Confession Time

April 16, 2013

in the generous life

Kate of One Flesh Marriage shared 10 Confessions of a Marriage Blogging Wife. I thought it was great because it showed “real life” and made “growing your marriage” feel more real and do-able. This gal blogs beautifully about marriage and yet, like you and me, she is just one gal moving through life, trying to have a healthy marriage.

Truth is we are all in process (y’all, take all those folk off the pedestals). God is growing us up to look like Jesus and we are on the way. We have not arrived. We can learn from each other and be encouraged by each other. And, hopefully, we can offer grace to each other.

In the interest of sharing a bit of reality, here are my 10 confessions.

1. I don’t study my Bible every day. I usually get around to it a few times a week (right now I’m in Philippians). I do pray every day because I’ve worked to have conversation all day with God. I try not to do too much of that out loud (no need in worrying folks if you don’t have to).

2. I’m amazed at what The Generous Wife has become. I started the blog because I was frustrated. I had tried to do several things and I just kept being told “no.” It was a difficult time in my life where little outside of my marriage was working. It’s amazing how God can work good out of bad.

3. I’ve had body image issues all my life. My older sister was beautiful. I was beanpole of a kid. By the time I figured out I looked just fine, I started gaining weight. I’ve struggled with weight for a number of years now and I’m just now getting a handle on a healthy life. I’ve lost around 25 pounds and I’m learning to keep it off. There are days that losing one pound feels small and insignificant because I have more to go. Then there are the effects of aging – the drooping, the wrinkles …

I realized one day that I was saying no to opportunities because of my appearance. That really got to me. God and people are more important than that, so I’ve been listening to God and my sweetie more and tuning out my culture. Some days I do pretty well. Other days not so much.

4. I hate scrubbing the bathtub, so it doesn’t get done often enough. (If you ever come to my house, please don’t peek.) Other than that, my house stays neat (everything has a place) and housework gets done when it gets done. When I had my kids at home (I’m now an empty-nester) I had the same struggles y’all have (I think Legos should have warning labels on the package).

5. I was sexually abused as a kid. It has been unbelievably tough facing and dealing with it. If God wasn’t the nicest nag I would probably be living in a padded cell drinking jello through a straw. In retrospect it’s been worth it, but sometimes I just want to wail about all the abuse in the world. My favorite tool is Theophostic Prayer (yes, I know at first glance it looks kind of goofy, but it’s the real deal). My sex life is pretty good now. I’ve learned to enjoy and look forward to sex. I think that would be called a miracle.

6. I’m surprised at the changes in my life as an empty-nester. I used to carry my kids around in the back of my head. I knew where they were and what they needed pretty much at all times. That’s all gone, so there’s like a hole in my head. I also used to bake cookies and color and drive the kids places and … that’s all gone too.

So far I’m handling it OK (though there’s a little bitter/sweet nostalgia going on). I’m having a good time with my sweetie working and playing. I’m trying to let go of one season gracefully and pick up the new season with excitement.

7. I like mystery novels. They’re usually creative and they make for a bit of entertainment when I need a break. I stay away from most romance novels. I had a couple of run ins with them during my life where I used them for escape. I decided that the real people in my real life deserved a real wife/mom/friend so I gave them up.

8. I’m blessed to have great friends. It wasn’t always so. I’ve been through some dry seasons where I felt very much alone, so I am very grateful for the friends I have now.

9. I’m struggling with my current church situation. I love the people in my local gathering, but there isn’t much of a place for me to serve. I greet folks at the door, help with clean up, help facilitate a small group and generally encourage anyone I can. I just feel like I’m not using my gifts there. I’m praying about what that might look like.

10. I love spending time with my husband. We work from home so we are together most of the time. It works pretty well for us. I’m kind of mystified as to how that happened. I’m just glad it works.

Feel free to add your own confessions, both your successes and your struggles. We can learn from and be encouraged by the lives of others.

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Hot, Holy and Humorous: Holy or Happy? What’s the Purpose of Marriage? Preach it, preach it, preach it!


Calm Healthy Sexy: “Rolling Things Around” in Your Mind Give yourself time to think.


The Forgiven Wife: A Blessed Wife This post is an amazing expression of the ripple effect of change.



{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Viviana April 16, 2013 at 6:22 am

I agree with you completely, but about romance novels, I feel if we delve deeper into the subject, then we can find many important tips and exercises that can help us in our own relationship.

By the way, it’s a blessing that you spending time with your significant other. You are lucky! :) Otherwise, living in a long-distance relationship is very, in fact extremely, difficult.


