Cut the Criticism

February 27, 2017

in the generous life

Criticism is hurtful and hard to live with. We don’t want to go there with our husbands, but how do you talk about what’s bothering you without sounding like a shrew?

Cut the Criticism - Speak graciously about what's bothering you.

Here are a few ideas:

Look at your body language. Do you look tight and angry? Before you speak up, loosen up. Roll your shoulders a bit. Smile. Take a moment to relax and gather your thoughts. 
Watch your tone of voice. Stay calm and friendly-sounding. Start your conversation with kind or thoughtful words.
 Aim your concerns toward behavior and circumstance, not toward him personally. It’s a whole lot easier to hear, “hon, the mess in the garage is getting to me,” than, “you’re such a jerk!”
 Invite him to be a team player in solving the problem. Be willing to brainstorm and help. “Is there a good weekend this month? I’m willing to help out.”

Criticism is personal and tears down your spouse’s sense of self worth. It’s generally a litany of all they have done wrong.

Instead take the time to get yourself in a good place and speak graciously about what is bothering you.

Be an encourager. The world has enough critics already.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you have gracious speak, especially when faced with a problem.

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This Month’s Marriage Challenge Bless your husband with small acts of kindness and generosity.

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Holley Gerth: When It Looks Like It’s Over An excerpt from Holley’s new book. Sweet, sweet message.

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Kathi Lipp: What to Do When Your Husband is Overwhelmed Nice selection of ideas for those times when your husband is struggling.

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