Don’t Jump!

August 25, 2011

in the generous life

© Redbaron | Dreamstime.comThe other day I overheard a couple having an argument.  The biggest problem seemed to be that both spouses were jumping to conclusions.  They filled in a lot of blanks themselves instead of asking their spouse to explain further.

I stopped a moment and had to ask myself how much do I do that?  Am I guilty of finishing my husband’s sentences in my head?  Do I take what he says and embellish it a bit with my own perspectives and/or imagination?  Am I listening to what he actually says or am I just hearing what I want to hear or what I expect to hear?

Why not develop the habit of asking questions?  Yes, it will take a bit to do so, but it’s so much kinder and you may actually understand a bit better what your husband is trying to communicate. (It’s also very OK to stop in the middle of a discussion/argument and apologize for jumping to conclusions.  Just pause, apologize and ask for clarification.)

 

“I’m hearing [whatever]. Is that what you mean?”
“Would you try explaining with different words?  I don’t feel like I’m getting it.”

“What does that mean to you?”

Image credit © Redbaron | Dreamstime.com

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) August 25, 2011 at 9:52 am

This is a struggle for me (and lots of others). We must give our spouse the benefit of the doubt, ask questions, and seek to understand where they are coming from. So many arguments could be prevented that way! Thanks again for a great tip!

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LMG September 9, 2011 at 7:10 am

Oh this one is so true! My hubby recently told me that is one of the most frustrating, and hurtful, things I do to him. I am working on this, thanks for the great reminder.

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