Archive for the ‘dealing with self’ Category

Little Seeds

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

My husband and I had dinner with friends that we haven't seen in a couple of years.  It was so good to see that they were still happily married, had great kids, were surviving financially and had a solid place in a gathering of believers.  I couldn't have asked for better for them.

I am reminded again how important it is to have friends and encourage each other in your marriage relationship.  I think of the times that we spent with these friends and I know that we sowed a lot of good stuff in each others lives that is now bearing fruit.  I feel blessed down to my toes.

Any fool can count the seeds in an apple.  Only God can count all the apples in one seed. Robert H. Schuller

Be generous!  Lori <><

Be Creative / Simplify

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

From time to time I get an email from someone who feels they don't have the time to implement many of the tips (it's especially tough for moms of little ones). Realize that the generous tips are designed to give you a pool of ideas to use. If you cannot do the exact tip, give it a bit of thought to see if you can alter the tip to work for you (some seasons of life require more creativity than others). You don't have to do all the tips. They are there to inspire you in finding creative ways to bless your husband.

Having a day in the buff with your husband may not be possible, but making the bedroom a no clothes zone might be (hang a robe by the door). Going out to dinner may be nearly impossible, but sharing a late night snack after the kids are down is doable. Take the theme of the tip and see how it can be shaped to work for you.

If you have little ones, I encourage you to develop a set bedtime that is early enough to give you and your husband some couple time in the evening. Swap babysitting with another mom (and those of you with grown children might pray about offering to babysit for a young mother so that she can have some time with her husband, what a precious gift to offer another woman).

The other thing to consider (and this is for all of us) is that, generally speaking, we are all too busy. It may be time to carefully consider your obligations and choices and simplify life a bit so that you have more time for relationships, especially time for your husband. It's a personal call, but keep in mind that a relationship is generally as strong as the amount of effort and time that you put into it. Nourish your marriage.

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak. Hans Hoffman

Be generous!  Lori <><

Calm

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

One of the things that I have generally worked toward is being calm regardless of the circumstances. I pray for that kind of calm and I routinely keep an eye on my behavior, voice, etc. Now, please understand, that I'm not perfect. It's just a goal of mine and I'm growing in that ability. I think it's a good gift to give to your husband, kids, friends, etc.

So as a suggestion, I encourage y'all to watch how you act and speak. Don't expect perfection, just make being calm a general goal, learn from your mistakes, and keep practicing and learning.

Sometimes God calms the storm ... Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms the child. AuthorUnknown

Be generous!  Lori <><

Let It Go

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

When your husband says something that you disagree with, the immediate moment may not be the best time to contest what he says. Sometimes it's kinder and more respectful to deal with it later privately and sometimes it's really not all that important and can be passed over altogether.

Silence is a fence around wisdom. German Proverb

Be generous!  Lori <><

You Are More Important

Wednesday, February 24th, 2010

The other night my husband was scheduled to pick someone up from the airport.  He asked me to go along.  (nice couple time, sounds good, right?)  We-e-e-ell, I'd kind of been looking forward to a little quiet time with a good book (I am an introvert and I need that quiet, alone time to keep me balanced).  The kicker was that he really wanted my company and my going would make the conversation go more easily with the person he was picking up.

I ended up going with him and telling him that he was far more important than any book.  I did enjoy my time with him (not so much the pick up), and I was happy with my decision because he is extremely important to me and I want him to know that.

In the scope of life, does your husband know that he is important to you?  If not, what would it take to show him that he is?

Every single ancient wisdom and religion will tell you the same thing - don't live entirely for yourself, live for other people.  Don't get stuck inside your own ego, because it will become a prison in no time flat. Barbara Ward

Be generous!  Lori <><

Stop, Look and Listen

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

I've gotten into a very bad habit lately.  My husband will walk into the room and talk to me and I don't stop what I'm doing to listen.  What that means practically is that I don't really hear what he is talking about (and that leads to all kinds of misunderstandings) and I'm not really showing him respect.  He is far more important that anything I'm doing (he's polite and waits to get my attention and he would understand if I was embroiled in any real kind of emergency).

So learn from my bad.  Next time your husband speaks to you, stop what you are doing, look up and really give him the attention he deserves.

The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich

Be generous!  Lori <><

More Prayer

Sunday, February 21st, 2010

I encourage y'all to read a good book about prayer and then bless your husband with what you have learned (both in sharing with him and praying for him). It really helps to hear what others have to say about prayer. It helps to ruminate about the issue and generally get motivated to spend more time talking to the One Who loves us so much and wants to hear from us.

Pray. It isn't a sign of weakness; it is your strength. Orville Kelly

Be generous!  Lori <><

Picky, Picky

Thursday, February 18th, 2010

I have a friend who will pick at me sometimes.  She's got a poor sense of self worth and picking at others makes her feel better (and generally makes it hard for her to keep friends).  At first I was tempted to back away.  I so don't enjoy being picked on, but God just nudged me to stay - 1) for her, she needs friends and 2) because I need to deal with my own stuff.  I have wounds that she routinely tweaks.  It's painful, but it's a way of being able to see where I am still oversensitive, where I haven't learned kindness, or where I just need to grow up.

Now for the marriage thing ... Realize that there will be times when your husband is thoughtless, just not aware, or has wounds he is acting out over.  Sometimes you do need to set healthy boundaries, but sometimes it's just a good thing to let God teach you a thing or two about yourself, to get some healing, to learn a few kindness skills, or just to grow up a bit.

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. Author Unknown

Be generous!  Lori <><

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