Be Generous!

February 1, 2012

in the generous life

From time to time I get an email from a gal who is a bit put out about the strong focus on blessing your husband, seemingly at the expense of yourself.

Let me say, that I totally understand. 

Being generous is counter intuitive to getting what you want in life.  In the scope of life, the laundry multiplying behind your back, errands to run, the dishes hollering to be done, the kids … just hollering, it’s tough to think of giving of your time and energy.

Let me share a few perspectives.

God calls us to a life of generosity.  He wants us to look like Him.  I respect His wisdom.  If He says generosity is a good thing, I believe Him.

What you give you tend to get back.  Being generous is like riding a fantastic wave with a wonderful backwash of generous returns.  A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.  Prov 11:25  NIV

Being generous doesn’t have to take a lot of work.  Kiss your sweetie 10 seconds instead of 2.  Pray for your husband while you fold his clothes.  Pick up some of his favorite cookies when you are grocery shopping.  Some of the most generous things you can do just take a moment.

For the most part, there is time to bless others and still have your needs met.  It is not an either/or situation.  You can watch the movie your husband wants to watch and another time watch your choice.  You can fix his favorite meal on Tuesday and fix your favorite meal on Friday.  You can follow your dreams and pursue adventure.  Yes, it will likely take a bit of planning and creative effort, but you don’t have to become a non-person to be a generous person.  (In fact I would say that being a non-person is a slam against who God designed you to be.  Embrace life and be best you that you can be with the people that you love.)

Ride that wave!

Image credit © Paul Topp | Dreamstime.com

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This is the first day of February.  If you have an anniversary this month, please leave your first names, anniversary date, how long you’ve been married and then tell us something you absolutely love about your husband as a comment to this post.  Gals, let’s buddy up with these February women and pray for their marriages.  (January anniversaries)

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Be sure to check out Sheils’a 29 Days to Great Sex ~ lots of great blogging as we wait for the publish date of her new book.

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 I love the concept of The Third Alternative. Here’s the book (aff link) and here’s a nice post from Assume Love ~ A Valentine’s Day Third Alternative

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Be generous! Lori <><
13 days until Valentine’s Day!

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Amy February 1, 2012 at 3:33 am

Brian and Amy – Anniversary – February 27th (13 years)

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Lauri February 1, 2012 at 4:34 am

Randall and Lauri
February 5
We’ve been married 29 years
Randall is very committed to taking care of those he loves, including his mother and our grown kids

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angela February 1, 2012 at 4:52 am

James and Angela, Feb. 7, 2004. He is a very loving man and he shows his affection for me in so many ways. He is always trying to be a better husband.

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Emily February 1, 2012 at 6:30 am

I find that when i am generous, my husband reciprocates. What more could you want? Living life for each other! Thank you, Lori, for your generous tips!

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Jillian February 1, 2012 at 7:26 am

I have a MA in Communication, and I don’t know everything about marriage & communication, but I do know couple of things;-)

I know that in the US, we are an individualistic society. We encourage the “look out for number one” mentality starting in grade school. It is wonderful to encourage children to love themselves and celebrate their uniqueness, but what happens when two people who are raised to look out for themselves suddenly have to look out for someone else too? A-ha!

There is also a little thing called the Social Exchange Theory. It a nutshell, people are more likely to meet the needs of their partner when their own needs are being met. It creates a cyclical effect. I feel loved, therefore I show more love, therefore I receive more love….. and so on.

I also agree that as followers of Christ we are called to live generously!

My husband and I have been “followers” of the Generous Wife and Husband for a couple of years. Not only has living generously changed our marriage, it has changed our lives. I no longer look for happiness in what I have, rather what I can give. I find pure JOY in loving my husband generously. I look forward everyday to the tips and creative ways to bless my man. I also consider it an act of worship. It is a way that I can show God how thankful I am for such an amazing husband – one He made just for me to love all the days of my life!

Keep it up Lori!

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Joni February 1, 2012 at 9:12 am

My husband Paul and I (Joni) will have our 7th anniversary on the 4th of this month. I totally love the fact that he calls me EVERY DAY on his way home to see if he needs to run any errands for me before he gets home. He loves to go to the grocery store, which is awesome for me!!

Lori, I have been receiving your daily emails since Paul and I got married and I cannot tell you how much they have blessed me (us). Thank you for all you do!

