Experiential Problems

April 19, 2011

in the generous life

My husband (The Generous Husband) did a lovely post about communication ~ so I’m swiping it and sharing it with y’all here.  Do the gender swap in your head and apply it to how you relate to your husband.

Communication Problems © Michael Brown | Dreamstime.com

Ever seen a couple carrying out a conversation that seems to skip significant parts of the dialogue? Because of years of experience with each other, they know each other so well they don’t have to hit every point to communicate. However, what if they don’t know each other as well as they think? What if some of the assumptions are a bit off, or were true at one time, but have changed? Then the conversation is going to have problems. If they don’t catch on that they have lost track, they will miscommunicate, confuse each other, get in a fight, get frustrated, and so on.

This is an example of an experiential problem – a problem that is the result of incorrect or outdated experiential beliefs/assumptions about another person. I see a lot experiential problems in couples, so this week I’m going to do a series on this issue.

As a starting place, when you talk with your bride, try to be aware of places where you are making assumptions that you know what she is thinking or about to say. Slow down a bit and look for any sign that you have missed it. Even better, let her speak, or ask her to clarify your experience based assumptions.

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Louise April 19, 2011 at 1:52 am

Reading that was like de’ja-vu.. But actually its rather on point!

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