Give Him More Than a Clue

May 4, 2012

in the generous life

It really is true that guys can’t read minds.

Some are more intuitive than others, but in the real world guys need to hear specifically what you think or what you want.

This is especially true in the bedroom.

Guys have different plumbing and a different kind of sex drive, so they are really in the dark, unless we are willing to turn on a light.

So, when your husband does something you like, tell him. When he does something that is uncomfortable or painful, (gently) tell him. If there is something you’d like to try, invite him. If he doesn’t understand, repeat using different words and/or show him what you mean. 

I know communicating about sex can be awkward, sometimes terribly so, but the only way to make it un-awkward is to practice and get better at it.

Challenge of the week: Pick something sexual and communicate about it … plainly. You don’t have to be terribly fancy about it. “Kiss me like that again.” “Can we try woman on top?” “Touch me here.” “Ummm. That’s good.” Just communicate your perspective or your wishes about something sexual. Give him more than a clue.

Let my beloved come to his garden, and eat its choicest fruits.  Song of Songs 4:16b ESV

Image credit © Felix Mizioznikov |


Turns out moms are pretty smart ~ 10 Things “My Mama Said” About Marriage (from Charlie Brown’s Teacher)  


“J” gets the hilarious award for this one ~ Sex is For Bunnies… But Not Only Them  This post is a response to a silly comment from The Generous Husband (and, yes, we really do have a pet bunny who likes to play with a tennis ball).



{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) May 4, 2012 at 4:49 am

Really? You have an actual bunny and a tennis ball! THAT is hilarious.

Loved this post, by the way. So very true.


The Generous Wife May 4, 2012 at 8:49 am

@J Yup, her name is Ivy and she loves to play with her tennis ball and chew on pine cones. She is also in a 12-step program for carrot lovers.


Charlie Brown's Teacher May 4, 2012 at 11:42 am

Thanks so much for sharing a link to my blog. I love the message you are sharing as well.
I believe that Christian marriages should be distinctly different: faithful, satisfied husbands with content, respectful wives.
Can you just imagine if ALL Christian marriages were set apart in that way?
The world would say, “Why?” and give us opportunity to say, “Let me tell you about Jesus.”
Now…I’m off to complete a challenge…


Jan Stevens May 4, 2012 at 9:54 pm

I completely agree with you on this. The only way we can be satisfied the way we want to be satisfied is by telling our partners and asking for what we want directly instead of expecting or assuming that our partners will automatically know what to do. This is true for matters outside the bedroom as well. Communication is one of the most vital tools we need to constantly make use of in our marriage.


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