Kate of One Flesh Marriage shared 10 Confessions of a Marriage Blogging Wife. I thought it was great because it showed “real life” and made “growing your marriage” feel more real and do-able. This gal blogs beautifully about marriage and yet, like you and me, she is just one gal moving through life, trying to have a healthy marriage.
Truth is we are all in process (y’all, take all those folk off the pedestals). God is growing us up to look like Jesus and we are on the way. We have not arrived. We can learn from each other and be encouraged by each other. And, hopefully, we can offer grace to each other.
In the interest of sharing a bit of reality, here are my 10 confessions.
1. I don’t study my Bible every day. I usually get around to it a few times a week (right now I’m in Philippians). I do pray every day because I’ve worked to have conversation all day with God. I try not to do too much of that out loud (no need in worrying folks if you don’t have to).
2. I’m amazed at what The Generous Wife has become. I started the blog because I was frustrated. I had tried to do several things and I just kept being told “no.” It was a difficult time in my life where little outside of my marriage was working. It’s amazing how God can work good out of bad.
3. I’ve had body image issues all my life. My older sister was beautiful. I was beanpole of a kid. By the time I figured out I looked just fine, I started gaining weight. I’ve struggled with weight for a number of years now and I’m just now getting a handle on a healthy life. I’ve lost around 25 pounds and I’m learning to keep it off. There are days that losing one pound feels small and insignificant because I have more to go. Then there are the effects of aging – the drooping, the wrinkles …
I realized one day that I was saying no to opportunities because of my appearance. That really got to me. God and people are more important than that, so I’ve been listening to God and my sweetie more and tuning out my culture. Some days I do pretty well. Other days not so much.
4. I hate scrubbing the bathtub, so it doesn’t get done often enough. (If you ever come to my house, please don’t peek.) Other than that, my house stays neat (everything has a place) and housework gets done when it gets done. When I had my kids at home (I’m now an empty-nester) I had the same struggles y’all have (I think Legos should have warning labels on the package).
5. I was sexually abused as a kid. It has been unbelievably tough facing and dealing with it. If God wasn’t the nicest nag I would probably be living in a padded cell drinking jello through a straw. In retrospect it’s been worth it, but sometimes I just want to wail about all the abuse in the world. My favorite tool is Theophostic Prayer (yes, I know at first glance it looks kind of goofy, but it’s the real deal). My sex life is pretty good now. I’ve learned to enjoy and look forward to sex. I think that would be called a miracle.
6. I’m surprised at the changes in my life as an empty-nester. I used to carry my kids around in the back of my head. I knew where they were and what they needed pretty much at all times. That’s all gone, so there’s like a hole in my head. I also used to bake cookies and color and drive the kids places and … that’s all gone too.
So far I’m handling it OK (though there’s a little bitter/sweet nostalgia going on). I’m having a good time with my sweetie working and playing. I’m trying to let go of one season gracefully and pick up the new season with excitement.
7. I like mystery novels. They’re usually creative and they make for a bit of entertainment when I need a break. I stay away from most romance novels. I had a couple of run ins with them during my life where I used them for escape. I decided that the real people in my real life deserved a real wife/mom/friend so I gave them up.
8. I’m blessed to have great friends. It wasn’t always so. I’ve been through some dry seasons where I felt very much alone, so I am very grateful for the friends I have now.
9. I’m struggling with my current church situation. I love the people in my local gathering, but there isn’t much of a place for me to serve. I greet folks at the door, help with clean up, help facilitate a small group and generally encourage anyone I can. I just feel like I’m not using my gifts there. I’m praying about what that might look like.
10. I love spending time with my husband. We work from home so we are together most of the time. It works pretty well for us. I’m kind of mystified as to how that happened. I’m just glad it works.
Feel free to add your own confessions, both your successes and your struggles. We can learn from and be encouraged by the lives of others.
Hot, Holy and Humorous: Holy or Happy? What’s the Purpose of Marriage? Preach it, preach it, preach it!
Calm Healthy Sexy: “Rolling Things Around” in Your Mind Give yourself time to think.
The Forgiven Wife: A Blessed Wife This post is an amazing expression of the ripple effect of change.