Tomorrow?

April 5, 2013

in the generous life

Life a bit busy? How’s your love life?

The reason I ask is because it’s easy to put sex off a day or two when life gets busy. Most folks think about sex at bedtime and if you’ve had a long, busy day it makes it easy to say, “tomorrow.” The problem is that too many busy days means too many “tomorrows”. The longer you put off sex, the harder it is to get back to having a regular sex life and keeping that sense of intimacy that comes with sex. 

Sometimes it’s tough to see the consequence of putting off sex. If you cut back on shopping, your fridge gets bare. If you cut back on laundry, your clothes are all in the hamper (and you wind up wearing that paint-stained Tshirt). When you cut back on sex for a few days, there is no immediate in-your-face consequence. Relational stuff is like that. It just takes a bit longer before you realize that you don’t feel as close, you’re fussier than normal with each other or you realize your spouse is in a funk about it.

Treat your marriage and sex life like it is a deeply necessary part of your life (because it is). Plan it into your life the same way you plan other important activities. If you’re going to drop something because you are a bit busy, let it be something other than your bedroom life.

Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.  Song Songs 2:15  NIV

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Do Not Disturb: Small Stuff or Big Deal? Are you willing to trust and surrender to Him? NBD = Now Bow Down

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Intimacy in Marriage: Sexual Redemption. Could Her Story Be Yours? So nice to read about the thought processes behind change.

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The Romantic Vineyard: What Jurassic Park Taught Me About Love With a title like that you know you have to read it.  :)

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Rosemary April 5, 2013 at 9:28 am

“Most folks think about sex at bedtime.” Right. It’s wonderful to look forward to getting into bed with your spouse, cuddling up, and making love. But all too often bedtime comes around very late after a hectic day and there is not more energy. Thinking about sex long before bedtime really helps. For example, sex before dinner is a fabulous way to satisfy one appetite while building another, and it makes you feel closer and more relaxed together for the rest of the evening. Like a lot of people, I used to think that planning sex wouldn’t be fun because it would take away the spontaneity. But planning is actually a great aphrodisiac because of the way it builds anticipation.

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Daisy April 5, 2013 at 10:56 am

I totally agree with this post and the previous comment. Planning can be a great aphrodisiac.
But what happens when you’re not attrated to your spouse? When sex becomes “just going through the motions?”

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Tiffany Godfrey April 5, 2013 at 11:34 am

I don’t know if it’s a lack of education or what, but couples, especially women don’t view sex as a major priority. There are so many good things about sex when it’s done within the parameters of marriage. Since it’s a mental thing for us women, we must prepare our hearts and minds. I made a commitment this year to grow in the area of intimacy. For me this means reading books on sex and intimacy from a Christian, tasteful, but realistic perspective. I love my husband and I want to keep that emotional connection going with him, even if I need to sometimes press past the “feelings” of not wanting to have sex all the time. It’s a necessary, (and good) part of marriage.

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The Generous Wife April 5, 2013 at 12:26 pm

Great comments, gals!

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The Generous Wife April 5, 2013 at 7:16 pm

@Daisy Not attracted? Going through the motions?

I would encourage you to take your feelings and attitudes to God. Ask Him why the negatives and give Him time to talk to you about it. It’s amazing how He can show you the root of things. Then it’s about agreeing with Him and letting Him change your heart and your ways.

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luvmysuperman April 5, 2013 at 9:36 pm

I completely agree. We have 3 young children and my hubby works swing shift and is completely exhausted when he gets home at 1 or 2 in the am, so planning has become a must. I sure do look forward to the nights he has off though ;)

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