The common scenario is the husband who is tough on the kids and the wife tends to pull toward permissiveness to balance her husband (or vice versa). It’s understandable, but really both folks wind up somewhere not quite healthy and not where they need to be.
This sort of thing can happen in all kinds of places in your marriage too.
If one spouse is a spender, the other spouse may become overly concerned with pinching pennies and saving. If one spouse is verbally abrupt to someone, the other may try to smooth things over (and wind up saying things they don’t mean or offering to do things they don’t really want to do). If someone becomes “too focused” on sex (or a particular act), the other may become a gatekeeper. One spouse may slack off on caring for the kids or the house or the dog and the other spouse goes into caregiver mode.
Now some of what I’ve mentioned might be a reasonable response as damage control in the short term (when your husband is overwhelmed at work, it’s OK to pick up the slack at home for a season), but do examine your own behavior and talk through any issues with your hubby man.
♥ Are you acting in ways you don’t like?
♥ Are you trying to balance out something your husband is doing/not doing?
♥ Where do you want to stand? How do you want to act?
♥ Can you step into that spot regardless of how your husband is acting?
Do pray for the situation and try to work through the problems, but in the meantime work to stand in a healthy place regardless of your husband’s choices.
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. Flora Whittemore
Prayer Prompt ♥ Ask God to help you see where you are standing off center.
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