Build His Reputation

September 8, 2011

in the generous life

© Fotandy | Dreamstime.comYou know those things you can do to ruin your husband’s reputation, right? (like talking bad about him behind his back or acting like you expect him to be thoughtless or lazy)  Well, there are things that you can do to build his reputation.  How you act toward him says a lot to others.  What you say about him and and what you expect of him also speaks loudly.

So, speak kindly and respectfully to him.  Talk about him and act toward him in ways that reflect well on him.  Make it your mission in life to promote your husband’s reputation (I’m not asking you to lie or to ignore real problems, just build rather than tear down).

Yes, I know there are men who don’t act well or aren’t “deserving” of respect.  I’ll be blunt, this is not about them, this is about you and me, as wives and as individuals.  What we do and say is more about our values and what we believe.  Either we love our guys and we believe the Word … or we don’t.  Which is it?

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Ephesians 5:33  NIV

Image credit © Fotandy |

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Cindy September 8, 2011 at 5:25 am

VERY GOOD, Laurie. It’s so true that it’s not about what a husband does or doesn’t do which should guide our behavior. We’re told in the Bible not to treat him in a disrespectful manner. In other words, we’re not to stoop to name-calling, berating, screaming, nagging, game-playing, and being abusive in speech and/or manner. We can be unhappy, disappointed, fearful, distrusting, furious, or whatever about a situation involving our husband, and voice our anger and concerns without sinning and lowering our standards.

Just because a husband says and does things he shouldn’t, it doesn’t mean that we have to join him and add to the wrong behavior. We can get our point across and still be respectful and civil in the way in which we deliver it.

As I try to tell women, don’t allow abusive behavior. Sometimes extreme measures have to be used to escape it. But also, don’t become an abuser. The tables can turn in both directions.

For the average husband, abuse isn’t something they participate in. So be generous in building his reputation. It’s worth it on so many levels. Thanks Lori, for your insights on this subject. Please know that you are appreciated, greatly, for all you do to help wives!


Cindy B. September 8, 2011 at 6:43 am

1 Peter 3:1 tells wives, “Likewise…” Likewise implies that the verses that came before it are the example we are to use, so what do they say? The example is when Christ was being tortured, tried, and crucified for us, he bore it patiently and silently.

“Likewise, wives…” (1 Pet 1:3 AMP) it says that we are to win our husbands “not by discussion.”

Respectfully, I believe women would be far more effective in our relationships with men if we would learn this principle. I do not believe we need to “get our point across,” even if it is civilly. I have found that if I keep silent and be cheerful, through prayer, the Lord is able to get my point across for me. If I try to do it myself, I run te risk of not delivering it in the way that he is open to receive it, and try as I may, it may be perceived as disrespect.

The Lord did give us a command to respect our husbands and that command is not contingent upon him or his behavior. He also gave us a command in these verses from 1 Peter to bear patiently even behavior that we would consider “unjust suffering.”


Debi - The Romantic Vineyard September 8, 2011 at 8:39 am

This may be the most important role a wife has in building up her husband. How others view him based on my words is vital to a healthy marriage.
Thanks for the reminder, Lori!


Yvonne September 8, 2011 at 6:52 pm

This is something I’ve learned the hard way over the past 18 months. It’s amazing how positive words and reinforcement really bolsters a man’s image of himself! I so wish I had learned this years ago …


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