Daily Generous Wife Tips » acts of service

Menu of Choices

The Generous Wife — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 09:30:37 +0000

Choices are fun. It's nice to have options and you usually get to do something that you enjoy.

As a fun idea, why not create different menus for your husband and give him the choice of what to do. You could do date menus, bedroom activity menus, or meal menus, just to name a few.

Don't wait for extraordinary opportunities. Seize common occasions and make them great. Orison Swett Marden

Be generous! Lori <><

Discussion on a Range of Topics

The Generous Wife — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 09:30:21 +0000

Here's an interesting tip that I received from a generous wife (thanks, Rebecca!).

.....

A while back I realized that I didn't know my husband as well as I wanted to. I didn't know what my most important jobs were to him, what really made him feel special, what made him feel uncomfortable, etc. So I decided to pick his brain. I typed up on separate lines things that I thought were important that I do on a range of topics. Here are some examples:

Keeping clutter down
Speaking well of you in front of others
Being on time
Greeting you when you come home
Asking for advice
Discussing spiritual things
Having breakfast with you before you go to work
Scheduling time out of the house so you can have some solitude
[and] some intimate topics [as well]

On and on, I think I had between 50-75 things. I printed the papers and cut them into strips.

Last night we went through them all. Categorized them into similar topics, and then it started. He explained his feelings on each item, and to my amazement I saw how little I knew my husband. He put things in categories like "important, please continue - or please improve", "makes me uncomfortable", "really nice, but not necessary", "non-issues, it doesn't make a difference" etc. Now I know where to put my energy and effort.

Things that I thought he would enjoy - like public verbal praise, really made him feel uncomfortable. Me greeting him at the door made him feel attacked sometimes, and guilty that I was dropping everything for him. Me spending time with him at breakfast was difficult because he's in "get ready for work" mode and not "lets sit and talk at breakfast" mode. It was eye opening and I feel so much closer to him.

It gave him the opportunity to express frustrations he had because certain needs weren't being met, and also allowed me to do the same. Now I understand more than ever my husband and see how incorrect I was in so many areas, and it only took about 2 hours. I can be a better wife, now - and he wants to be a better husband. Areas that I was afraid to ask about are now open topics.

I think it was the best thing I've ever done in my marriage.

.....

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. Benjamin Franklin

Links to blog posts that stood out to me this last week:
Simple Marriage: Are You Guilty of Making These Marriage Mistakes?
Gwen in Love: Good Intentions
Simple Mom: Back to Basics: Create a Home That Will Last Generations
The Marry Blogger: Batting 1000 & Flexing Your Marriage Muscles
The Dating Divas: Simply Spa ... At Home
The Romantic Vineyard had a truckload of good posts this last week. Just click on the link and enjoy.

Be generous! Lori <><

Push Through to Helpfulness

The Generous Wife — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 09:30:24 +0000

My husband asked for my help today. I really, really, really didn't want to. I'm tired (been working very hard over the last few days) and he wanted help painting (something I really, really, really don't like to do). The thing is, he's tired too. He's been working as hard (or harder) than I have, so I made myself get up and grab the bucket and paint brush. We worked for a couple of hours and got it all done. There was a nice sense of accomplishment and, for me, a lovely sense of "I'm glad I pushed through to being helpful." There's something about sacrificing a bit and being helpful that washes the soul. My husband was pretty grateful too. Overall a good day.

I encourage y'all to push through to helpfulness now and then too. On the receiving end it's such a blessing to have someone respond with a "yes" and help out. It builds a tenderness between folks and that's a good thing in a marriage.

We can do no great things, only small things with great love. Mother Teresa

Be generous! Lori <><

Thoughtfulness

The Generous Wife — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 09:30:01 +0000

Is there something that you do (or don't do) that really bothers your husband? Make the effort to change and bless your husband with your thoughtfulness.

Always be a little kinder than necessary. (paraphrased) James Barrie

Be generous! Lori <><

Random Can Be Good

The Generous Wife — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 09:30:09 +0000

Remember that bumper sticker that came out a few years back?

PRACTICE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS AND SENSELESS ACTS OF BEAUTY

That's not a bad idea. You don't need a special occasion to do good. Just do it and bless your husband with the spontaneity and generosity of what you do.

... be rich in good works ... be generous ... 1 Timothy 6:18 NAS

Be generous! Lori <><

Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®,
Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995
by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Vita Ups

The Generous Wife — Thu, 27 May 2010 09:30:10 +0000

Buy your husband some vitamins (my kids called them vita ups).

The liberal (generous) person shall be enriched, and he who waters shall himself be watered. Proverbs 11:5 Amplified

Be generous! Lori <><

(For those of you with kidlets - Summer Reading at Barnes & Nobles)

Zzzzzzzzz

The Generous Wife — Thu, 20 May 2010 09:30:36 +0000

Let your husband sleep in a bit (or run interference so that he can take a nap).

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. Ovid

Be generous! Lori <><