Janice April 16, 2013 at 6:56 am

Reading your confessions helped me to feel human. I’m approaching an empty nest, and bathtubs… well when I get around to it. (smile)


Sis April 16, 2013 at 7:17 am

I made this shower scrubber and my husband got so excited about it he requested one too. I just do a little bit when I take a shower, or sometimes I don’t do it. Thought I’d share, it has made my life easier.


Victoria April 16, 2013 at 8:17 am

Thank you for sharing. I struggle with all of these issues, except being an empty nester, so it is nice to have a working model to show progress not perfection.


The Generous Wife April 16, 2013 at 8:26 am

@Viviana I’m not saying that everyone should avoid romance novels, it’s just that they are a problem for me. Sadly, I think they are a problem for many, but I know some gals who have no real problem. It’s an individual thing.


The Generous Wife April 16, 2013 at 8:26 am

@Janice & Viviana I’m glad it’s an encouragement to y’all.


The Generous Wife April 16, 2013 at 8:28 am

@Sis Thanks for the tub scrubber idea. I’ll have to make one. I know my sweetie would help with it. Wow! I might actually have a sparkling clean tub. That would be a miracle too! :)


Karyl April 16, 2013 at 9:13 am

I love your blog and your honesty. Please check out my new book!


Gaye @ CalmHealthySexy April 16, 2013 at 9:26 am

Lori – Thanks so much for sharing my post. And thanks for sharing your “confessions.” I have plenty of “confessions” of my own, but the one that really strikes a chord with me is the whole empty nest thing. I am easing into it this year – our youngest son attends a near-by university and comes home every weekend. So I am getting a taste of “it’s just us now,” but not quite the whole thing. It’s quite a switch from being in “mom mode” all the time.


Anne L April 16, 2013 at 9:40 am

I saw this and thought it might help with your (our) self-image issues:


Kate April 16, 2013 at 10:39 am

Lori, I love this list! I resonate with many of them. I have often thought of writing a post on romance novels. I like to read historical fiction and many times there is the element of romance. That being said, it can be a huge stumbling block for some and putting exspectation on you hubby that are not realistic. I think I will have to sit down and work that post out. :)

Love number 1 and 10! So thankful for you and Paul and your leading the way! Blessings!


Meredith April 16, 2013 at 11:06 am

Thanks for sharing! I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now and love the encouragement it gives. It is neat to see a little more of the person behind the posts. Thank you for drawing us to Jesus so faithfully!


Katie April 16, 2013 at 12:10 pm

Thank you for sharing your list! It is such an encouragement to hear others struggle with the same things.


Chris April 16, 2013 at 12:41 pm

Thank you for writing this. I am going to become an empty nester fairly dramatically this year, with all 3 kids moving out within a few months of each other. I’m trying to prepare my mind to have them gone while simultaneously soaking up every parenting experience I have. I appreciatethe reminder that I haven’t scrubbed my tub in a while….maybe I can have one of the kids do it since they still live at home. :) Thanks for sharing my post with your readers.


Viviana April 16, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Yes Lori, I utterly agree with you. Believe it or not, but you truly have an art to convey your feelings in the most beautiful words.

And, yes! Your post encouraged me to take some time out for Bible today. It’s completely out of my mind these days. I specially Thank You for that.


Megan@DoNotDisturb April 17, 2013 at 5:28 am

Thanks for sharing your list! Such encouragement and comfort knowing where other people are and how we can relate. Love everything you do and pray for your ministry and marriage regularly!



Debi - The Romantic Vineyard April 17, 2013 at 6:53 am

Thank you for sharing a slice of your real life with us. It is so encouraging to realize we are all just a work in progress. I added my own list to the discussion in today’s post. It was harder to write than I thought it would be, but it felt so good. Kind of like losing a pound like you mentioned. There is so much more to my life, but these 10 confessions sum it up pretty good.
I’m grateful to call you friend!
P.S. Your commentluv button isn’t working for me. It says “internal server error”. Thought you’d like to know. :-)


The Generous Wife April 17, 2013 at 7:56 pm

Thanks for all the encouragement gals. It’s so nice to be real. Pedestals are so last year. ;)


Pearl April 22, 2013 at 3:26 pm

Lori, thx for your genuine-ness. I am amazed by your journey and your willingness to keep sharing for the good of all. It’s great to get to know you better. No, no pedastals. Pedastals keep people from reaching each other.


Hannah April 26, 2013 at 11:52 am

#1 This is a challenge for me also! I appreciate how real you were in this post. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who struggles with something.
I love mystery novels too.

Thanks for being so genuine in this post. It’s refreshing and encouraging to read your blog. I just got done writing my confessions.


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