My sweetie wrote this as a Generous Husband tip. It was so good that I’m passing it on to y’all. I’ve swapped out the gender words so that it makes sense for us.
What about your home life/marriage makes you crazy? What about your [husband], what makes [him] crazy?
Maybe it’s something “minor” like how the toilet paper is hung, or empty ice trays in the freezer. Maybe it’s something more significant that causes a lot of frustration, or more work, or makes one of you feel unloved, unappreciated, or unheard.
Work up a SHORT list of things that drive you crazy, and ask your [husband] to do the same. Then exchange. This is not about right or wrong, or the correct or best way to do things – this is about things that really bug one or the other of you. Look at [his] list carefully, and pick one thing on that list that you can change for [him]. Don’t make promises, just make changes. When you have reduced [his] list of crazy making by one, pick another; then another.
As for your list, just give it to [him] and drop the issue. If [he] is really going to change things on that list, [he] has to want to; [he] has to choose to. As you whittle [his] list down, the chances of [him] working on your list increase.
Be generous! Lori <><