From The Generous Wife archive:
Dan, of Leadership Freak, has an amazing post on Drift. It’s a business-y type post but much of what he writes applies to marriage as well.
Drift is where you take your eyes off of where you are going and you slowly move
away from your intended direction. The busyness of life can easily make that happen in marriage as well as business.
This point really stood out to me:
“Pointing out drift makes you look foolish because drift is no big deal at first.”
I’ve been there. I’d be busy, my husband would be busy and I’d start noticing the little things. We’d miss a shared meal or two. Our conversations were more surface or we weren’t talking as much.
It’s easy to feel a bit foolish about pointing out the drift. It’s small and it’s just temporary, right?
The problem is that the nature of drift is that it is subtle. You take a small step and then another. Then one day you wake up and your relationship with your husband is distant. All those small (seemingly insignificant) steps have carried you apart.
My point in all of this is to take drift seriously and create some small red flags that warn you that you are drifting. Have you missed a couple of meals together this week? No sex in a week? Perhaps you haven’t had your usual talk in awhile? What signals tell you that your marriage relationship is starting to drift?
Watch for those warning signs, take note, and just as you made those small steps to drift away, choose to make different small steps so that you drift right back toward intimacy with your sweetie.
Drift may look small, but it’s a big enemy.
Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” he whispered. “Yes, Piglet?” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw. “I just wanted to be sure of you.” A.A. Milne
The Marriage Bed: Do You Use Porn? Survey Please take this anonymous survey to help folks get a better picture of what is going on. I know Paul wants to write several articles about porn use and how it affects people and their marriages. I will share the results as well because it is such a prevalent problem in our culture. What’s going on and what can we do to help?
Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 10 Ideas for Living Healthier in 2014 – Small Steps, Big Changes Self care is so important. You can’t give out if you are exhausted and worn.
Intimacy in Marriage: 5 Things I Tell Young Wives About SEX Sexual wisdom for newlyweds (and oldlyweds too).