Early Warning System

January 29, 2013

in the generous life

♥ ♥ ♥ 16 days to Valentine’s Day! ♥ ♥ ♥

Dan, of Leadership Freak, has an amazing post on Drift. It’s a business-y type post but much of what he writes applies to marriage as well.

Drift is where you take your eyes off of where you are going and you slowly move away from your intended direction. The busyness of life can easily make that happen in marriage as well as business.

This point really stood out to me:

“Pointing out drift makes you look foolish because drift is no big deal at first.” 

I’ve been there. I’d be busy, my husband would be busy and I’d start noticing the little things. We’d miss a shared meal or two.  Our conversations were more surface or we weren’t talking as much.

It’s easy to feel a bit foolish about pointing out the drift. It’s small and it’s just temporary, right?

The problem is that the nature of drift is that it is subtle. You take a small step and then another. Then one day you wake up and your relationship with your husband is distant. All those small (seemingly insignificant) steps have carried you apart.

My point in all of this is to take drift seriously and create some small red flags that warn you that you are drifting. Have you missed a couple of meals together this week? No sex in a week? Perhaps you haven’t had your usual talk in awhile? What signals tell you that your marriage relationship is starting to drift? 

Watch for those warning signs, take note, and just as you made those small steps to drift away, choose to make different small steps so that you drift right back toward intimacy with your sweetie. 

Be aware.
Be intentional.
Drift may look small, but it’s a big enemy.

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.  “Pooh!” he whispered.  “Yes, Piglet?”  “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.  “I just wanted to be sure of you.”  A.A. Milne

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Megan@DoNotDisturb January 29, 2013 at 9:11 am

Love this! Such great and important advice. It is so easy to do as it is human nature. Thanks for shedding light on this and doing your part to help us all be aware of our tendency to drift.



Fawn Weaver January 29, 2013 at 5:21 pm

Great post, Lori! Keith and I try to always look out for any form of “drifting” and you are so right, if we weren’t looking out for it, I can see how it could so easily lead us astray (without us even knowing it). Which explains the comment, “We just drifted apart,” that people use so often.
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