One Little Step for 2014

December 28, 2013

in the generous life

People that set goals really do accomplish more than those who don’t. That said, goals can pretty much drive you crazy if they are not do-able and sane.

I’ve talked a bit about challenging yourself to grow your marriage in 2014 by dealing with yourself (because that’s the only person you can really change), but I don’t want anyone to feel overwhelmed. 

What I would suggest is to walk through your day and look for those areas of your relationship that have a bit of friction. Envision how you would like it to look and ask yourself what one small thing you can do to improve the situation.  We’re talking about one small step. When you get that down you can move on to another step, but don’t be in a hurry about it. We are going for doable and totally sane.

 

For some it might be listening to the tone of your voice and learning to speak more pleasantly. For others it might be praying for your husband when you’re doing the laundry, initiating sex once a week or learning to stay on budget.

Make your goal SMART (which stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, with a Targeted Time). You want to have something that is specific and measurable (like I will pick up the living room 10 minutes before hubby gets home from work) rather than general (I know my husband would like the home to be neater). When you get that down you can dejunk the entertainment center or figure out what to do with the plethora of newspapers and magazines that take over your coffee table. Baby step your way through in small simple ways. You can even grab a friend to help you brainstorm and stay on track.

I’m going to put my goal on a slip of paper by my computer because I will see it several times a day (I’m working on being more specific in communicating what I want and need, turns out Paul doesn’t read minds or take hints, imagine that). Even if I totally blow it one day, the goal will be there the next day for a fresh start.

Remember – Our goal is to pick one thing to work on in the new year. Small, simple and do-able.

How am I going to live today in order to create the tomorrow I’m committed to?  Anthony Robbins

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The Romantic Vineyard: It Matters Be quick to apologize.

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Storyline: What I Learned From My Big Brother About Those Who Hurt Me Sweet story of encouragement and grace. Interesting marriage applications.

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There are a whole mess of Christian Kindle ebooks on sale at Amazon for $2.99 or less through January 3rd. Check it out. Included is Love & Respect, Real MarriageEmotionally Healthy Spirituality, Boundaries in Marriage and more.

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Evelyn Jones December 28, 2013 at 9:59 pm

I never really follow through with my New Year’s resolution, but I just might this year! :)

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Lori - The Generous Wife December 29, 2013 at 9:03 am

I’m rather hopeful this year too. I have my sticky note by my computer and it will stay there all year and I’m going to get back up on the horse any time I fall off.

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Tonya January 1, 2014 at 7:41 pm

I’m feeling a little overwhelmed in what to make my goal. I do know I want to focus on it. It seems like actively working on my marriage gets kicked to the back burner in life’s daily grind. Hmm…my tone of voice, my nagging about his hours at work (trying to control), communicating respectfully my needs/wants, read blogs on healthy marriage tips, etc…
Thanks for your posts! Tonya

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