Smile Over Dinner

October 19, 2012

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

How are you and your husband doing over sexual frequency? 

I ask because busyness and the stress in life often causes a slow down.  You’re tired.  It’s late.  You can make love tomorrow.  Life does happen and there are those days, but if you find yourself frequently making excuses and putting off sex, then consider that a red flag that you need to simplify your life a bit and become more intentional about sex. Your marriage needs the intimacy that sex brings and good sex tends to happen most when there is regular sex.

How much is enough? 

Look at the fruit (no, I’m not talking about kids).  How intimate is your overall relationship?  How tender do you and your husband feel toward each other?  Do you smile at each other during dinner?  As a suggestion, you might try engaging in sex a bit more than you usually do to see if it makes a difference.  If it does, then you have learned something and you can make sex a bigger priority in your life.

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We Are THAT Family: Moms Are People Too A reminder to take care of yourself.

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The Mrs. of Spice and Love is Looking for stories of hope! If you are a a wife with a higher sex drive than your husband and you are willing to share an encouraging story, please respond.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

livinginblurredlines October 19, 2012 at 2:15 am

Hubby’s job sent him away for a time, so it’s been nearly 2 weeks since we’ve had sex and nearly 3 weeks since I’ve had an O. It’s affecting us and we’re at the part where we start feeling distant from each other. There isn’t much to talk about…life it same ol’ same ol’. Reconnecting is hard because hubby is uncomfortable with and out and out refuses to talk about intimate stuff on the phone, have phone sex or send each other suggestive photos or whatnot. I always know when they’re going to send him home, though, because a couple of days before, he starts getting more suggestive in his texts or words. Nothing blush-worthy.

I hate feeling this distant from him. I hate not knowing how he’s doing, if he’s ok, what his thoughts are, what his needs are. I hate when he disconnects like this and there’s nothing I can do about it because if I pursue, he gets annoyed and even more distant. All I can do is is occassionally remind him that I’m here for him. In the meantime, I just want to curl up on the floor and cry and pine for him.

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Gaye October 19, 2012 at 4:56 am

Great reminder – it is so easy to let the daily grind get in the way of intimacy.

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Patty Newbold October 19, 2012 at 2:49 pm

Glad you brought this one out of the Archives, Lori! It’s a winner.

For livinginblurredlines, when he’s home again, you might start working on a new vocabulary for intimate stuff, words to use to when others might overhear. It’s awful to feel so distant.

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The Generous Wife October 19, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Thanks, Patty, for the vocabulary tip. I think that’s a good one for all of us.

@livinginblurredlines, you might also want to check out these Stay in Touch Ideas from generous wives everywhere. Perhaps one or two of them will spark some ideas for you. http://www.the-generous-wife.com/staying-in-touch-2/

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