Use Your Words

June 6, 2013

in the generous life

I was standing in a store aisle when my husband called to let me know that he was at register 13. Being a typical guy, he had his list of things to get, he’d picked up the items and was standing in line to check out.

Being a typical gal, I was so not ready to check out … and I was a bit perturbed about being rushed. I walked to the front and checked out with him. And then I grumped inwardly as I walked to the car.

About halfway there I realized how silly I was being. I just needed to speak up and speak plainly. I’m different that my sweetie and sometimes I need to let him know what’s going on. Can’t expect him to always know what I’m thinking or what I need. 

Words, Lori. Use your words.

It sounds so trite but in relationships, you have to communicate.  Peter Krause

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Kay June 6, 2013 at 5:26 am

I have been so guilty about not using my words. I used to hold everything inside when it came to my husband, which resulted in pent-up anger. I had to realize that no matter what, my husband loves me and wants the best for me. He can’t read my mind, so I shouldn’t expect him to be able to. It’s not fair for me to expect him to know something I haven’t shared with him.

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Jay Dee - SexWithinMarriage.com June 6, 2013 at 6:04 am

Not only use your words, but use them in a loving way. We see a lot of spouses “using their words”, but it is with such spite, malevolence and disrespect towards each other that they probably would have been better off staying silent.

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The Generous Wife June 6, 2013 at 10:45 am

@Kay I hear you. My husband is a sweetheart. He’s willing to meet my needs. He just needs to know about them … which is my job.

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The Generous Wife June 6, 2013 at 10:46 am

@ Jay Dee Certainly. I’m all for taking a deep breath and thinking through what you need to communicate so that it comes out kind and gracious.

My concern with your comment is that women will read it as a fearful reason for not communicating. Women are taught to “go along” and to “quietly submit.” Any sign of ungraciousness and we are not being “respectful.” We end up living a half life because we are afraid of not communicating in a “right” way.

Yes, women need to think through how they speak, but, honestly, we are going to make mistakes and we need to be loved and encouraged through the process of learning to communicate our needs in a loving way. Same for men.

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