Happiness is a Choice

November 28, 2011

in the generous life

Today, I have a guest post for y’all.  Enjoy.

This is Fawn with the Happy Wives Club and I’m so happy to be guest blogging here today.  In reading Lori’s daily blog posts, it’s a bit intimidating for me because they’re usually only a couple paragraphs long and my blog posts are typically 3x as long.  So my goal today is to figure out how to give one important piece of advice…in a few paragraphs or less.  Pray for me.  :)

Not long after my husband, Keith, and I first said “I do” we were confronted by negative comments about marriage everywhere we turned.  I was dumbfounded by the number of friends, family members and casual acquaintances who would make comments with regard to how difficult marriage is and how once the “honeymoon phase” ends we will need to face the realities of marriage.  And sadly enough, these were mostly Christian couples.  We heard about everything from the ‘first year blues’ to the ‘seven year itch.’  It was incredibly rare to hear someone speak encouraging words to us about lifelong love and marriage.  It was even rarer to hear the words “happiness” and marriage used in the same sentence.

But one day that all changed.  Riding in a crowded elevator after the end of one of the sessions, with Keith’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and my head nestled in his chest, a woman observing our affection began doing what so many had done before her, “Hold on to that.  It won’t last long…”  But before she could finish her less-than-positive statement, a minister also riding in the elevator added her two cents: “Happiness is a choice.  My husband and I have been married 29 years and we have chosen to be happy.  Every morning when we wake up we choose to enjoy our day with each other.  We choose to be happy.”  With that, she looked Keith and I square in the eyes and said, “Choose to be happy and it will last.”

To this day, that is the best piece of marriage advice we’ve ever received.  After that day, Keith and I made a conscious decision to never again listen to the negativity spoken about marriage.  We would always be beacons of light.  That was nearly eight years ago, and to this day, we wake up every morning and Choose Happiness.  What about you?  Have you made that choice?  If not, you don’t know what you’re missing.

Thanks, Lori, for allowing me to guest blog for The Generous Wife.  It has been my honor. 

Thank you, Fawn, for being an encouragement to wives. We all need to be reminded that much of life is a choice, including how we see our marriage.  We can choose to be marriage positive.  Thank you also for allowing me to be a guest author on your blog.  PEER PRESSURE … the good kind.

Image credit © Joyfuldesigns | Dreamstime.com

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It’s Never Too Late … Did you hear me? I said it is… NOT TOO LATE! (from Mystery32)

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Cultivate new life in your marriage on a regular basis – Mark Your Calendar (from The Romantic Vineyard)  Congrats on the new great-nephew!

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Be generous! Lori <><
27 days ’til Christmas!

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

netta November 28, 2011 at 6:55 am

I totally agree that happiness is a choice and something you have to work at. My husband and I have been married for 20 years and sorry to say instead of hearing remarks of encouragement for being married we have heard its impossible to be happily married. Maybe they dont know that all things are possible with God. Choosing to be happy doesnt mean that you dont have struggles in your marriage but I do believe it means that you are not going to allow the struggles to destroy your marriage. Like choosing to forgive each other because when you stay angry you cant be happy or have any joy or peace within or in your marriage. The husband and the wife have to make choices that will keep the peace so they can have a happy marriage.

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netta November 28, 2011 at 6:59 am

I just also want to add to my other comment. As God said in his word I have set before you life and death. Choose life. We must choose the things that will bring life into our marriage not death.

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Carol B. November 28, 2011 at 9:07 am

Amen! I can’t say that we were faced by the negative comments, but it is 24 1/2 years for us and it has only gotten better!

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Monique November 28, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I love reading these posts on marriage! My hubby and I were faced with the SAME negative advice from people in the church! Until one day some friends of ours gave us the best advice ever: “Life gets hard. But marriage doesn’t have to.” We love being married. My husband is my best friend. People think it’s so weird that we affectionately call each other “My buddy” but we’re best friends! He is my best buddy in the whole world and I love being next to him every day. I’m SOOOOO thankful to read your posts, and know that we aren’t the only happy couple left. We chose happy too. :)

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Aja November 28, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Thank you so much Fawn for this post. It’s amazing how much negativity is spoken about marriage from married couples and is one of the reasons why I started blogging about marriage early in our marriage. I needed to find people who wanted to choose happiness and was having a hard time doing that in real life. This helps me to be mindful of not just chiming in when people are speaking down about marriage and instead speaking up for marriage. Thank you again!

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Tammy November 28, 2011 at 7:21 pm

I completely agree!! More people need to realize how much power they have in their marriag simply by choosing to be happy. Great post.

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Emily December 5, 2011 at 9:45 am

I felt like I had no credability to answer those negitive comments, when I was still a newlywed. It is wonderful now to be able to say, “No, you’re wrong on that. It’s been thirteen years and being married to my husband is still amazing.” Like your post, we should all be in the business of encouraging others.

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