Another What? Huh?

June 9, 2014

in the generous life

Last night my husband and I had a “difficult moment.”

We didn’t really fuss at each other, but we both felt belittled by our exchange.

I said, “You’re [doing this].” He said, “I’m [doing that].” We disagreed “nicely,” but we both had wounds that made it feel like we were calling each other stupid. <sigh>

At least we played nice and were able to talk through our feelings. We offered each other encouragement (“Of course, you’re not stupid.”).

In retrospect, one thing that would have helped is if I had not labeled or defined his behavior. Telling him what he was doing was a bad plan and I’m sure felt quite disrespectful. I don’t like it when people do that to me either.

The tricky part will be in paying attention to my own words. I need to talk about what is happening to/with me and let him work out his half of the exchange. “I don’t understand” or “I don’t know what you are asking for” might have been a better choice.

Communication works for those who work at it. John Powell

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Whitney @ Come Home For Comfort June 9, 2014 at 4:16 am

“Telling him what he was doing was a bad plan.” Ouch. Guilty! Thanks for the reminder this morning!

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FarAboveRubies June 9, 2014 at 9:55 am

Guilty here too! I need to ask forgiveness right away, then approach it like you recommended. Thank you.

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