Sorting Out Sexual Truth and Error

May 18, 2012

in the generous life

This morning my husband asked me, “What advice would you give to a woman who is struggling with her sexuality, but really wants to enjoy sex with her husband?”

The question came out of left field, so I muddled around a bit and then basically wandered back to talking about the battle that rages between a woman’s ears. We get so many messages about sex from family, friends and culture (and some of those conflict). We hardly know how to act and what to feel. Add a bit of injury and you’ve got a recipe for sexual struggles.  

As a practical help, I suggested that a gal might get a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and then write on one side what she feels and thinks about sex (perhaps also write down all the different messages that she heard growing up). Then she could begin to pray and ask God what He says about sex and write that info on the other side. (Not sure what God thinks? That’s where the Bible, godly friends and godly authors can help.)

This simple chart would offer a clearer picture of the struggle and give a gal some understanding and a direction for sorting out the battle in her head. God can teach us truth and set us free to be who He designed us to be ~ in and out of the bedroom. 

If you can change your mind, you can change your life.  William James

Image credit (c) Lori Byerly


I love Scott’s heart on this one ~ Intimacy with God: The Ultimate Power Source (from Journey to Surrender)


Must Your Bedroom Be a Love Den? Practical and thoughtful. (from Hot, Holy & Humorous)



{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Stacey Clements May 18, 2012 at 6:56 am

I also highly recommend “The Sexperiment” by Ed and Lisa Young. It’s great at helping sort through the conflicting sexual messages and giving the godly perspective. And it definitely helps build intimacy!


Pearl May 18, 2012 at 12:50 pm

AMEN, Lori! Wonderful visual, it says it all. It took me awhile to process God’s ordination of sex as good. Prayer has been very important in my sexual journey.


Troy May 18, 2014 at 4:57 pm

The link to hot holy humorous is broke. it should be
(Without the blogspot in the link. It shows as invite only)
Thank you and Paul for a great ministry!


Lori - The Generous Wife May 18, 2014 at 9:12 pm

Thanks for catching that. It’s fixed now.


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