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The Generous Wife February 1, 2012 at 11:37 am

Marvin and Kathy Feb 10th 23 years
I love my that my husband loves God now. It wasn’t always so.
…..
Tamra & Andres
Feb.7 – 9 yrs
He makes me laugh,and he is a good provider
…..
Marvin and Kathy 23 years Feb 10th. I love that my husband loves God now. It wasn’t always so.
…..
Karen& Keith
February 11th
Married 23 years to my Junioe High Sweetheart!
My husband is a man of faith, who still loves me and thinks I’m sexy after all of these years. He is consistant and steady and way more romantic than I am!
…..
Barb and Elmer, married 41 years Feb 7th. He is So generous to me (using hints from Paul) and everyone. He does yoga with me, which is good for him and warms my heart. Could I ask for a prayer request? Our daughter K and husband J are needing prayer to be open to putting their marriage back together. We want them to avoid the on-going pain of divorce especially after 11 years and 2 kids. Thanks everyone. Miracles do happen and this work that you do proves it. Many Blessings to you Lori and Paul!!!

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Karen February 1, 2014 at 5:03 am

Karen and Ben February 3rd, 2 years. My husband is thoughtful, generous and a good companion.

Thank you for praying for us!

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Melissa Jones February 1, 2012 at 12:05 pm

Melissa and Ryan, married 6 years this Feb 11th. I love my husband’s butt and this grin he gets sometimes. Other things too, but that’s what I’m thinking about right now! ;p

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Tim and Jess February 1, 2012 at 12:07 pm

February 1st 10 years I love that my husband is such a hard worker. It’s important to him that he provides for his family.

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Gretchen Jacka February 1, 2012 at 1:50 pm

My husband & I will celebrate 7 years of wedded WONDERFULNESS on Feb 26th. He is such a blessing to me. He is very supportive, caring, giving & patient! He is a wonderful father to our boys; I love that he wants to set a Godly example for them (He never had that growing up) not only in his daily actions & words but in how he treats me. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my man!

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Jeanette February 2, 2012 at 3:50 am

Jeanette and Theo, married 14 years on February 14th. Yup, no way he’ll ever forget our anniversary : ) He’s my best friend, an awesome father, and has such a heart for people and for teaching. I’m so very blessed.

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Tim and Amy February 2, 2012 at 3:59 am

February 15th, 21 years. His sense of humor and his giving. He is always wanting to help others.

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Sharon Page February 2, 2012 at 9:36 am

Lori,
Thanks for all you do every day to remind us to be generous. I feel victorious when one of your tips has become habit for me and is something that I do “naturally.”
We celebrated our 17 year anniversary last month and have a great marriage. I’m convinced that being generous to each other is a major contributing factor to our level of happiness in our marriage.
As Jillian said above — it’s cyclical. When I’m being selfish, I’m more likely to see/notice/respond to my husband’s actions of selfishness. When I’m being generous, his actions/responses are more generous. Our perception is our reality.
Thank you for reminding us every day to be generous.

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Mary February 2, 2012 at 12:52 pm

My husband Michael and I will be celebrating our 8th wedding anniversary on Feb 21st. Please pray for our marriage to continue to grow and be strengthened and become even more Christ centered, in Jesus name.

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Debi - The Romantic Vineyard February 3, 2012 at 6:48 am

Tom and Debi – 33 years, and it seems like we’ve just begun. I love the way Tom leads me gently and unselfishly. He is my hero when it comes to demonstrating what laying your life down for another looks like. Is he perfect? No, but he’s perfectly mine!

What an excellent idea, Lori! I look forward to seeing the anniversaries listed each month!
Blessings,
Debi

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Debi - The Romantic Vineyard February 3, 2012 at 6:49 am

I forgot to say the date of our anniversary – Feb. 24th! :-)

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Cara Dickenson February 6, 2012 at 8:33 pm

Tim and Cara
February 25
23 years
He is a great provider

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Linda March 1, 2012 at 7:51 am

March 3 at 3 PM
24 years
He thinks I am sexy after so many years. he gives me wise counsel and loves his family.

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Lori March 3, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Mike and Lori
Feb 17th
11 years
I love how my husband tells me everyday how beautiful I am and that he loves me. It makes me feel so good. He shows me plenty of attention and can make me laugh.

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