other

A Change of Plans

August 25, 2015

in other

Paul and I planned a small jaunt around Washington to exercise our RVing skills. Just a couple of days at a retreat campground and a couple of days in Sequim (pronounced “skwim”) to visit with family and friends.

When it was time to go to our home base, we got a text from our son. They were being evacuated because of a nearby fire. They bundled up everyone and their important stuff and drove off to a small cabin out of harms way.

OK, then.

Change of plans.

We’re now sitting at an RV park on the coast. (I can hear the sympathetic groans.) We’ll stay on the coast until the fire gets sorted out (at this point about 15 percent contained but it’s looking like their place will be OK).

I mention this because, though it’s a lovely change of plans in some ways, it’s still a change of plans and unsettling. We had to rearrange our finances, work hours, and more (plus the concern for our kids).

Life is full of stops, starts, and curves (and sometimes a few drop offs!).

How do you handle change?

Do you fuss? Complain? Do you and your husband team up and make a plan or fight about options?

As a perspective, staying calm and thinking creatively can be a big help. I know it’s a difficult when things are whirling around you, but a small break and a prayer can make a huge difference on how you approach and deal with change.

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.  Denis Waitley

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom, calm, and creative ideas when life throws you a curve.

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Unclutterer: Getting organized doesn’t happen overnight Three basic approaches for taking control of clutter:

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On Time

August 1, 2015

in other

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
Being on time and being prepared is a lovely gift to give your husband.

Perhaps you are the “on time” gal and this is not a problem for you. If so, the chances are you married a “time challenged” husband (opposites attract) and he will be blessed by any thing you do. Help him by being organized, aware of time, and generally available.

If you are chronically late, take some time to explore the whys. Do you misjudge how much time it will take to get ready? Do you forget things? Are you distracted?

Brainstorm helps and solutions. Can you set out what you need the night before when you have the time to think things through? Can you set aside an extra half hour so there is time to handle any little surprises? Can you simplify your routine? Do you have a good calendar system that you and your husband regularly review?

We all understand occasional lateness (life does happen), but if this is a chronic problem for you, try various solutions and practice being timely. Your man will thank you for it.

Better three hours too soon, than one minute too late.  William Shakespeare

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you govern your time wisely, be timely, and be prepared.

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Ashley Willis: The Most Common Mistake Women Make In Marriage  I have done this. You too?

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Marriage 4:29: Guest Post: 3 Ways You’re Hurting Your Spouse When you tear down your spouse, you destroy your marriage.

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Cleaning House

March 14, 2015

in other

Yesterday I cleaned my house.

I swept up enough dog hair to create another dog, wiped down counters that had several days worth of hmmm (not sure what) and moved/sorted a few piles of paper (so much for my new paperwork system, back to the drawing board).

When it was all clean and shiny again it felt so good. It felt calmer and nicer.

My husband doesn’t register mess the way I do, but I do know that it effects him on some level. When the house is clean the whole atmosphere of the home settles and we smile more.

Cleaning house is not exciting work, but the rewards are pretty good.

Make time to regularly clean your home, especially those areas that affect your sweetie.

Cleaning and organizing is a practice, not a project. Meagan Francis

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you create housekeeping habits that work for you and your family.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Survey Invitation For The Effects Of Menopause On Your Sex Life If you are currently facing this season of life or it’s in your rear view mirror, please stop in and answer these 10 questions. Results will help Debi write a more informed article about menopause.

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Managing Your Blessings: 4 Ways to Absorb God’s Truth About Sex in Marriage Chris, of Forgiven Wife, shares great practical advice for overcoming the sexual lies we believe.

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This post may sound a bit psycho-babble, but please hear me out.

Years ago I had a friend who had a rough patch or two in her past. She has good reason to hurt and one day she “felt scared.”

Because she “felt scared” she assumed there was a reason for this fear in her life. So she went looking for whatever it was that was making her feel scared. The problem was there wasn’t really anything in her life that was a problem, but her feelings were real and she couldn’t let it go until she found something scary. She ended up picking something and making it scary, which meant this thing had to be fixed so it wouldn’t be scary anymore.

The sad thing is, she picked her husband.

She nearly destroyed her marriage because she needed something current day to explain why she felt so scared.

I share this because recently something similar happened to me. I realized I was feeling worried, tense, and scared. It went on for several days. Yes, there are things that are not great in my life, but nothing that would explain the level of my feelings. I finally had a sit down with God and said, “Lord, please, you’ve got to help me sort this out.” The upshot of it was that I’m in a period of significant change. In my history that has usually been a bad thing. I was dragging the past into my present. My present is just fine (not perfect, but good).

