Word: A Light In Our Darkness We need to be reminded of His amazing love.

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The Forgiven Wife: Are You in the Mood for Sex? Learning to ask the right questions.

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Motives

May 13, 2015

in the generous life

When I started practicing generosity, it took a couple of weeks for my husband to catch on (I didn’t tell him what I was up to). I wanted time to work on being generous without being noticed, but at the same time I wanted him to notice and appreciate that I was changing. I know, silly.

I finally had to settle on doing what I was doing and let him notice or not. I needed the change to be about me and my choices, not about whether he noticed and appreciated. I wanted to be inner-value driven, not just trying to gain my husband’s approval.

I kept practicing and eventually he started noticing, but by then I was fairly grounded in my choices and being appreciated was a great perk. I was being generous because that’s the kind of person I wanted to be and I was starting to reap the fruit of that lifestyle choice.

I just wanted to throw that out there because sometimes the source of motivation matters. Life and relationships go better when they are value driven. It’s one thing to chose generosity and please your husband because you love him. It’s another thing entirely to be driven by the need to be appreciated.

It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.  Roy Disney

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about generosity.

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Darby Dugger: Creating A Sanctuary Make your bedroom inviting and satisfying for you and your husband.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Are You Spontaneous? Say “yes” to the unexpected.

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Paul and I have been working on our RV. It’s been an exercise in creativity and in serving each other.

We both have needs and preferences. The trick is in communicating those and making room for them as often as possible.

Paul likes yellow. While it’s a pretty color, I don’t think I can live with bright yellow in my face in the small confines of an RV. We now have a lovely soft butter yellow bedroom. I also found fabric that coordinates with the yellow walls, white ceiling, and our brown bedding. Get this … it has sock monkeys on it. My husband needs whimsy too and we are always talking about playing by sock monkey rules (living outside of the box). I also did some serious room darkening behind the curtains because Paul needs dark to sleep.

While Paul has been gracious to let me play in the decorating department (because he knows I need “pretty” and “order”), it’s his home too and I need to make room for his preferences and needs as well. And, honestly, I think there is room for both of us if we will take the time to pray, think, and get creative.

Is there an area where you and your husband bump heads? Ask your hubby man to pray and explore options with you. Try a few possible solutions and then discuss ways to fine tune your choices.

The quote in the picture is:

We do not stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we quit playing.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you believe there are creative options that will serve you and your husband both. Then ask Him to help you find them.

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Marriage Gems: Are Society’s Standards Hurting Your Marriage? Think through your choices to have the life and marriage you want.

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Intimacy in Marriage: 5 Costs of Sexually Refusing Your Spouse Address sexual distance now before the price goes up.

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