Get Educated – Have Great Sex

August 20, 2011

in the generous life

© Inga Marchuk | Dreamstime.comLooking back on my adolescence, it’s amazing that I actually was able to grow up and procreate.  I paid little attention to my own sexuality.  I was raised in a “silent about sex” environment with overtones of “good girls don’t” (I don’t even remember going through puberty, one day I woke up with boobs).  Then I felt guilty about being curious about boys  (I checked out the pictures of nude men in an art book at the library, but someone has erased the genitals) and felt guiltier still that I actually had sexual parts and the beginnings of sexual urges.

I stood between a silent (disapproving) family/church and a world that said go for it, here are your birth control pills.  Talk about confused. Even after marrying and having a kid, I still didn’t really know what sex was about.  I fretted about “taking too long” or not being “good enough in bed.”  My friends had a mixture of confusion and complaints as well.

Well, enough.  I’m sure y’all are familiar with the problems.  Let’s talk solutions.

I think education is huge and so is opening up and sharing about problems you have and solutions you have found.  Here are some good resources.

Secrets of Eve by Hart, Weber & Taylor – written by some truly brilliant people and based on research as well as survey results, one of the best books on female sexuality (it is a bit technical at times).
Intimate Issues by Dillow & Pintus – addresses the more common sexual problems and questions that women face, study guide included in book.

The Marriage Bed – articles (some of which I’ve written), but more importantly a bulletin board where you can get ideas and encouragement about sexual matters.  It is mixed gender discussion, but (the very hardworking moderators) try to keep the boards friendly and safe.

Intimacy in Marriage – Julie talks openly about sexual matters with some lovely insights and encouragements
Hot, Holy and Humorous – mysterious no name blogger (this gal will totally make you laugh until you pee)
To Love, Honor and Vacuum – Sheila (another run-laughing-to-the-bathroom blogger)
One Flesh Marriage – Kate and Brad tag team many sexual issues, lots of character stuff as well

Links may be monetized.
Image credit © Inga Marchuk |



The 7 Links Challenge is making its rounds:

Hot, Holy & Humorous: The 7 Links Challenge
Intimacy in Marriage: Seven Posts I Hope You Didn’t Miss
One Flesh Marriage: 7 Links Challenge
The Romantic Vineyard: Our 7 Link Challenge

Couple Things: Finding the Spark – great date night perspective
Journey to Surrender: The Body Image Battle Continues – how husbands see wives.
To Love, Honor & Vacuum: Why Sex Matters to Your Husband – another helpful male viewpoint.
Marriage Life: Your Words – this must be guy’s week, funny post about words and communication.
Marriage Works: Develop What’s Already There – OK, it’s officially guy’s week, nice insight.


Be generous! Lori <><

{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Christa August 20, 2011 at 5:13 am

If I may suggest another awesome book from hearts for the home…. When Risque is Okay. This book has had a HUGE impact on my marriage and my intimate relationship with my husband.

From the website:

“When Risqué is Okay is a practical, plain spoken, non-clinical approach to sex inside of marriage. Its perspective is distinctly Biblical. It addresses questions that are often too embarrassing to ask and teaches truths from which you will instantly see a benefit.

WARNING: This book is both direct and explicit. If practical instruction about sexual behavior inside of the marriage bedroom is offensive to you, it is probably better for you to read something else. While no street language is used and there are no explicit photographs, there are frank instructions about sexual behaviors. Please purchase accordingly. Up front is best. See the testimonials page for encouraging comments about the book from pastors and people of all walks.
“The author lays it on the line with humor and a direct approach that will both surprise and engage you. The subject matter is rated “M” to target married people exclusively because the book contains information unsuitable for youth and single adults.”

•What does the Song of Solomon have to say about oral sex?
•What are some of the things you need to say to your son or daughter before they go on their honeymoon?
• What can be done to turn a good marriage into a great one?
• When you are finished having sex, do you also feel loved?
• How can you help your wife feel so beautiful that she loses all inhibitions in the bedroom?
•How do you make love play a 24/7 proposition rather than an exercise in exhaustion placed last on your to-do list?
•Is there a way to understand your husband’s moods and lessen his anger?
•How do you help your husband avoid the honey trap?
•How do you know what bedroom acts are acceptable and how to have a biblical attitude toward sex?
•What can you do to keep your marriage hot and fresh rather than cold and clammy?”


J (Hot, Holy & Humorous) August 22, 2011 at 6:35 pm

Gracious! What a great compliment! (Do I need to reimburse anyone for adult diapers?)

I couldn’t agree more with the idea that you can “improve your game,” so to speak, if you do a little training. The best lovers are eager to learn — about sex generally and their spouse specifically. Thanks for the resource ideas. (By the way, I LOVE Julie Sibert’s Intimacy in Marriage blog as well.)


The Generous Wife August 23, 2011 at 8:14 am

@J I’m thinking this is just a good stock tip (to buy stock in adult diaper companies).


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