At this point, I just needed to hang out with God and talk to Him about my past and the lies that I’ve believed because of it. I’m sorting it out and actually doing quite a bit better.

Y’all, learn from this. Are your current feelings accurate for your current situation? How much of your current situation is being affected by past wounds and feelings?

(One of the healthiest things you can do is meet regularly with a friend for prayer and encouragement. It gives you a safe place to talk this stuff out. If you feel stuck or over your head, please seek professional help.)

Feelings are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.  Jonatan Mårtensson

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you identify your feelings and find the real source of any pain, anger or fear.

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Of The Hearth: Alternative Gift Exchange Ideas A dozen plus gift giving options.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Does Your Husband Look at Other Women? A little ruminating on how men and women notice physically attractive people.

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Running Interference

April 23, 2014

in other

I was trying to write when Widget, my dog, decided it was time to play. He jumped up on the bed, nudged me, “talked at me” (Rhodesian Ridgebacks are very vocal), and dropped his bone next to me (“Come on mom, play with me!”).

Paul saw my dilemma and grabbed the bone and called him to the other room for a little play time. 

Now Widget is peacefully curled up next to me, content and quiet. It was a lovely gift to have my husband run interference for me.

I’m looking for opportunities to do the same for him. Playful dogs, phone calls, and more can interrupt our days. When Paul is busy, I want to be there to run interference for him too.

The average American worker has fifty interruptions a day, of which seventy percent have nothing to do with work.  W. Edwards Deming

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Love and Respect: Why is Marriage So Hard? How you deal with conflict can make or break your marriage. 

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Marriage Adventures: We Still Do Habits that energize your relationship. (The Kindle version of their book Marriage Adventures is available for 99¢ this week. I’m reading it right now and their story offers a lot of success tips for your marriage.)

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The Art of Simple: The lost art of life pruning What do you need to cut out to have the marriage you dream of?

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What I’m Reading

January 31, 2014

in other

♥ ♥ ♥ 14 days until Valentine’s Day ♥ ♥ ♥

I’m always fascinated by other bloggers and their reading lists. It’s a window into their world and I find many a good resource. So, I thought I’d try something like that on the last day of each month.

Awhile back there was a sale on Kindle books and I snapped up several by Andy Andrews. They are relatively short, quick reads.

The Noticer (actually I read this one twice) – This is a sweet story of how a mysterious older gentleman befriends a young Andy and helps him turn his life around. The lessons learned are so poignant, it’s now on my “to read yearly” list.

The Noticer Returns – More great lessons as the mysterious older gentleman continues to help people turn their lives around. Also on my “to read yearly” list.

The Traveler’s Gift is highly motivational. The story centers around a man whose world is crumbling around him. He finds help by meeting various folks throughout history and learning truths from them. If you are feeling stuck it would be a good read.

The Butterfly Effect is an extremely short book that is designed to show you the great impact you can have on the world around you. I personally wouldn’t buy this one if you are buying any of the other books (as much of the material is in his other books).

I also read:

Unglued – I’ve seen this book around (the cover is cute) and when I ran across it at the library, I picked it up. If you are struggling with anger, fear, or any raw hurtful emotion, it’s a book written for you.

Revelation I’ve always been unhappy with  the last book of the Bible. Horses with lion heads and plagues galore. Geesh! To top it off there are multiple opinions as to what it all means! Well, awhile back I ran across Ben Witherington III (UK prof) and I really like his books. He writes college level so it’s a slow read, but I’m very impressed with his research and perspectives. I’m finally making peace with Revelation.

Jesus > Religion – Jeff Bethke created a video that went viral. This book expounds on his beliefs. He’s hard on religion, but he understands real grace and has an amazing handle of being the church, loving each other and reaching out to a world that needs Jesus. I tend to fall into the performance trap and this book was very helpful to me.

I’m a part of a group that is reading and discussing this book:

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality – I can’t recommend this book enough. It’s deeply challenging, but what a life changer. (my review)

To go along with that book I’m reading this book (it ties in very nicely):

Changes That Heal is written by Henry Cloud (of Boundaries fame). He talks you through the necessary steps of healing and maturing. Amazing read.

What are y’all reading? I’d love to hear. Please feel free to share in the comments.

The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from it.   James Bryce

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Journey to Surrender: Get Your Romance On! Be sure to check out the free download of Romantic Conversation Starters.

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Fierce Marriage: The Importance of Margin in Your Marriage I had to laugh at his first paragraph.  :)

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: Does He Just Want Sex for Valentine’s Day? The best gifts are tailored to the recipient.

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