Archive for the ‘quality time’ Category

Little Seeds

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

My husband and I had dinner with friends that we haven't seen in a couple of years.  It was so good to see that they were still happily married, had great kids, were surviving financially and had a solid place in a gathering of believers.  I couldn't have asked for better for them.

I am reminded again how important it is to have friends and encourage each other in your marriage relationship.  I think of the times that we spent with these friends and I know that we sowed a lot of good stuff in each others lives that is now bearing fruit.  I feel blessed down to my toes.

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple.  Only God can count all the apples in one seed. Robert H. Schuller

Be generous!  Lori <><

Be Creative / Simplify

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

From time to time I get an email from someone who feels they don't have the time to implement many of the tips (it's especially tough for moms of little ones). Realize that the generous tips are designed to give you a pool of ideas to use. If you cannot do the exact tip, give it a bit of thought to see if you can alter the tip to work for you (some seasons of life require more creativity than others). You don't have to do all the tips. They are there to inspire you in finding creative ways to bless your husband.

Having a day in the buff with your husband may not be possible, but making the bedroom a no clothes zone might be (hang a robe by the door). Going out to dinner may be nearly impossible, but sharing a late night snack after the kids are down is doable. Take the theme of the tip and see how it can be shaped to work for you.

If you have little ones, I encourage you to develop a set bedtime that is early enough to give you and your husband some couple time in the evening. Swap babysitting with another mom (and those of you with grown children might pray about offering to babysit for a young mother so that she can have some time with her husband, what a precious gift to offer another woman).

The other thing to consider (and this is for all of us) is that, generally speaking, we are all too busy. It may be time to carefully consider your obligations and choices and simplify life a bit so that you have more time for relationships, especially time for your husband. It's a personal call, but keep in mind that a relationship is generally as strong as the amount of effort and time that you put into it. Nourish your marriage.

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. Hans Hoffman

Be generous!  Lori <><

Collections

Friday, March 5th, 2010

My husband just bought me the cutest salt and pepper shaker set.  They look like Rubik cubes.  My son and I have a Pez collection (candy dispensers) and my husband has quite the collection of green M&M characters.

I'm not big on spending major bucks for things we don't need, but having a collection or two has opened the door to some great moments of quality time together as we searched for new additions (and made gift giving easy at times).

I encourage y'all to start a collection with your husband. It doesn't have to be expensive. You can collect movie ticket stubs (they make interesting collages), salt and pepper shakers, or spoons. You can collect over a common hobby or interest (like collecting books about hymns or pictures of old lighthouses). Just open the door to some fun times looking for something new for your collection.

Often the search proves more profitable than the goal. E.L. Konigsburg

Be generous!  Lori <><

Cluck, Cluck

Friday, February 26th, 2010

A friend and I are going to take a class together this Saturday (it's about raising chickens).  When I get home, I'll probably share what I've learned with my husband.  It's just a lifestyle for us.  We share from our lives.  We share what we learn.  My husband may not get into raising chickens, but he wants to know what's going on with me and it gives us stuff to talk about.  That's really important in a relationship.  It may sound kind of ordinary, but really, it's that kind of stuff that builds intimacy and sometimes brings along a bit of fun.

Look for things to share with your husband.  It doesn't have to be astounding or special.  Just share from your life, share what you learn.

All of life is a constant education. Eleanor Roosevelt

Be generous!  Lori <><

You Are More Important

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

The other night my husband was scheduled to pick someone up from the airport.  He asked me to go along.  (nice couple time, sounds good, right?)  We-e-e-ell, I'd kind of been looking forward to a little quiet time with a good book (I am an introvert and I need that quiet, alone time to keep me balanced).  The kicker was that he really wanted my company and my going would make the conversation go more easily with the person he was picking up.

I ended up going with him and telling him that he was far more important than any book.  I did enjoy my time with him (not so much the pick up), and I was happy with my decision because he is extremely important to me and I want him to know that.

In the scope of life, does your husband know that he is important to you?  If not, what would it take to show him that he is?

Every single ancient wisdom and religion will tell you the same thing - don't live entirely for yourself, live for other people.  Don't get stuck inside your own ego, because it will become a prison in no time flat. Barbara Ward

Be generous!  Lori <><

Another Day

Friday, February 19th, 2010

My husband and I are celebrating Valentine's Day today.  We couldn't do what we wanted to do on Valentine's Day, so today it is.  And, honestly, we don't really think Valentine's Day is anything special.  We just like to take advantage of any reason to celebrate and enjoy each other.

When you have a celebration that falls apart or you just can't swing it (for whatever reason), be flexible enough to celebrate another day.  The idea is just to celebrate milestones or spend time enjoying each other.  A few days difference doesn't really matter.  Loving on your sweetie does.

Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! Barbara Hoffman

Be generous!  Lori <><

Happy 25th!

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

This last week my husband and I ran away from home to celebrate our 25th anniversary (I set up a number of posts in pending so that TGW blog could move along without me).  I have a couple of thoughts (surprise).

One, celebrations are really, really important.  They help us see the good in life and they give us an opportunity to bless people and thank God for His goodness. Always room for that, I'm thinking.  So, as a tip, look for opportunities to celebrate with your sweetie.

My other thought is a little bitter sweet and requires a bit of history.  Many years ago I was married and that marriage ended in divorce.  I didn't believe in divorce, but circumstances forced it and in that moment much of my belief system went down in flames.  I still believed in God, but all the feel good stuff I'd been taught about the Christian life did not survive the fire.  I learned that He is truly faithful, but that His ways are higher than mine.  I got to watch the miracle of Him rebuilding my life.  I learned to be a little more understanding of the brokenness of others' lives and I grew in ways that only come from walking with God in a real life, one with lots of bumps and scrapes.

All this wandering down memory lane to remind myself and y'all that God is good and that He is faithful.  He is a God of restoration.  I encourage y'all to be less hard on yourselves and more dependent on Him.  Apart from Him we can do nothing and in Him we can see miracles happen, even the miracle of 25 years of marriage after a divorce.

(I'd also like to thank my sweetie (who always reads my tips).  Thank you so much for letting God use you in my life.  You've lived a life that so reflects God that I feel I know His face in yours.  You have earned the right to be called The Generous Husband.)

Be generous!  Lori <><

Listen Well

Friday, January 29th, 2010

The other day I was watching a couple talk (from a distance).  They were constantly interrupting each other. Neither of them felt heard and as a result neither was willing to listen. It was a very sad cycle.

The moral of this story is that, in difficult situations, someone has to start listening and because I email with y'all and I have your ear, I'm asking y'all to be the first to listen. I know it is not easy when you feel unheard or misunderstood, but if you can listen, you may be able to start a new and better trend.  When your husband feels heard, he will be more likely to listen and then you have the beginning of communication.

If you usually communicate well, it never hurts to practice the skill of listening, perhaps ask a few questions. Listening deeply says you care about him and you want to hear his heart.

To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well. John Marshall

Be generous!  Lori <><

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