Get Your Priorities in Order Before Saying Yes

June 25, 2012

in the generous life

My husband shared the “Why I Say No to Sex” survey results with his list and one gentleman commented:

… my wife is always too tired because she is too busy, because she can’t say no to anyone … if our relationship isn’t important enough to say no to other people then there isn’t anything I can do about that.

I can really identify with this. I can be a people pleaser. I like saying yes. I like being helpful. I like fixing problems.

That said, there are priorities to take into consideration. When I started this whole “generous adventure” thing I made a point of working on it first with my husband, then out to my kids, then out to my extended family and friends and then out to whoever I might run into. My point is that God really worked it into my heart that my sweetie gets “best” and “first.”

It’s easy to ask your husband to wait because he’s more understanding than the kids or less needy than the friend in a crisis. Which is true … to a point … the point where your husband always gets the leftovers of your time and energy.

A couple of thoughts:

Learn to think through your choices before saying yes or no. I know it’s tough to say no. No one wants to deal with the disappointment of others. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish or bad, it makes you thoughtful and wise (the same as when you say yes, you thought it through and made the best choice you knew how to make).

Understand that our culture is anti-marriage. We need to take a strong stand and build our marriages. Let’s invest time and energy in keeping our marriage relationships healthy. You and your husband are worth it. 

Image credit © Andres Rodriguez |


Be a whole person, find your passion ~ No Support for Your Interests? (from Assume Love) 


Date nights can be simple ~ Date Night: Nature (from Marriage Life)



{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Barbara June 25, 2012 at 5:35 am

I am having trouble even getting sex. My husband had prostate treatment. This is the reason we do not have it.


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