Mirror, Mirror

August 12, 2012

in the generous life

Awhile back my husband had a dream. In the dream he was looking through dirty, messed up glasses while looking at himself in a dirty, distorted mirror.

… interesting …

We’ve talked about the dream, what it might mean to him personally and what it means generally as a way of looking at people’s brokenness. For the most part, we all grow up with wrong thinking. We misunderstand events. People and situations tell us lies or half truths. It’s no wonder that we don’t see ourselves accurately or that we struggle with accepting God’s truth about ourselves.

I could take this concept any number of ways (our self worth, body image, etc.), but the point I think I want to make is …

We are a mirror to our husbands.

Just park on that for a minute. When your husband looks at you, listens to you, and gathers information from you in any number of ways, what does it “reflect” back to him? Does he see that he is a person of value to you? Does he feel wanted, appreciated or respected?

If all he sees “reflected” back is dissatisfaction and impatience, he will not know that he is a person of great worth.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t talk about problems or not address something that he is doing that bothers the snot out of you. I am saying that we need to be a “true” mirror and reflect back the good too. The good seems to be more easily neglected in the busyness of our days, where we only make time to address problems or fuss at what bothers us.

We can’t always change the “glasses” that our spouse wears (though we can speak truth and pray for them), but we can choose to “reflect” back to them the full picture of who they are (and just so you know, they are mighty special).

Image credit © Czuber | Dreamstime.com

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Nice word picture for explaining how to Strengthen Marriage with a New Perspective (from Power of Two)

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A delightful and sensible article about being a student of your spouse ~ Can You Read Your Spouse? (from Marriage Life – another member of the sex-positive bandwagon 10 Confessions of Another Sex-Happy Wife)

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Well, we all knew this was going to happen. My sweetie just climbed on the bandwagon too ~ Confessions of the Husband of a Sex Positive Wife 

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Sis August 12, 2012 at 12:20 pm

This is so well written and I agree with every word you said. I have completely underestimated my abilities to “mirror” back to my husband his true worth.

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The Generous Wife August 12, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Thanks @sis. I’ve been parking on this concept for awhile now and it’s been attaching itself to all my relationships. I want to reflect God’s truth about a person when I relate to them, not just my bad day or my lack of patience.

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Chrissi August 13, 2012 at 2:22 am

Wow. Revelation time. The Lord just spoke to my heart and told me that in DEflecting compliments from my husband, I am REflecting that he is not doing a good job in making me feel beautiful, wonderful and cherished. Ouch. Exactly the opposite is true; I’ve never had anyone make me feel more wanted. I am 42, and have just celebrated anniversary number two with the love of my life…I guess it’s time to learn a new way. Thank you, Lori. I am believing this is your intention; for us to open our hearts and minds to what the Lord has for our marriages. Thank you for your time, prayer, and dedication.

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