A generous wife suggested that I start doing sexuality tips on Friday instead of Saturday (thanks for the idea, Kristi!). Seems some gals read their tips at work and others are looking for little time to prepare for the weekend when there’s more time for husband and intimate time. So here is Friday’s sexuality idea. (Hmm. Now what am I going to do on Saturday?)
Lately it seems that I’ve heard a number of gals say something like, “I’m just not sexual.” At first thought, I wanted to let them know (graciously of course) that they were believing a lie. After more thought, though, I realized that while a few may be actually denying their own sexuality, most were making a statement about rejecting a specific idea of what sexuality is. They didn’t like any particular sexual model that they had seen, so they assumed that they were not sexual. (“I’m not like the ladies in the movies, I’m not like my friends, … I guess I’m just not sexual.”)
The model of sexuality that our culture throws at us is often very distorted and not so very healthy. If that were my only option, I think I might opt out too! Thankfully we have another option ~ we can adopt biblical guidelines and have fun with our sweetie within the safety of those boundaries.
Your marriage is a playground. The fence around the playground is the collection of guidelines that God has given us about sex. What happens on your marriage playground is about your choices and preferences as a couple. It’s perfectly safe and you can be sexual and have creative fun with your husband.
THE FENCE (some biblical guidelines)
We are to abstain from immoral sex. (unmarried sex, adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, incest, etc.)
We are to have sex only in marriage; one man with one woman.|
We are to lovingly meet the legitimate sexual needs and wants of our spouse.
We need to avoid anything which can cause serious harm. (physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc.)
We should never push our spouse to compromise their beliefs.
We are not to be controlled by anything.
WHAT’S ON YOUR PLAYGROUND?
~ anything you both want that will benefit your sense of intimacy and oneness as a couple.
If someone had said that to me a few years back I think I would have given them a blank stare (or blushed and mumbled at my shoelaces). I wouldn’t have even known where to start other than missionary position in the dark. And, you know, that would be a fine place to start. I don’t mean to speak ill of small beginnings. The point is that you want to grow your playground to the point where you both feel loved and wanted, where you enjoy the pleasures of sex that God intended for couples to share. Start with what you know and, a bit at a time, explore and add a thing or two.
Some great resources: (books are aff links)
Sheet Music by Kevin Leman
The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire
Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus
Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph & Linda Dillow & Dr. Peter & Lorraine Pintus
Do not buy into the culture’s view of sex or dump your sexuality because sex is dumb, evil, scary or not for you. Adopt God’s view and enjoy the pleasure of sex with your husband.
Image credit © Jcyoung | Dreamstime.com
J (of Hot, Holy and Humorous) has written a delightful and practical post ~ Storing Your Sexy Stuff Yup. I put the dogs on Pinterest.
“Marriage affords us the opportunity to exclusively pursue each other in a way that is right and holy and fun and tender.” from Pursue Me Sexually, Dear Husband (Intimacy in Marriage)
Be generous! Lori <><