The Driveway Wars

September 25, 2012

in the generous life

I have a lovely guest post for y’all today. It’s written by Aja of Making Love in the Microwave.

The Driveway Wars: Finding Simple Solutions to Simple Marriage Problems

Between our driveway, which can fit three cars end-to-end, and the neighbors’ yard, there is a strip of grass that drivers in either household can pull into and drive over to get out of their own driveway in the event that the other driver has blocked the car in.

I hate having to pull into this strip of grass. As easy as it is for my husband, and the husband and wife next door, maneuvering my car into the grass and then into the street is challenging for me (did I mention I failed the parallel parking part of my driving test three times?)

When my husband pulls up behind my car in the driveway, though, instead of pulling his car out when I want to leave, he would rather instruct me on how to pull my own car out. I already can’t pull my own car out, it’s even more embarrassing to have him walk me through the process in front of the whole neighborhood, and both of us end up frustrated along the way.

After each “driveway war” I think: “Why can’t he just be considerate enough to pull his car out? He embarrassed me. He doesn’t understand why this is a problem for me.” I brush off my irritation, but know that it will be a problem when we are presented with the situation once again. 

Or knew, until my husband came up with a solution: When I come home, if he’s not home yet, I park in the third spot. If he gets home after I do, he parks in the second spot so that I’m not blocked in. The solution was so simple that I had to slap my head and yell “d’oh!”

Why did it take us three months of arguing to come up with such a simple solution? Because instead of pulling his car out, he was focused on teaching me something that he thought I should know, and instead of learning, I was focused on feeling like he was being inconsiderate.

As couples, instead of allowing God to guide us toward solutions, it is easy to become focused on our own feelings and to assign more meaning to our problems than we should. By taking our eyes off of our problems and our emotions, and focusing instead on peace within our homes, we can uncover what is often a simple and practical solution. 

Today, think about an argument that you have over and over again. If you forget about your feelings for a moment, can you find a practical solution?

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a mother of two, freelance writer and author of the blog, Making Love in the Microwave, giving practical marriage tips to busy couples. Take her free e-course to build a stronger marriage in 15 days. 

Image courtesy of Jomphong / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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The Generous Husband: A word from the little woman Trust my sweetie to be funny. His response to my post about Why I Don’t Use the Words “Help Meet”.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Revive Your Praise A great post on what praising our husbands really means.

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Marriage Works: Assume Good Intent Wonderful word picture for giving your mate the benefit of the doubt.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Victoria September 25, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Love. Love. Love.

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