There are Other Options, Really

February 25, 2014

in the generous life

Often when I talk to unhappy wives, I hear something like this:

“My husband won’t do [whatever] and I ‘can’t’ be happy unless he does [whatever].”

Problem #1 – You’re saying you know better how he should act, that your standards are better.
Problem #2 – You can’t make your husband do what you want him to do.
Problem #3 – If you make your happiness dependent on another’s behavior you are doomed to a life of unhappiness.

It hurts when our needs and wishes are unmet. I’m not discounting that or saying you shouldn’t be hurt or grieved by someone else’s behavior. What I am saying is you have other options that will make your life saner.

Solution #1 – Be open to loving your husband the way he was designed. Make room for his perspectives, ideas and ways of doing life.
Solution #2 – Ask for what you want and need and then trust God to work in and through the situation. Be willing to learn to communicate better. Be willing to find 3rd alternatives.
Solution #3 – Choose to be happy regardless of the circumstances. I’m not saying don’t be sad, don’t grieve, etc. There is a time and place for that. However, in the overall scope of life, find reasons to be grateful and happy.

We are not perfect. Our husbands are not perfect. There will be fusses and unmet needs. Just be aware there is still tremendous good in you and your husband. There are other options. Disappointments or one person’s behavior doesn’t have to put your life in the toilet.

It’s not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us.  Stephen Covey

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Do Not Disturb: Marriage Strong, Energy Poor For when you face tough times.

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Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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