Role Expectations

August 28, 2013

in the generous life

My husband has taken on more of the cooking. He is having so much fun playing with ingredients and spices. It’s a creative outlet for him.

At first I felt odd and then a bit guilty over it, but then I realized I was just having a role crisis. Women cook and men go to work. Right?

Now that my husband and I both work from home (he used to work hours in the Texas heat), why shouldn’t he play in the kitchen and do what he enjoys?

Each of us come to marriage with role expectations. Certain things are the husband’s job and certain other things are the wife’s job. Some of this is cultural (overall culture or your growing up family’s culture) and some is what works well for our biology (women make babies and usually keep the home while they’re caring for the babies).

I’m not suggesting a role reversal. I’m just suggesting that not all role expectations will work for your marriage or work during different seasons of life. If your husband likes to vacuum and you want to take out the trash. Go for it.

In your marriage, what is working and what’s not? Talk this through with your husband and make choices that work for you.

From now on, I’ll connect the dots my own way.  Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes

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God’s funny.  :)  After writing the above, I ran across these two posts: Negotiating Chores with Your Husband (To Love, Honor and Vacuum) and “That’s a Mans Job”: 3 Scenarios Where We Need To Rethink Gender Roles (Black and Married With Kids)


The Romantic Vineyard: Creative Dates Inspired By Song of Solomon – Part 2 More date ideas!


365 Less Things: Let go of your “should” clutter and What Travel Teaches Us Two great articles that will help you simply your life.



{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathleen August 28, 2013 at 6:35 pm

I am eternally grateful that my husband cooks for us, and does it WELL! I can’t imagine being the only one who cooks like my mom was…poor gal.


Cassie August 30, 2013 at 6:20 am

I am glad you posted about this! I feel like in our marriage we have a lot of role reversals. I have written about the topic as well. It is not uncommon for me to do the lawn, clean out the gutters, etc and for him to cook dinner or do laundry. For us we really just pick up where things need to be done. With our schedules it makes our roles a bit different than typical roles.


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