I Play by Sock Monkey Rules

March 7, 2013

in the generous life

I hate the word “should.”

I really try to respond with calm and kindness, but, honestly, I have heard that word used to shame, control, and even abuse.

Now I know there are legitimate reasons for using the word. We “should” smile more often, eat our veggies and kiss our sweeties.

That said, don’t let the “shoulds” run your life or your marriage.

You are unique. Your husband is unique. Your marriage is unique. Play within God’s guidelines and do what works for the both of you.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Lauren March 7, 2013 at 11:43 am

I heard someone once say it like this: “don’t ‘should’ all over yourself.” I hate the word “should” also. Only in my case, it seems to be used as a cop out. Eg “where is the tool kit?” Answer “it should be in the basement.” To me, it is a way out of being responsible for most anything. It also is the quickest way out of helping someone find/do something. As soon as “should” is thrown in, the person for some reason feels he/she has done all they are going to do and that’s the best they have to offer. Not at all helpful.

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Kathleen March 7, 2013 at 1:09 pm

My counselor advised me to use the word “could” where ever applicable, as in “You could take out the garbage” or “It would be good if you”, or “Would you please…” :)

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The Generous Wife March 7, 2013 at 4:41 pm

@Kathleen Yes, I much prefer “could” and “would.” It’s far more respectful to ask plainly for what you want. “Would you please take out the trash?” Instead of “You should take out the trash.”

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The Generous Wife March 7, 2013 at 4:42 pm

@Lauren Yes, I’ve seen that too. “Should” is on my “bad list.”

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