Dump the Hunks

January 20, 2014

in the generous life

Recently I sent out a tweet that got a fair amount of attention.

Gals, please remove that male eye candy from your Pinterest. Your husband is the man for you!

I don’t know how it slipped in there, but somehow it has become OK to pin hunky guys on Pinterest. But is that really wise?

I would be really put out if my husband started pinning gorgeous female actresses and models on his Pinterest boards (OK, so he doesn’t actually have an account, but if he did I’d be unhappy about the gals). I would wonder why he wanted to spend time looking at that standard of beauty and, honestly, I would be hurt that he seemed to value that kind of beauty (a beauty I don’t have, especially as I age). Being his wife, I want to be special to him. I’d like for him to appreciate my brand of beauty and grace.

I have to think that the effect is the same for the guys. It’s gotta hurt.

And, honestly, viewing a lot of something you don’t have tends to make you dissatisfied with what you do have. You know, that real man (with his own brand of gorgeous) that loves you and shares his life with you.

It’s a bad plan all around. So dump the showy hunks. Keep the real love of your life.

Outer beauty pleases the EYE. Inner beauty captivates the HEART. Mandy Hale

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

LJ January 20, 2014 at 5:45 am

And while you’re at it, stop reading romance novels and erotica. Let him be enough.

Yes, and amen!

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Rachael January 20, 2014 at 5:47 am

I completely agree!! My heart breaks a little each time when I hear women, especially Christian women, talking about 50 shades of grey and men as eye candy. My husband is not a hot guy, as far as what the media would have people to belive, but he’s the hottest man in the world to me!!!

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Megan@DoNotDisturb January 20, 2014 at 6:45 am

Right on! So thankful for voices like yours who remind wives what is most important. Thanks for saying what needs to be said in a gentle and kind way.

Megan

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Casey January 20, 2014 at 7:26 am

Well said! I’ve been seeing an increase of these pictures on Pinterest and completely agree!

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Reina January 20, 2014 at 2:27 pm

I, too, cannot stand when women drool over celebrities and athletes. Like you said in your post, I would be very irked if my husband put pictures up of other gorgeous females.
And if your man DOES put up pictures of other women, don’t stoop to that level. You’re not going to change his mind by showing how you “lust” after other men.

You should both only have eyes for each other!

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Happy Home Fairy January 20, 2014 at 6:17 pm

This was an incredibly important post. Thank you for being so truthful and loving. I am sharing this on my Facebook page. I especially liked the line about when we spend a lot of time viewing what we don’t have it makes us dissatisfied with what we do have… I recently purged my inbox and Instagram of all the blogs I followed that made life seem so easy and perfect. I really got tangled up in a lot of jealousy and discontentment that robbed me of the joy as satisfaction found in Christ alone. It is so critical that – in this ever darkening world – we start making drastic moves to be closer to Him. If your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light… Matthew 6:22 Love what u do here, girl. Keep it up.

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Virginetta January 20, 2014 at 7:21 pm

I totally agree. The perfect man for you is your husband not some man you never ment.

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Lori - The Generous Wife January 20, 2014 at 9:20 pm

Thanks, all, for sharing your perspectives about this issue. I love hearing from marriage-positive gals!

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libl January 21, 2014 at 4:17 am

I think women do this to get back at men for all their eye candy. Can’t beat ’em, join ’em sort of thing.

These pics sometimes pop up on my facebook feed. I roll my eyes and hide them. Why, ladies? Is your man hurting you with his wandering eyes?

I will say those memes with Ryan Gosseling or whoever that actor is where it says stuff like, “hey babe, you look hot in those sweats. Let me massage your feet while we watch Downtown Abbey together,” do more for me than some “hunk.” It isn’t Ryan’s face or physique…I could care less about that…it’s the cherishing words and selfless actions that do it. But, even those can cause discontentment in a marriage. I have to avoid them.

They say that a generous wife in the bedroom and one who keeps herself cared for can help her husband avoid temptations. Well, a husband who takes care of himself and plays out a few of those memes can help a wife, too!!

Nothing says lack of sexy more than husband lounged in the recliner watching the same ol’.shoot ’em up movies and acting like only a woman has the capability of getting a beer out of the fridge.

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Hannah January 21, 2014 at 9:28 am

It’s a disturbing trend I’ve noticed too. Your spouse is your standard of beauty. Period. I really enjoy gazing at my husband on occasion and every time I do I notice something new about him. And it makes me all the more attracted to him.

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Melanie January 20, 2016 at 3:41 am

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for addressing this subject!!! While I haven’t noticed my friends on Pinterest engage in this activity, I definitely have seen my fair share of it (along with men shaming/blaming memes) on Facebook among my MARRIED female friends. Sometimes they themselves will post, sometimes a “friend” will share it and tag them, but none the less, its being shared and promoted. I truly don’t understand the disrespect these women have towards their husbands, their marriage, and themselves. I don’t care how “out of shape” your husband is, sharing these pictures does not encourage him to be so, and is allowing yourself to be involved in mental infidelity. Have joy and bedroom eyes for YOUR man, the man YOU chose!!!

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