Cranky and Fighting for Control

January 8, 2014

in the generous life

I just read What Our Kids Really Hear When We Yell and I truly felt convicted. (It’s about getting cranky when we’re not in control and, thankfully, Kristen offers some wise thoughts about dealing with our own fussiness as well.)

My word for this year is “gracious” and, boy howdy, every time I turn around I’m convicted over being cranky, short and generally unhelpful.

I’m examining the “why” and it’s almost always about control. <sigh>

Why am I being cranky? Someone is being an inconvenience (they’re interrupting my plan) or someone isn’t doing what I want them to do (silly person, don’t they see my way is better).

So, I’ve been doing a fair amount of thinking about serving and loving and generally doing things God’s way, instead of my own.

If I survive this year, there is hope I will be a somewhat more gracious woman.

Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.  1 John 3:18  ESV


Happy Wives Club: Happy Wives Club Book In Stores Today! Fawn’s new book is in the bookstores! Yeah! Seriously it’s a great book. Pick up a copy for yourself and one for a friend.


Too Darn Happy: Marriage: What story do you want to tell? Don’t settle for the ordinary.


The Better Mom: A Cranky Wife’s Life Ohmygosh! Crankiness seems to be going around.


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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

valerie January 8, 2014 at 5:35 am

Thanks for sharing. I’ve been dealing with this too. I lost control with my youngest yesterday. I’ve been fasting and was cranky and tired of the whining. I needed to spend some time alone with God/rest and kept doing what Valerie had planned for the day: I was stretched thin.

I too want to be more gracious in my responses to my family. I tend to be snippy or rude at times. I am with them 24/7 and they see me at my best and worst.

I have had several, “Ah-HA!” moments this morning. Everything seems to be pointing to being empty of me and full of Him; also, a loving, humble servant who forgives rather than frets (to be hot, furious, burn, become angry, be kindled full of wrath…). God also shared with me that He made me to interact, love and encourage others as well as discipline (children). Not to be afraid to interact with others (I worry about being distracted from God by the world) People and the creatures He made aren’t to be a distraction. Then He encouraged me to trust Him to guide me….listening to the still small voice rather than pressing on to do what I want.

This was what I read today:
In my 21 day fast devotion (

Can two walk together, unless they are agreed? – Amos 3:3, NKJV

In the heart of every believer is the desire to walk closely with God. We know that He, too, desires a close relationship with each one of us. A key to having a strong level of spiritual intimacy with God is living in agreement with His will for your life.

In Genesis 5:22, we read Enoch and see that his life modeled a long journey, walking consistently with God, for it says, “Enoch walked with God three hundred years.” Enoch lived a powerful life. He was a man who walked in agreement with God’s will and lived a life pleasing to God (Hebrews 11:5).

It is one thing to know God’s will for our lives; it’s another to live in agreement with His will. In order to enjoy the best life that God has for us, we must first understand that God does not
change, but we sometimes must. Let’s earnestly seek to know and agree with God’s will. The
level of our agreement with God will determine the degree of closeness in our walk with Him.

“I believe firmly, that the moment our hearts are emptied of pride and selfishness and ambition and self seeking, and everything that is contrary to God’s law, the Holy Ghost will come and fill every corner of our hearts; but if we are full of pride and conceit, and ambition and self seeking, and pleasure and the world, there is no room for the Spirit of God; and I believe many a man is praying to God to fill him when he is full already with something else. Before we pray that God would fill us, I believe we ought to pray Him to empty us.” – D. L. Moody

My prayer was to be empty of me and full of Christ.

Then I read two more passages

Luke 5:20-26
The Son of Man Forgives and Heals
17 On one of those days while He was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea, and also from Jerusalem. And the Lord’s power to heal was in Him. 18 Just then some men came, carrying on a mat a man who was paralyzed. They tried to bring him in and set him down before Him. 19 Since they could not find a way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on the mat through the roof tiles into the middle of the crowd before Jesus.
20 Seeing their faith He said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven you.”
21 Then the scribes and the Pharisees began to think: “Who is this man who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
22 But perceiving their thoughts, Jesus replied to them, “Why are you thinking this in your hearts?[i] 23 Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? 24 But so you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—He told the paralyzed man, “I tell you: Get up, pick up your mat, and go home.”
25 Immediately he got up before them, picked up what he had been lying on, and went home glorifying God. 26 Then everyone was astounded, and they were giving glory to God. And they were filled with awe and said, “We have seen incredible things today!”

I was pondering that Jesus came to us (the world) in love and to forgive us. Not to condemn and destroy us. His love wins us over. So, I should forgive and love those around me and not fret.

Last passage is found in Ephesians 4:2,

“Always be humble (like a servant) and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.”

I am feeling inspired and grateful that we serve a loving, forgiving God who wants to interact with us and fill us with His love, grace, and mercy.


Lori - The Generous Wife January 8, 2014 at 11:02 am

I hear you on the servant thing. There’s a certain level of humility that is important. We have needs and wants (that we need to meet), but we need to value and serve others as well.

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Philippians 2:4 ESV


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