Clearly Speaking

January 17, 2013

in the generous life

♥ ♥ ♥ 28 days to Valentine’s Day! ♥ ♥ ♥

From The Generous Wife archive:

I was talking with a friend and we were both bemoaning times of miscommunication with our spouses.  What it boiled down to was that we would make a statement and expect our spouses to understand all kinds of information and requests that were implied (I mean we understood what we meant, why didn’t they?).

To us, saying, “We need to get something to fix that,” means, “Next time you go to the hardware store, would you get screws and then fix that stair step?”  To our guys that was just a reasonable observation. Yes, it needed to be done and sometime they would get around to it.  They had no clue that we were talking about a serious concern and we wanted them to act on it.

We needed to be more specific and say things like, “Honey, that really concerns me.  Would you fix the step this weekend?” or “I’m running errands this afternoon.  If I pick up the screws will you take a moment this evening and fix the step?”

Keep an eye on how you communicate with your husband and look for ways to be more specific.  The more specific we are, the less mind reading our husband’s will have to do.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.  Robert McCloskey

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Encourage Your Spouse: Adjustment – Stretch & Pull Must read post about change, using Mystery32’s great post on Adjustments as a springboard. 


Pearl’s OysterBed: 52 Week Challenge: Sex Drive Transformation for the Low Libido Wife Interesting challenge with weekly positive affirmations about married sex.


Refine Us: Break Free From Your Need to Be Perfect Helpful suggestions for the perfectionist in all of us.



{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Kimball January 19, 2013 at 9:36 pm

I’ve also begun to realize that some of the things I observe-out-loud, I just need to do it for it to actually get done. Due to the nature of his work, my husband is a busy man and doesn’t always have time to fix things around the house. If something is broken, I need to be okay with the fact that I need to learn how to be Mrs. Fix-it.


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