Kind and Encouraging

February 20, 2013

in the generous life

Every day your husband hears hard and sometimes discouraging words. His boss asks for extra hours. The driver on the road honks and hollers at him. The neighbor fusses about the knocked over trash can.

Be a kind and encouraging voice in his life. Tell him the you appreciate his hard work. Thank him for running an errand. Let him know how much you enjoy sharing a meal and conversation. Pat him on the bum and ask him to join you in bed a bit earlier than usual.

Kindness heals hurts and encourages the heart.

In a world full of people who couldn’t care less, be someone who couldn’t care more.  Author Unknown

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Dori February 20, 2013 at 5:03 am

Every day I hear hard and sometimes discouraging words. My boss asks for extra hours and many way more discouraging words. The driver on the road honks and hollers at me. The neighbor fusses about all kinds of stuff!
I LOVE your daily messages, Lori. But, I must say, this one struck me wrong. It sounds like only husbands encounter these tough situations, while the little woman just sits at home waiting for her man.

I’m sorry if that sounds negative. Again, you provide a fantastic message and I’m sure you, of all women, aren’t sitting at home just waiting.

Thanks for listening!


The Generous Wife February 20, 2013 at 10:48 am

I’m sorry if it came off that way. My intent was to encourage wives to be their husband’s safe haven.

Of course our husbands need to be our safe haven as well, but this list is for gals so the advice goes to us.


Cheryl February 20, 2013 at 11:40 am

I love this tip! Just yesterday, I had the chance to help my oldest daughter with something, which took me away from home, and I returned after my husband, tired, hungry, and stressed from driving home in near-blizzard conditions, in the dark (I don’t drive at night). After all that, I felt needy and really wanted to be pampered and appreciated; at least feel sorry for me that I ended up being on the road after dark, driving in scary conditions! My husband was busy on the computer upstairs (doing something I had asked him to, by the way) and did not come down to greet me but did raise his voice to offer a hello. Still wanting to be nurtured, I tried to satiate my needs with quick foods (I was hungry after all). I longed for him to come give me some attention. And then I wondered if he longed for pampering from me every night after his long hours away from home. Sure, I’m tired that time of day, too, and perhaps as stressed as he is. Perhaps. However, even though there’s never enough time to “get it all done,” I do have all day to handle my chores and stresses (our kids are grown and living on their own), and I could intentionally, if I chose to, arrange my schedule to make myself available–and prepared to be generous–when my husband comes home every night, realizing that he might want/need some TLC. To be honest, it would be quite a challenge for me to mentally/emotionally move into a nurturing role for my husband whenever he walks in the door; I feel like I’m not wired that way, plus, I never saw any woman in my family do that. When my husband comes home, I raise my voice to offer a hello from upstairs, but I usually continue with whatever work I was doing because I’m used to having my time to myself and I like to focus on whatever task it is I’m doing, rather than stop in the middle of something, whether it’s running on the treadmill, doing research online, or vacuuming the carpet. But, after last night, I can sure understand how he might feel every night when he comes home after a long day at the office. Maybe that longing-to-be-cared-for feeling that I felt is how our husbands sometimes feel when they want/need sex. Maybe it’s how our men feel when they come home after work. Maybe not. We should ask. This is a good time to remind myself that I am the only one in the world who can give this timely and probably much-wanted attention to my husband.


Cheryl February 20, 2013 at 4:02 pm

And it need only take 10 minutes! How easy is that? Not easy when you are in the middle of making dinner or dealing with kids, but some of us don’t have those kinds of demands on our time and energy and we can do this. If I had to do it over again, I think I would still try to give my husband (and my kids) undivided attention for at least a minute or two whenever they come in the door after being gone all day. I know how I would feel if I got that kind of reception. (I homeschooled my kids, so they were never gone for that long. But even when they came in from playing, I wish I would have loved on them more rather than taken their presence for granted.) The same for my husband.


Fawn Weaver February 21, 2013 at 10:16 pm

This is such a great message, Lori! Sometimes we forget how cruel the world can be to men. I truly believe we (women) handle it better. We don’t keep it trapped inside; we deal with it. But they’re not always wired that way so it just builds. Having a loving wife to come home to means the world to so many husbands out there. Thanks for this post (and thanks for linking up!).


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