What Drives You Crazy?

March 1, 2011

in the generous life

My sweetie wrote this as a Generous Husband tip.  It was so good that I’m passing it on to y’all.  I’ve swapped out the gender words so that it makes sense for us.

What about your home life/marriage makes you crazy? What about your [husband], what makes [him] crazy?

Maybe it’s something “minor” like how the toilet paper is hung, or empty ice trays in the freezer. Maybe it’s something more significant that causes a lot of frustration, or more work, or makes one of you feel unloved, unappreciated, or unheard.

Work up a SHORT list of things that drive you crazy, and ask your [husband] to do the same. Then exchange. This is not about right or wrong, or the correct or best way to do things – this is about things that really bug one or the other of you. Look at [his] list carefully, and pick one thing on that list that you can change for [him]. Don’t make promises, just make changes. When you have reduced [his] list of crazy making by one, pick another; then another.

As for your list, just give it to [him] and drop the issue. If [he] is really going to change things on that list, [he] has to want to; [he] has to choose to. As you whittle [his] list down, the chances of [him] working on your list increase.

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Signe March 1, 2011 at 8:55 am

I’m not saying “don’t do this” however I once read an article by a wife who suggested doing this same thing to her husband. When the couple exchanged lists she was taken aback to find his paper empty. He simply said “Nothing you do irritates me” Meanwhile her list began with that all time most irritating habit, leaving the cap off the toothpaste. She realized how trivial her complaint was.
I used to get so worked up when my husband would come home from work, take off his socks and leave them laying by the couch. Recently though my husband has been working out of town, a lot. Now when I see his socks by the couch it makes me happy because it means HE’S HOME! I even leave the socks laying around, for a while anyway.
I guess my point is instead of pointing out irritations maybe find ways to overlook or be grateful for your spouses little quirks or weaknesses. Because you probably do do things that irritate your husband a little he may just be the kind of guy who thinks they aren’t bad enough to merit putting on a list. As a side though if your irritations are actually deeper than sock and toothpaste the above idea is a grea one like so many of your other posts.

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