Sex is Important Stuff

October 18, 2013

in the generous life

A few days ago I wrote a post about time use and scheduling time for the important stuff.

I alluded to sex, but I want to take a moment and make it really, really plain.

Sex is important stuff.
It’s the kind of thing you want to make time for.
Don’t let busyness routinely push it out of your day. 

With the holidays approaching and all the busyness that brings, don’t forget to plan and make time for sex with your husband. It’s more important that dusting the living room. It’s more important than checking Facebook (or Pinterest, now I’ve gone to meddling). It’s more important than that third activity for your kids.

You are your husband’s only sexual partner. If you don’t have sex, you are both left hungry and vulnerable. 

Knowing the season of the year, be intentional about simplifying your life and making time for sex over the next few months. 

The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak.  Hans Hofmann


Journey to Surrender: Planes, Trains and Automobiles How to stay connected over the miles.


The Forgiven Wife: Repentance and Transformation You deal with your stuff. I’ll deal with mine.


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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Cassie October 18, 2013 at 6:30 am

This has been on my mind lately as well! I wrote a post entitles 8 ways we are selfish lovers and 4 ways to be servant lovers this past week. They both helped me make sure my focus was where it needed to be in our sex life. Thank you for adding to that topic for me!


Lori - The Generous Wife October 18, 2013 at 10:00 am

8 Ways We Are Selfish Lovers From “Real Marriage”
4 Tips On How To Be A Servant Lover

I think the thing that amazes me the most is the more you give the more you receive. We always think it will be so hard to give, to serve. Yet God has built into His Kingdom a law of sowing and reaping. Not only do we get to love on our husbands, but we get blessed in the process.


jennifer October 18, 2013 at 7:25 am

this is a great reminder. I made a point of this many years ago and it has transformed my marriage. not only do I love my husband more but I love myself more and am so much happier. I know it sounds morbid , but it motivated me to think…if my husband died tomorrow, what joy had I given him that I could, and what joy would I lose and maybe never regain? it was a sort of live for today epiphany.


Lori - The Generous Wife October 18, 2013 at 9:57 am

Actually that’s a great perspective. We are only promised this moment.


Gaye October 18, 2013 at 11:56 am

This is a great reminder, especially with a busy time of year almost upon us. Most of us probably wouldn’t say that perfect gifts, perfect decorations, perfect food, etc. are more important than our sexual relationship with our husband, but sometimes we act that way (or at least I do!)


Ann October 19, 2013 at 12:42 pm

Can you urge your hubby to post this to the men? Couple times a month isn’t doing it for me(almost always initiated by me), and I confess I have been feeling weak and tempted because of this. Thank you.


Lori - The Generous Wife October 19, 2013 at 2:50 pm

Paul routinely reminds the guys that sex is a two way street. We women need to be sexually satisfied too!


Amy November 29, 2013 at 8:50 pm

My husband doesn’t think sex is important at all, been married 45+ years and we had sex once in those years. It was our first, last and only time. Husband told me that I was and sex were so vile and disgusting, pointless, smelly, messy not worth the effort or time. Since then he won’t sleep with me and has moved to the basement to be away from me. I’m not to talk or even try to associate with him. a lot more to the true story!


Lori - The Generous Wife November 30, 2013 at 11:27 am

Amy, I encourage you to get a counselor for yourself. This is a very long standing problem that is going to take third party help. A good counselor can walk you through your options and give you ideas for creating a relationship with your husband.


Amy December 22, 2013 at 3:47 pm

I’ve can honestly say I’ve done the counseling thing more than once! My counselor, plus the minister from my church, even his mom when she was alive nothing has helped. When these people would come over to the house and try to reason with him he would just walk out and get in his car and drive away. If he had any friends I would try that but as far as I know he hasn’t one friend. He has no touch with the outside world he seems to enjoy his hermit life, with a long scraggly beard and shoulder length hair. He would pass as a homeless person who lives under a bridge down town. He does seem to enjoy working in his shop and keeping together his old car. I’ve personally have given up on him, he doesn’t want help or me around. Were in our mid 60’s and I will leave sleeping dogs lie. You might wonder if he is violent or suicide traits, no he doesn’t, he is very calm .


Lori - The Generous Wife December 22, 2013 at 4:37 pm

I think my advice is still the same. Get a counselor for yourself. You need someone who will help you sort out your life and your choices. What you are facing is not healthy. No, you can’t make your husband do anything, but it would certainly be encouraging to have someone to talk to and be a sounding board for what choices you do have in your life and marriage relationship.


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