How to Start?

March 16, 2011

in the generous life

I had an email request for conversation starters or exercises that can help you learn to converse more easily (something we all need to learn).  I’m opening up this request to the entire list and I will add a bit of incentive to share your ideas – a contest.  Please leave your ideas as a comment to this tip.   I asked my husband to pick a number and the author of the tip that comes in that slot will win a copy of The Love Dare (aff link) book (for example, if my husband picked 12 then the 12th tip will be the winner). I’ll wait two weeks to let everyone have time to read this post and respond with a comment. Then I’ll announce the winner.

Be generous! Lori <><

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

The Princess March 30, 2011 at 6:12 pm

Credit for this has to go to my prince–for our most recent date, he settled us both on the couch & held up a pillow, saying that he would express gratitude, admiration or a compliment of me & then toss it to me. I was then to express a compliment, gratitude or admiration of him–or ask him a question–and toss it back (etc.). The one thing he hadn’t taken into account was that he’d chosen our kitty’s “kneading pillow”, which kitty soon reclaimed ;). We had to make do with a different pillow! But it was a very good evening–it went too quickly.

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Amber March 31, 2011 at 9:22 am

Friendship is a great conversation starter. Who can ever have difficulty starting conversation with a true friend with whom time and love is invested? We take interest in one another’s lives… in each others hobbies, work, extended family, life experiences throughout the day. Sometimes, if I know he has had a bad day, I will do something that I know will help him relax and open up. I will fix him a favorite meal, give a massage, encourage him, listen to him. I will join him on hobbies he likes (leather working, theology, metal music…) and that definitely opens up conversation. Listening, spending time with one another, savoring the unique differences that God has created within each of us has been an awesome way to communicate! When I become self-centered or focused on controlling my husbands day or time- then breakdowns of communication happen. It takes constant sacrificial love and time to keep the friendship side of marriage alive and well- and hence, enjoying deep, quality conversation :-)

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Amelia March 31, 2011 at 5:54 pm

I am no expert in this, but I love to start with “this is how I feel”…. and I also really try to remember to wait until I am not emotionally charged (uh I fail at this often!) because he will often tune me out if he thinks I am just responding to emotions. Honestly, we need more tips for this and I am loving reading through everyone else’s comments! Thanks for the chance – I think we could use that book well.

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Theresa April 2, 2011 at 12:36 pm

My husband and I love to play 20 questions…but we don’t limit each other to 20. It’s silly, lighthearted, and fun – and you can play anywhere! It makes time go by when you’re stuck waiting for things – layovers at the airport, waiting for an oil change, etc. Also, we love to teach each other things. I’m a nurse and my husband is a designer, so we don’t exactly speak each other’s language when it comes to how our days went. Rather than get frustrated with that, we spend time teaching each other our “lingo” – he explains how to use vectors and color wheels, and I explain different procedures and diagnoses. It takes patience (and my husband had to get over some of the gross things I had to tell him…), but it’s worth it – you’re talking, and growing in respect and appreciation for what the other person does.

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Chrissi March 30, 2013 at 2:53 am

My husband works out of town and is gone all week. When he’s home, dogs, kids, a honey do list, etc., all vie for attention. We have some AMAZING conversations in the car. Alone. A few minutes of quiet or uplifting music while we both take a breath…then we talk. :) I so blessed.

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