I was lying in bed this morning thinking about one of the pivotal moments in my generous adventure.
I had just ripped my husband a new one, fussing him up one side and down the other. He was wise (scared?) enough not to respond and I walked away in a huff. About 20 seconds later I realized that I had responded to a “2” event like it was a “57” and that my husband hadn’t really deserved any of my (oh, let’s just call it what it was) tantrum. When I calmed down further I sought him out to apologize.
I also made the decision not to go after my husband in anger like that again. No matter what he had done, he did not deserve what I had just done to him. You have to know it is deeply harmful and shaming to have someone dump their anger on you like that and no one really deserves to be treated that way (especially the man I love and married). What was I thinking?
Somewhere in the back of my head I had allowed behavior like that to be acceptable. Well, no more.
I made the choice and I have stuck with it. Yes, I get mad. I even get mad at my husband, but lashing out in anger is a no go. I can act like an adult and talk about problems calmly. If I need a break to calm down, I take a break.
How we act is a choice.
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing. Will Rogers
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Here’s a easy conversation starter ~ Encouragers Start Conversations (from Encourage Your Spouse)
Some practical ideas on how to Take Your Thoughts Captive (from One Flesh Marriage)