Focus on Your Stuff

October 24, 2013

in the generous life

Last year about this time I was writing in the CMBA half marathon by writing “13 Things I’ve Learned About Marriage.” (The full series is here.)

As I was looking through the series, this one stood out to me.

#11 – Focus on your stuff. 

It’s easy to see where your husband needs to grow a bit or where he is messing up, but, honestly, is there anything that you can do about it? You can be a mirror (please be a kind one), but you cannot affect any kind of change in him. It’s his choice.

By the same token, you are the only one who can change you. Put your energy there. We all need to grow and learn to do life better. We play a part in our marriage relationship and any problems there. We can also be a part of the solution. We can model change, humility, healthy boundaries and so much more. 

Don’t spend oodles of time trying to change your husband. Focus on your own stuff.

You must be the change you wish to see in the world your marriage.  Mahatma Gandhi (correction mine)


Storyline: Why I Quit Being Nice Kind is better.


The Romantic Vineyard: 50 Shades Of Grace In Marriage – Part 3 I’ve really enjoyed this series. It’s good to have this challenge to soften my heart toward my husband.


Becoming Minimalist: How to Stage Your Home for Living Don’t wait until you are selling to spiff up your home. Do a bit of work and enjoy your home now.


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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Robyn Gibson October 24, 2013 at 10:02 am

Awesome post!


Chris October 25, 2013 at 5:06 am

You can never change your husband nor can you change your wife. When they make a choice to be a certain way, they will stay that way for as long as they want. Only God can change them for the better though! This is a good post. It does speak truth.


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