Date Night – His Preferences

June 19, 2012

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

What does your husband like to do?  Is there an event that caters to his interests?  Sounds like a date to me.

I’ve gone to landscape trade shows, (fairly bizarre) sci fi movies, and more.  I actually had a lot of fun.  I spent time with my sweetie (always good) and often I found things I enjoyed as well.  You just have to stretch a bit and open your mind to the possibility of new interests.  It also gives you more in common.  Common knowledge is one more level of intimacy.

I come from a galaxy far, far away. John Sheppard, Stargate

Image credit © Michaelmarks | Dreamstime.com

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Having just had a garage sale, I’m totally getting this one ~ 10 Lessons in happiness from a yard sale (from Too Darn Happy)

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Rethinking your options ~ Are false choices hurting your marriage? (from The Generous Husband)

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy June 19, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Well, it wasn’t date night, but I went with him (and our boys) to the shooting range for the first time. Shot at the 100 yd and the clay pigeon range. It was fun.

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Ricky Spears June 20, 2012 at 6:32 am

It should also probably be noted that it’s also important to apply your best effort at finding enjoyment in the activity too. He needs to hear and see that you’re enjoying participating in this activity that he’s interested in, even if the biggest enjoyment you get is just being with him and enjoying his joy.

If you’re griping and complaining about it, or doing other things to show your husband how big of a sacrifice you’re making for him, he’s going to feel very disrespected. Although expressing your feelings of dissatisfaction may make you feel open, and therefore more intimate with him, he’s going to feel pushed away rather than drawn closer to you.

A husband’s natural inclination when he hears his wife complain is to solve the problem, which in this case would mean stopping the activity and probably never wanting to do it with her again. This is his way of protecting himself from the complaints and of protecting her from displeasure. Unfortunately, it also becomes something he feels he can’t really share with his wife any more either.

As husbands we want to know that our wives are interested in us. This is often best demonstrated by showing interest in the things the husband is interested in. So Lori is “right on” with the advice in this post and I appreciate her sharing it. I don’t think we expect, or even always want, our wives to be as interested in all the same things we are at the same level we are (differences in interests adds to the relationship, so they are a good thing); but we do want and expect our wives to at least find pleasure in the fact that we’re interested and involved in those things and to periodically express that pleasure by participating with us in those things.

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