Last year I started a “cottage garden” and I’ve been adding a bit to it each season. Basically you mix flowers, herbs and even garden vegetables into a mish mash of color and texture. I’ve always wanted one, but until now just never set aside the time and energy to make it happen.
I got to thinkin’ about the why of that. I’ve always loved cottage gardens and have had the opportunity and time. I think I’ve worried that I wouldn’t do a “good enough” job (some of those gardening magazines will give you a complex), I wouldn’t be able to do a lot at once (I’d have to grow it a little at a time) and I wondered how the neighbors might feel about the “messiness” of the process.
All pretty silly reasons, if you ask me. More thinking later, I realized that often those are reasons we don’t invest in and grow our own marriages.
We look at (or read about) others’ “perfect marriages” and then worry that we won’t do a “good enough” job. We can’t have the perfect marriage instantly and feel rather overwhelmed by the “life long project” that marriage can be. And sometimes we wonder how others will view the “messiness” that comes with a growing and changing marriage relationship.
May I encourage you to grow your own
cottage marriage garden?
It’s good to learn from others, but please don’t believe that others live in perfection. Ask God to help you and your husband create your own unique marriage model to chase after and that will be more than “good enough.”
Yes, there is no getting away from the ongoing nature of tending your marriage garden, but a little each day will get you there. And as you walk through the seasons of messiness there are spots of incredibly beauty. (My lambs ear is blooming!)
As to the messiness? I have more people who are delighted with my garden and love to wander about. They are enjoying the process and the loveliness of each season. Yes, there are a couple of nay-sayers. Not much I can do about them, but I’m not going to let their glass-half-empty attitude keep me from growing a lovely garden … or marriage.
Your children and your friends can just as easily be nurtured in the messiness of your growing marriage relationship. They’ll be encouraged by your integrity, inspired by your efforts, and delighted by the beauty of your marriage relationship in all it’s seasons.
It was chaos in color … Dazzling sprays of flowers were blasted through patches of randomly planted vegetables and herbs … It was confusing, stunning, and incredibly beautiful. … and it really was a mess, but incredible and wonderful at the same time. W.P. Young
Image credit (c) Lori Byerly
“J” does a great job of discussing perspectives and options ~ Sexual Intimacy & Your Period: Tips for Wives (from Hot, Holy & Humorous)
A very well done post about holding on to what is good, right and true ~ 50 Shades of Magic Mike (In Which I Am VERY UNCOOL) (from Melissa Jenna)