The Perfectionist Trap

February 16, 2013

in the generous life

I was reading CWives’ Valentine post Valentine’s Day Victory in Your Bedroom and this jumped out at me.

Perfectionism: “I was planning on having sex today but then _______ happened. Now it’s all ruined so forget the whole thing.”

While this is about sex, I think the concept applies to every area of marriage. If we have an idea in mind and something makes it less than perfect, how often do we just throw out the whole idea? (And in doing so miss out on a lot of great couple time and fun!)

Being married to an adventure loving messie, I’ve had to learn to go with “imperfect” and I must say that (for the most part) it’s been great. No, it’s not “perfect,” but my life would have been quite boring without him. I’ve had to stretch a bit and let go of unrealistic expectations. I’ve had to risk and deal with failure at times. But, honestly, I like myself better and I’ve come to enjoy adventure. Messes can always be cleaned up, but a life lived small because of perfectionism can’t be re-lived.

Let go of perfect expectations and enjoy imperfect life with the love of your life.

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault.  John Henry Newman

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

valerie February 16, 2013 at 5:34 am

Thanks for the sweet reminder. I felt a bit deflated on Valentines’s Day. I knew my hubby had to work that night. I was patient while he worked on taxes and exhausted by the time he came to bed. We were both awake in the early morning. So, I encouraged him to make love, but wasn’t really “in the mood”. (I don’t do well early, early mornings, but the kid’s were in bed, he’d made advances earlier that day, and I thought it would be our only time alone). I think he enjoyed it… :)
Then my yummy dinner didn’t turn out. Who knew a picnic HAM, wasn’t really ham. Lol! To top it off, my ds helped me make dessert, homemade cheese cake. We forgot to add sugar! Haha! Now it’s kind of funny, but then I felt disappointed. The last minute sugary strawberry concoction I threw on top helped, but there was still a bit of a bitter bite to the cake, if you didn’t eat it with the the rush job. I wished I’d slowed down and double checked the recipe; and waited on our lm. It would have been sweeter for both of us if I did. Live and learn and don’t stress over the pitied things. Oh, and laughing helps too.

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valerie February 16, 2013 at 5:38 am

Don’t stress over the little things. When I was waiting for dh, it was the night before v.d. He had that night off. But has to work every night until Monday night.

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Amy February 16, 2013 at 9:22 am

Just what I needed today! Are you stalking me? lol! Thank you!

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