My husband asked, “Where’s the butter dish?”
You might think that’s an ordinary question. On the surface, yes, but it sparked off quite the fussy match between my husband and me.
A little later we talked about the “messages” behind our words and why we react as we do.
I felt he was making me responsible to know where everything is in the house. Aside from the fact that it’s not always possible, it touched off an old wound where accusation and blame still played.
We’re going to work to be more aware our tone of voice and our choice of words, and I’m going to spend some time in prayer over those old wounds.
It pays to talk through fussy matches … later … when calmer heads rule.
We do not learn from experience… we learn from reflecting on experience. John Dewey
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Image credit (c) Lori Byerly